A Love That Knows No Boundaries
by khalsey23
Summary: Meredith meets Derek at a medical conference in Paris, she is a journalist and Derek is a neurosurgeon, but Meredith is married. Contains Sensitive issues, domestic violence, and strong language. Currentmy being edited.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy or its characters, this is merely for fun.**

**Warning: This fic contains some sensitive issues, i have tried to be has sensitive has possible by not going to graphic, expect for one chapter later on in the fic which does contain violence. **

**Thanks to DuVe Gleek for offering to beta this. It will be edited at least once a week**.

_**A Love that Knows No Boundaries (LKNB)**_

**Chapter 1**

Derek Shepherd was stood up at the podium, looking out over a room of his peers, as he began his lecture at the Neurological Conference in Paris. He had always hated giving speeches, but his chief of surgery at Seattle Grace (Richard Webber), had insisted that he go along to talk about his medical trial that he had been overseeing for the past year. It also gave him the opportunity to catch up with some old friends. He would soon be off to work in Africa for a year, but he needed to get the trial off the ground first by introducing it to the rest of the medical community. It had taken him three months to get it right, and now apart from the odd death, it was a successful way of treating incurable tumours, giving those people a chance to live a normal life. He was one of the top neurosurgeons in the US and was requested a lot for consults and although he didn't like to blow his own trumpet, he had also treated plenty of famous people over the past ten years. Derek Shepherd, was known has a world renown surgeon, graduated top of his class at Dartmouth, nearly 20 years before, he had spent the last 18 years building his medical career, by all definitions he was a workaholic.

Whenever Derek stood at one of these podiums, before speaking, he thought back over his career, and how hard he had worked. How much he had sacrificed for his career. He didn't do relationships, he'd had a few in medical school and the longest lasting one was during his residency, with Addison Montgomery. For those seven years that they were together, they were both focused on their career, so the relationship suited them both. After their residencies ended though, Derek was offered an attending position in Seattle and Addison one in Los Angeles, it was a mutual decision to break up and they were still very good friends. Over the last 12 years, the relationships had been few and far between, but Derek was happy that way. He'd had several procedures named after him, but this trial that he was here to talk about had been his most risky, and Derek Shepherd wasn't known for taking risks, not with his career at least. Now, he was planning on spending the next year or so working in Africa, he wanted to leave the medical community remembering his name. He had an ego, but so did most successful surgeons and all of his articles had received acclaimed recognition. For a reason he didn't know, the only reaction he had ever cared about was the one of a certain journalist from the New York Times, he knew that, that person was here today, her editor had assured him, that she would be and he had been waiting to meet her for the past five years. He just wasn't sure why her opinion mattered so much to him. He scanned the room and as he did his eyes fell on the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, he knew that she wasn't a doctor as she was sat in the journalist section with a notepad, already scribbling notes, and talking to another woman who he recognised. At that moment he knew that she was the one person that he had wanted to meet. As she raised her head, her green eyes clashed with his blue ones and the intensity in hers, made him want to look away but he was mesmerised by her. They stayed there, gazing in each other's eyes until Derek heard someone clear their throat behind him and he finally tore his eyes away from hers, and started to speak.

Meredith Grey sat in the conference room, waiting for her editor to join her - she had attended so many medical conferences over the past four years - she was a journalist for the New York Times, and had started working for them, straight from college. She had attended pre-med, but when it came to applying for medical school, she realised that she didn't really want to become a doctor, that she was only doing it to honour her mother's memory. Her mother had been the great Ellis Grey, one of the first pioneering women doctors and the first woman to win the Harper Avery award. Her mother had been killed along with her father when she was nineteen, in a car accident, driving back home from dropping Meredith off at Dartmouth to start her second year of pre-med. Her parent's death had devastated her, she was very close to her father and although she hadn't been so close to her mom, she had still loved her. It was at her parent's funeral that her life had change unexpectedly, when a man approached her and introduced himself to her as her father. It took her a long time to get over the fact that both of her parents had lied to her, she was unable to form a close relationship with Thatcher or her sisters, Molly and Lexie. After her third year of pre-med, she realised that this was not what she wanted, she had always wanted to be a journalist and decided to finish her pre-med. After a year off she went back university and did a BA in journalism, followed by a masters at NYU. It was there at NYU on her first day she had met Mark James, a law school student. Meredith looked down at the simple gold wedding ring on her finger, having gotten married six years ago, but all she wanted to do was to take it off and throw it away.

She was glad when her editor Susanna finally joined her, mumbling something about Derek Shepherd, when he finally came on stage. She remembered that he liked to scan the room for a few moments before starting his speeches, her years in pre-med helped her immensely, when she applied for a job at the New York Times, Susanna had been very interested in her degree, and the fact she was Ellis Grey's daughter. It was the first time she had read one of Derek's Shepherd's articles, and for the past four years every time he had wrote an article, she would critique it for the New York Times. She had always wanted to meet him and write an article or a book on him. She had hoped that this would be the year she would meet him, Susanna had assured her that he was asking if she would be there this year. It was then that she feel someone's eyes on her, and when she looked up it was him, Doctor Derek Shepherd, her eyes met his and she could feel herself get lost in them, she had for just a moment completely forgotten where she was, until he looked away from her, his gaze had left her completely breathless. Her heart was pounding in her chest. She could hear someone whispering her name, pulling her out of her trance. It was then that she realised that Derek had just started speaking.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank to DuVe Gleek for betaing this update. Enjoy!**

**Chapter 2**

That evening, Meredith was in her room at the Ritz getting ready for the reception, this would be the opportunity she hoped to meet Derek Shepherd in person. She wanted to write a book on him - he was going to be one of the greats after all - as he would be as honoured as her mother was. No doubt in her mind he would be up there with her mother. She was just applying the last of her make-up which went well with what she was wearing; a deep blue baby doll dress. She didn't have a lot of make-up with her as her husband had never liked her wearing it, so she'd had to buy some at JFK. She would normally have just taken the small make-up case that was in her desk drawer, but she knew that Mark would look through what she had packed so it was probably a good idea to have forgotten it. She didn't want to make him angry, especially not before this conference. There was a knock at the door and guessing it was Susanna, she yelled for her to come in.

"Meredith"

"I'm just in the bathroom, I'll be out in a moment" Meredith looked over her appearance one more time, before walking out of the bathroom.

"Hey Susanna" Meredith said.

"You ready?"

"I am, just let me call Mark quickly"

"Meredith come on, we'll be late"

"It'll be quick. I promise" Meredith quickly grabbed her mobile and dialled Marks all too familiar number, but only getting his voicemail. Which she wasn't at all surprised about considering the fact that 4 in the afternoon in New York. "Hey, it's me, just checking in. I have a reception tonight, I'll give you a call when I get back to the hotel room. Oh I won't be taking my phone, so don't worry if you can't get hold of me, bye" she motioned to Susanna that she was ready.

Derek is in his room. Having just gotten out of the shower, he wraps a towel around his waist, not bothering to dry himself off and walks into the bedroom. With his hair and torso dripping wet, he went to grab his boxers, as his phone rang, he looked at the caller ID, seeing that it was Addison.

"Hey Addie"

"Derek, are you in Paris?"

"Yeah, I'm surprised Mark didn't tell you"

"He mentioned something about it. I'm, here on a consult and I was wondering if you fancied meeting for dinner"

"I have a reception tonight, why don't you join me?"

"Are you asking me out on a date, Dr Shepherd?" Addison teased him.

"Yes, I am Dr Montgomery"

"Just don't tell Mark"

"Our little secret" Derek laughed.

"I can be there in an hour"

"Okay, it's at the Ritz Carlton, give me a text when you're outside"

"Bye" Addison says, hanging up. Derek was looking forward to seeing Addison; he hadn't seen her in two years so it would be nice to catch up.

He couldn't believe that it had been two years since Addison and Mark's wedding, since he had last seen both of them. He knew that needed to change, that he needed to slow down, but if he did it would only go to prove how lonely he actually felt. Sometime he found himself missing Addison, not so much her, or their relationship, but having someone in his life, apart from the odd relationship here and there none of them lasted because Derek wasn't willing to put his career in second place. Derek got dressed; he couldn't be bothered with wearing a tuxedo or a suit, so he decided on trousers, and a button down shirt. He knew exactly what to expect from these receptions, which is why he had ask Addison to join him, to give him a bit of company without her constantly asking question about his work.

Meredith and Susanna arrived at the reception a little later than it started but they knew that no-one would get their much before 8 o clock, Meredith couldn't help but look around the room, and see if Derek Shepherd had arrived yet.

"Meredith" Susanna said handing her a glass of champagne.

"Yeah"

"He will be here don't worry"

"Who?"

"You know exactly who I mean, now relax and enjoy yourself, it's your night off, so make the most of it"

Derek left his room, to meet Addison, he had just exited the elevator, when he saw her walking into the hotel. She was wearing a black pencil skirt and a halter neck top, she gave Derek a wave and he walked over to her, giving her a hug.

"It's nice to see you, Addie. How's Mark?"

"He's still Mark, he told me to tell you to phone him, it been months Derek and he's worried about you, so am I" Derek took her arm and walked her toward the lounge where they are holding the reception.

"Addie, I'm fine"

"You're always fine, Derek. Now tell me something I will believe" Derek went straight to the bar, ordered himself a scotch and Addison a cosmo, before anyone of his peers saw him. He just wanted a moment to catch up with Addison.

"There's nothing to tell you, the trial is coming along well"

"Derek I don't want to hear about your professional life, I can read your articles, I'm talking about personally" Derek looks around the room, desperate not to look at Addison, when his eyes settle on her, the same woman from the conference that captured his attention and when he saw who she was with, he knew exactly who she was. He quickly excused himself from Addison and walked over to them.

"Susanna" Derek said, giving her a hug. "How are you? It's been a while"

"Derek, it's so good to see you again. I'm good, how are you?"

"You know me, working hard as usual" Susanna nodded remembering that Meredith was standing beside her.

"Meredith, this is Doctor Derek Shepherd, an old friend of mine, Derek I would like you to meet Meredith Grey" Meredith holds out her hand.

"It's a pleasure to finally meet you Dr Shepherd, I've read all of your articles" Meredith, trying not to feel the effects that he was having on her, couldn't meet his eyes, but could feel his stare.

"Ms Grey, call me Derek and I am well aware that you have a deep understand of medical procedures"

"Derek, its Meredith. I studied pre-med before I did journalism and my mother was a doctor"

"How come you never went to medical school?"

"I came to realise that I only did pre-med because of who my mother was and she had always wanted me to become a doctor, so I decided to follow what I had always wanted to do"

"I bet your mother wasn't happy"

"She died, when I was doing pre-med"

"I'm so sorry"

"It was a long time ago"

"Susanna, would you and Meredith like to join me and Addison?"

"Addison is here?" Susanna asked, knowing that she was married to Mark Sloan.

"Yeah, she agreed to accompany me tonight" Susanna looked at Meredith who nodded her head. Derek placed his hand on the small of her back and she tried to ignore the sparks that travelled up her spine.

"Meredith, Addison Montgomery-Sloan, Addie, this is Meredith Grey"

"Dr Montgomery, it nice to meet you"

"Ms Grey, I will admit I am a fan of yours"

"Thank you and it's Meredith. Ms Grey is my mother"

"You can call me Addison, then"

A waiter came over to them with champagne and Derek ended up being dragged off by an old colleague of his from his work with the 'Doctors Without Borders' program, but he couldn't keep his eyes of Meredith. He noticed that she kept playing with her wedding ring. He was a little disappointed that she was married, in the short time he had known her, he had felt more for her, than he had for any woman he had ever met, it was a shame that she was unavailable.

It was towards the end of the evening before Derek managed to get back to Susanna and Meredith; Addison had left a couple of hours before, having been paged back to the hospital. Every time he heard her giggle, he found it completely adorable, usually it would annoy him and whenever he noticed another doctor talking to her, he couldn't help but feel a pang of jealously, which was wrong considering he hardly knew her and she was married. He found his way back to them, and slid in the seat next to Meredith.

"Ladies I'm so sorry about that"

"Derek its fine, your trial is ground-breaking, people are going to want to talk to you about it" said Meredith

"Derek, Meredith, I'm going to retire for the night, it's been a long day. Meredith I'll meet you at 8.30 for breakfast and we can discuss your article"

"Sure, Susanna, I'll see you in the dining room in the morning" Susanna left and Meredith, for the first time that night, finds herself alone with Derek.

"Derek, it was a pleasure to meet you, but I should be going too. I had no sleep last night"

"Would you care to join me at the conference tomorrow? I don't have any more speeches for a couple of days, so I'll be sitting in on some of the other lectures"

"Yeah, okay, I think that it would be quite helpful as there are some medical procedures here that I don't quite understand and your assistance could be invaluable"

"Always thinking like a journalist?"

"Yeah, good night Derek"

"Goodnight Meredith" said Derek, giving her a kiss on the cheek. She smiled before disappearing out of sight. Derek sat back down, with a smile on his face. For the first time in a long time, he can see a chance of having everything that he had always wanted, but the question was; is he brave enough to go for it?

Meredith was relieved to find the elevator empty and leant up against the wall. She couldn't believe the effect that man had on her and she had never felt anything like it. He was the complete opposite of her husband, but she was married, and these feelings were wrong. No good could come of it. She entered her suite and had a quick shower before getting into the big King sized bed. She fell asleep almost instantly, with a smile on her face.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

After breakfast, Meredith met Derek in the lobby. Susanna had decided not to attend the conference that day and do some shopping, leaving Meredith on her own. She was glad that she had agreed to meet Derek. She saw him at the reception desk and walked over to him.

"Dr Shepherd"

"It's Derek, Meredith"

"Sorry Derek, are you ready?"

"Yep, just picking up my messages"

"Meredith" they heard behind them, Meredith closed her eyes and Derek noticed her face fall and a note of panic in her eyes when she opened them. She couldn't believe it, it was the one person that she really did not want to see, knowing that the fact that she was with another man would get back to her husband and that was not something she wanted to deal with - she knew exactly how he would react.

"Michael" she turned and plastered a fake cheerful smile on her face.

"Meredith, I thought it was you, what are doing in Paris?"

"I'm here for work, covering the Neurological Conference for the paper"

"I can't imagine Mark is happy about this"

"No, he isn't but it's my job"

She could suddenly feel Derek right behind her.

"Meredith, you ready?" asked Derek

"Michael, this is Doctor Derek Shepherd, he is helping me with my article. Derek this is my husband's business partner Michael Cotton"

"Nice to meet you"

"You too, Dr Shepherd"

"Meredith, do you fancy meeting for lunch? I haven't seen you in ages"

"We break for lunch at 1pm, so I'll meet you here in the lobby"

"I'll see you then" Michael gave Meredith a peck on the cheek and watched them walking into the conference room. He hadn't seen her look so relaxed and happy in a long time and he was glad to see it, he knew how Mark treated her, he just hoped that she was being careful. He could see how Derek looked at Meredith and could understand why, but he wondered how much he knew of Meredith home life, he would talk to her about it at lunch, he didn't want her to get hurt.

Derek showed her to their seats, which were right at the front of the room. He was curious about Michael.

"Are you okay, Meredith?"

"I'm fine" she knew what he was asking but didn't want him to find out.

"Okay" said Derek as the guest speaker started to talk, he kept glancing over a Meredith from time to time, who was so busy scribbling notes that he thought she didn't notice.

Meredith tried to concentrate on what the speaker was saying, but could feel Derek's eyes on her every so often. Her breathe hitching every time he looked at her, she tried to shake off the rising feeling of dread that was in the pit of her stomach, she couldn't help but be a little worried that Michael would tell Mark about Derek and she really didn't want to go home to an argument. After the speaker had finished, Derek asked her if she wanted a coffee but her mobile went off, she noticed it was Mark so she excused herself quickly, running out of the room.

"Hey"

"You didn't call me back last night" he said accusingly.

"Sorry I was tired"

"Meredith, you know to phone me, if you go out. Why did you go out?"

"It was a reception; it gave me a chance to meet some neurosurgeons for my articles"

"I'm guessing they're all men"

"Mark, it's my job"

"I don't care if you talk to any..." he began to say, the jealousy in his tone obvious

"Mark, I have to talk to them for my article"

"You aren't going out tonight; I'll call you and make sure"

"Fine"

"I only do it because I love you, baby"

"Love you too" Meredith says back, by this time she has tears running down her face, she rushes to the bathroom, to wash them off, before going back into the conference room. For the next hour she barely says anything to Derek and fobs him off when he suggests going for dinner that evening, she just can't take the risk.

"Mer, I know you're meeting your friend for lunch, but do you fancy having dinner with me tonight?" Derek asked hoping that she would say yes but something told him that the answer would be no. Since that phone call, something had been a little off with her, but he didn't want to push her.

"Derek I can't, I need to start writing this article. Maybe another night thought, I'm going to go and meet Michael for lunch, so I'll see you back here at 1.30" Meredith said before gathering up her stuff. Derek watched her go, but as he barely knows her, he can't really push her.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Later that evening, Meredith is in bed with her laptop on her lap, she is trying to read through her notes, but not able to concentrate as she feels so guilty about blowing Derek off like that but is best for him, not to get involved in any way with her. She is lost in thought when there is a knock at the door. She grabs her robe, before answering the door and is surprised to see Derek.

"Derek, how did you...?"

"Susanna. Have you eaten?"

"No I haven't"

"That what I thought. I don't eat when I have something to write so I brought pizza"

"You better come in then" she steps aside and Derek enters the room, just has Meredith's phone goes off. "I need to answer that, can you just do me a favour and keep quiet a minute, please"

"Of course" Derek says a little confused why, but goes a long with it, Meredith smiles at him and quickly answers her phone.

"Hey "

"So you did as you were told then?"

"I have an article to start writing Mark"

"Tell me you did as you were told" Meredith walks out onto the balcony.

"Yes, I did as I was told"

"Good, because I would find out if you hadn't and you know what would happen"

"Yes"

"Good. I am going away for a few days for a trial, so I won't be able to talk to you. When do you return from Paris?"

"We fly back on Saturday morning"

"I won't be back until Sunday night. Call me when you get in, even if you have to leave an answer phone message"

"Okay"

"Bye" he says before hanging up. Meredith goes back inside and sees that Derek had poured out some wine, she gives him a small smile before sitting down next to him. They eat the pizza in silence. For Meredith it had been a long time since she had been alone with a man other than her husband and for once it isn't her husband that scares her, but all of these feelings that come out whenever she is around him. Meredith thought back to what Michael said to her lunchtime.

"_So who this Dr Shepherd?"_

"_He's one of the top neurosurgeon's in the states."_

"_How do you know him?"_

"_Susanna, my editor introduced us last night. I wrote about his articles a few times"_

"_It sounds like you're a bit of a fan"_

"_Yeah I am, a part of my mother's foundation is look out for brilliant surgeons and he has a trial_

_which is sounding very promising. I'm thinking of doing a series of articles on him"_

"_Meredith, you like him?"_

"_Well yeah, he is an amazing doctor" Meredith says not noticing how closely Mark was watching her he had never seen that look of her face before, the look of total adoration._

"_Meredith I didn't mean professionally"_

"_Michael, I'm married, you know what he'd do"_

"_Unfortunately I do. Why do you stay with him Meredith?"_

"_I am not talking about this Michael"_

"_Look Meredith I care for you, I just want you to be happy, so be careful"_

"_Okay"_

"_He likes you"_

"_No he doesn't"_

"_Meredith I can see it in his eyes and in your's"_

"_Michael, please"_

"_Look I want you to be happy and you look happier than I have ever seen you when you're with him. I won't say anything to Mark, but you need a friend and hopefully he could be the one to help you"_

"_Thank you Michael, I appreciate it"_

"Meredith, are you alright?" she heard Derek ask.

"Yeah sorry, I just thinking back to something Michael said to me earlier"

"Oh"

"Derek thanks for the pizza, but you don't seem like the pizza kind of guy"

"I will admit I don't usually eat it. I suppose my family would say I was a health nut"

"I can get that"

"Judging from the fact that you like pizza, you're a bit of junk food addict"

"I suppose I am, my cooking skills leave a lot to be desired"

"I guess you husband does most of the cooking then"

"Not really, he eats at work, so I tend to eat on my own"

"What about friends?"

"Most of my friends still live around Boston and I have a friend who works at Seattle Grace, Cristina Yang"

"Dr Yang, how do you know her?"

"I did pre-med with her, but I haven't spoken to her in about four years"

"You lost contact" Derek wondered.

"Something like that" Meredith looks away from him. Derek notices that Meredith is getting uncomfortable, he touches her shoulder, causing her to flinch, Derek pulls her in close to him, feeling the need to protect her.

"I'm sorry Mer; I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable"

"It okay, Derek, I just miss them that's all"

"Meredith, I just want to be your friend, I always love reading your opinions on my articles and I will admit I was hoping to meet you finally in person" Meredith can feel a small smile coming on, to think that someone actually cares for her opinion.

"Why?"

"I honestly don't know. I have never cared what anyone has ever thought of me, I have worked hard to get where I am and have sacrificed a lot. I don't have many friends other than Addison and Mark, my last proper relationship was with Addison through our residency and that ended 12 years ago. I know you're married, but we could still be friends"

"Derek that is fine for when we are here in Paris, but when I go home, no contact is possible"

"Meredith I would love the pleasure of your company for these four days"

"So would I, Derek. Shall we see what movies are on?" Meredith comes across a film called 'Can't Buy me Love'.

"I haven't seen this movie in years"

"A rom-com Mer?"

"Hey, don't diss' it, its got Patrick Dempsey in it" Meredith says, snuggling into him, as they watch the film; she eventually falls asleep, in his arms, feeling safe for the first time since her parents died.


	5. Chapter 5&6

**Chapter 5**

The next day, Derek was supposed to meet Meredith for lunch, he had noticed that she hadn't been at the conference that morning, and he couldn't help but wonder why. She had given him her cell number the night before so he had tried to ring her but she wasn't answering her phone, or even coming to the hotel door, when he went to pick her up that morning. He found himself distracted during the conference lectures, by wondering what was going on with Meredith. He had asked Susanna what was going on with Meredith, but she wouldn't tell him anything, but Derek knew that she was keeping something from him, but didn't want to appear desperate and knowing that it had been so long since he had a chance to catch with her so he suggested lunch since it didn't look like Meredith was going to be attending the conference that day.

Susanna was already sat down when he walked into the hotel dining room. He was a little disappointed not to see Meredith there even though he knew it was unlikely to happen, he couldn't help but be disappointed.

"Hey Susanna" he said sitting opposite her.

"Hi Derek, how did you find the conference this morning?"

"Fine. Where is Meredith?" he asked her.

"Meredith is fine, Derek, she wasn't feeling very well this morning"

"Susanna" they heard Meredith voice behind them, Derek turns around and see Meredith walking towards them.

"Meredith, you feeling better" Susanna asked.

"I am thank you, Derek" she greets him with a smile.

"Meredith, you okay?" he asked her, noting the red puffy eyes that she had tried to disguise with make up.

"I am fine" Meredith said and waving over the waitress before ordering her lunch.

Throughout lunch, Derek and Susanna talked about his trial, and his work with the MSF and that he will be off to Africa again in the next few months. Meredith was quiet, trying to ignore the quick glances Derek kept throwing in her direction, she was trying not to draw attention to herself until she heard the word Africa.

"Africa, Derek?" she asked, looking up to meet his eyes for the first time since she sat down with them.

"Yeah, I volunteer for Médecins sans frontieres "

"Doctors without Borders...Right?"

"Yes"

"I'm surprised you find the time" she said looking back at her plate of food.

"Well, once every two years I spend three months working for them, but this time I am planning on spending a year with them"

"Maybe I could set up an interview with you Dr Shepherd, and discuss it" Meredith said sounding professional.

"Meredith, you know what would make a good series of articles" Susanna piped in, her eyes not leaving Meredith's face the whole time she was talking to Derek, and she knew that it would do Meredith the world of good.

"What that Susanna?" Meredith asked, looking at her editor.

"If Derek is up for it, you could possibly join him for a few months, and it would make for a series of extremely interesting articles, you never know you could win another Pulitzer"

"That would be a great idea, what do you say Meredith?" Derek said, jumping at the opportunity to spend more time with her.

"I would need to discuss with Mark before I make any decision" she said, purposely avoiding looking at Derek.

"I can understand that, Meredith, but it would be an eye opening experience" he said to her, feeling the need to reach out and take her hand in his, but ignoring the impulse.

"When would you be looking at going, Dr Shepherd?" Meredith asked. Derek tried not to whince, hating her talking him Doctor Shepherd.

"I leave in six months, so it's plenty of time of talk to Mark. I have a trial to finish up, plus I need to interview for a temporary head of department"

"So you have a lot to do before you go"

"I do but I am lucky, Richard, my boss, was my mentor during my internship and he knows how much this means to me. Usually I would have one of my attendings fill in as head of department, but as I am going to be gone much longer this time, I need someone more qualified to take care of my department" he told her.

"Derek, I was thinking after our talk last night, about visiting Seattle. I run a foundation in my mother's name, a foundation for surgical excellence. I will admit that I do have more than a journalistic interest in you and your trial. I was wondering if you and your chief of surgery was open to the idea, that on behalf of the foundation to take a closer look at your trial" Meredith knew that his trial was what the foundation was looking for but it also allowed her to spend more time with Derek, without the need of explanation to Mark.

"Can I ask which foundation it is?"

"The Ellis Grey Foundation for Surgical Excellence"

"Ellis Grey...she is your mother?" Derek says a little shocked, but having done some of his residency under the great Ellis Grey, he could see the resemblance. "You look at little like your mother"

"I don't know if that is a good thing"

"She was an amazing doctor"

"That she was, not such a great mom though"

"I'm sorry, Meredith" Derek gives into to the same impulse that he ignore earlier and reached over and took her hand in his; Meredith looks at him directly in the eye and found herself getting lost in his gaze. Susanna watched them smiling and clearing her throat, causing both of them to jerk away from each other. Meredith looks down at her plate, avoiding eye contact with Derek and Susanna.

"Meredith, doesn't a part of your mother's foundation donate money to the Doctor without Borders program" Susanna asks her.

"It does, I believe that was on the request on one of the trustees, Dr Web..." Meredith trails off; remember what Derek had said to her only two days before. "Derek, did you say your mentor and chief of surgery for Richard Webber?"

"I did, why?"

"Richard Webber, is one of my mother trustees on the foundation"

"I wasn't aware that he know Dr Grey, you know he had never mention her"

"They did some of residency together, before my mom moved us to Boston. You know, I am due to visit Seattle in about month or so for foundation business, maybe we could meet up for dinner one evening"

"I would like that Meredith"

"So would I, you will have to give me your e-mail address before we leave on Saturday" Meredith said to him.

"Well, that is settled. Thanks for lunch but I have an interview in 30 minutes so I better get a move on, and I am sure Mark will be ringing" Meredith stands up and heads out of the dining room without saying goodbye. Derek looks at Susanna with a look of curiosity on his face.

"Mark, who is Mark?" he asks Susanna.

"Mark...Mark...is her husband" Susanna says with a look of contempt on her face.

"Oh..." he said, he had noticed the wedding ring but he daren't ask.

"I have only met him a few times, when he has come and picked her up from the office" Susanna said.

"You have dinner parties, don't they ever come?" he asked wanting to know more about her husband and he hate the jealous feeling that arose.

"Meredith always says that they have another party, something to do with his work" she told him, and Derek picked up from her tone that she didn't believe her.

"What does he do?"

"He's a lawyer, for one of the biggest firms on Wall Street"

"You don't seem to like him much"

"I don't, he is very controlling, she can't go anywhere without his permission and the only time that she will stand up to him, is over her career"

"Does he ever...hit her?" he asked, but not sure if he wanted to know the answer.

"I don't know for sure Derek but I think he does" Susanna had to be honest with him, she had suspected but Meredith had never confirmed it.

"She doesn't look like the type of person that would take all that"

"She is a very different person around him, Derek"

"Can't you help her if you know what is going on?"

"Derek I understand what you are getting at, and I agree with you, but until she comes to me for help there is nothing I can do. Derek I want you to be a friend to her, let her see what he is doing to her, that why is why I want her to go on this trip to Africa with you, so that she will be free of it and she might finally realise that this is wrong. Please, be a friend to her? But I wouldn't let her husband know"

"Why do you want me to be a friend to her, I like Meredith a lot, but you have been pushing this for years?" he asked her, knowing instinctively that the friend Susanna had wanted him to meet was Meredith.

"Derek, when I first met her I though she was perfect for you, with her medical background, and the way her eyes light up at the mention your name. She is a huge fan of your's, and once I met her husband I was even more sure of it. If I am honest, I think you could help her"

"Help her how?"

"Think about it Derek, convince her to go to Africa with you, the only time she will stand up for herself to Mark is when it concerns her career, the time away from Mark, will hopefully give her a new perspective. She needs to get away from Mark; she always blames herself for everything that he has done to her"

"How am I meant to be a friend to her, it's obvious he control everything she does"

"What do you mean?"

"She told me last night that she is friend's with one of the residents that works at Seattle Grace, Cristina Yang, well I spoke to Cristina last night, after I left Meredith's room, and she told me how since Meredith married Mark , he has systematically cut her off from each of her friends. She was very concerned about her" he knew that he could share this with Susanna without it going any further.

"I am very concerned too Derek, please don't let her suspect that you know what is going on, because she will push you away. Meredith hasn't had it easy not since her parents died. She was all alone and Mark came along and took care of her. She feels that she owes him and that alone is more powerful than any blame he puts on her"

"I don't know Susanna, Meredith has made it clear that when she returns to New York, that there isn't any contact between us"

"Derek, she might surprise you. Listen what are you doing tonight?"

"I am meeting Addison for a few drinks; and her husband is flying over today, so I figured I better see them"

"There is a ball tomorrow night, at the Louvre, and Meredith and myself are attending for personal business, how would you like to join us?"

"Would Meredith mind?" Derek asked, but he couldn't deny that it was tempting.

"I will ask her later" Susanna looks at her watch noticing the time "I have to go Derek" she said standing up. "It was nice having lunch with you Derek " she said before disappearing and leaving Derek with his thoughts.

**Chapter 6**

**I have added this onto the end of chapter 5 because I accidentally deleted chapter 6 here on . Enjoy!**

It was the last day of the conference, both Meredith and Derek were flying home the next morning, Meredith to New York, and Derek direct to Seattle. They were sat next to each other in the last speech of the day, and stealing glances at each other when they thought the other wasn't looking. They both found that they weren't able to keep their eyes of each other, like they were trying to imprint each other on the brains. Meredith couldn't explain the feeling of dread that she felt at the thought of leaving him, she was married and that worried her; she had never felt this way with her husband, the way she felt when she was around Derek. The way her heart would flutter, and her breath would catch in her throat, whenever he accidentally grazed her hand or how he cupped her chin to get her to look at him, the way his thumb gently caressed her cheek, she realised that it was exactly what she had been looking for and thought that she had found with Mark at first, but she now knew she had never been in love with Mark, not like she was with Derek. Being in love scared her, especially with someone that she had only met four days before.

Derek couldn't keep his eyes off the petite blonde sitting next to him, fiddling with her wedding ring, has if to remind herself that she was married, like he was ever going to forget, that the woman he loved, and yes he could admit to himself that he was in love with her. After his talk with Susanna, a couple of days before he wasn't ready to let her go home, he wanted to beg her to come to Seattle with him, he was terrified what might happen to her. The thought of anyone laying a hand on his Meredith made his stomach churn, but she wasn't his Meredith, she was married to that asshole of a husband of her and he wished that he could just take her away from it all, but he knew that she wouldn't let him, that despite of what Mark had done to her, she still believed that she owed him and that was one of the hardest things to overcome.

"Meredith"

"Derek" they both said at the same time, they looked at each other and burst out laughing, they were oblivious to the stares of annoyance from the people around them.

"Do you want to get out of here?" he whispered to her, taking her hand in his and caressing the back of her hand with his thumb.

"Yep, I have enough for my articles, let's go" Meredith goes out first, then followed by Derek a few minutes later. Susanna watched them leave but knew that they was leaving to spend some time together before returning to their prospective lives, she smiled to herself, hoping that Meredith would follow her heart just this once.

Once they left the conference room, they walked over to the bar, hand in hand, they both needed to feel each other, aware that there time was coming to an end. Meredith sat down in the booth, while Derek went and got them some beers. When he came back, he sat next to her, taking her hand in his, he noticed the look of panic etched across her beautiful face.

"Meredith, what is it?" Derek asked concerned, Meredith shook her head.

"It's stupid" she murmured looking away from him.

"Mer, please tell me what it is?" Derek pleaded with her; he needed her to talk to him.

"I...leave...can't...you" she said in between the sobs.

"Mer, slow down"

"It's stupid, I barely know you but I don't want to leave you, Derek. I am married, but..." she said trying to wipe the tears, this was not her, she never cried. Derek pulled her into his arms and held her against his chest.

"Sshhh, Mer I know. I don't want to leave you either, but we have our own lives to get back to, but let's forget about going home tomorrow, and let's enjoy our last night together. Okay?"

"Okay. So what are we doing tonight?" she asked him looking up from where her head rested against his chest, Derek looked down at her and he just wanted to kiss her, to taste those luscious lips of hers.

"Tonight Meredith, we are going out for dinner? So, I hope you have brought something with you to wear to an expensive restaurant"

"I have. What time are you picking me up Dr Shepherd" she asked pulling away from him but turning to face him in the booth.

"I will pick you up at 8 o clock from your suite"

"You are going to have to let me know how much to bring?"

"Meredith, it is my treat" he told her.

"Derek, I can't do that"

"Yes you can Meredith. I earn a lot of money, and I barely spend any of it, so tonight I am paying for dinner and I want to treat you, something tells me that you don't get treated often so I am going to spoil you Ms Grey" he told her, bringing her hand up to his mouth and kissing her hand. Both of them tried ignoring the sparks that they felt throughout their bodies.

"Derek... I can't let you paid for dinner" she said shaking her head, even those she wanted him to spoil her.

"And why not?

"I'm married, nothing can..."

"Sshhh" Derek says putting his finger against her lip. "Meredith, I am not going to deny that I am attracted to you, any man would be crazy not to. I know you feel the same way about me, but I would like us to be friends at least, and I like to treat my friends"

"Fine, but next time it my turn to pay" she said hoping that will be a next time.

"Deal" Derek smiled at her, not realising that Derek echoed the same hope. "Good, and maybe we could find a nice quiet bar after dinner"

"That would be nice Derek" Meredith says leaning over and kissing him so softly on the lips, they can both feel the sparks that happen when their lips connect, Derek went to deepen the kiss, but Meredith pulled away quickly before getting up and practically running toward the elevator.

"Damn" Derek mutters under his breath, before running after her, and just getting to the elevator , just before the door closes, Derek stopped it and is grateful when the door close that they are the only one on it.

"Derek, I sorry that shouldn't…" she said, not able to look at him.

"Meredith, it wasn't your fault, I wanted it just as much has you did" he did not want her feeling guilty.

"Yeah, but I am married Derek, Mark gonna kill me"

"Meredith" Derek said, turning her to look at him. "Nothing happened; so he doesn't need to know anything"

"Derek, he can tell when I feel guilty"

"Meredith, you have nothing, and I mean nothing to feel guilty about, so stop, please" Derek says almost desperately, trying not to show how scare for her he was, because he knew if Mark picked up on it, then she would get heard and he was not about to let that happen if possible.

"Okay" Meredith agreed quietly, seeing the worry in his eyes, made her realise that he knew, that Susanna told him her fears.

"We still on for dinner tonight?" he asked him.

"I dunno if that is such a good idea, Derek" she said, wanting so much to join him but she knew that she wouldn't be able to leave him if she did.

"Meredith, I'll tell you what; if you decide to meet me for dinner, I will be waiting for you at the bar at 8 o clock. I hope that you do, but if you don't I won't be offended" Derek says caressing her cheek, has he gave her his mcdreamy smile, before leaving her alone on the elevator, to think about her decision.


	6. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Meredith stood at the gate waiting to board her flight home; she was pacing up and down, she did not noticing Susanna watching her closely. Meredith was aware that Derek's flight had left an hour before hers; and she was regretting that she didn't meet him for dinner the previous night. But she knew what would happen between them if she did, and she didn't want to hurt him like that. She knew that if Mark ever found out about Derek, that he would find away to hurt him and she couldn't let that happen, she had to protect him from Mark and she intended on doing just that. In the short time they spent together she had fallen in love with him, even though she had feelings for Dr Derek Shepherd for years, since the first day she had heard of him. It seemed weird to say in her head, especially as she only knew him for four days, but she was. He looked at her the same way her father looked at her mom and that was what she wanted.

Derek was sat in first class and his mind kept wandering to Meredith, and he had already figured that after their kiss yesterday she wouldn't join him for dinner but he couldn't help but be disappointed when she didn't turn up. He had stood outside her room for an hour without knocking on the door before he decided to go back to his room. He had prepared himself for the fact that she wouldn't come but it still hurt. He had promised himself that he wouldn't fall for her, but his heart didn't listen to his head.

He regretted not being able to say goodbye to her but if he did see her, he would beg her not to return to New York but to come home to Seattle with him. He knew from the first moment he saw her; that she was it for him that she was the one but she belonged to someone else. Someone who didn't deserve her and there for nothing he could do, he hadn't prayed in years, even those he was raised Catholic but he prayed that she would be safe and she would be alright, that was all he wanted for her.

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Susanna dropped Meredith off outside her brownstone, Meredith was thankful that Mark wasn't home until tomorrow night; it gave her time to sort her thoughts out. She placed her case in the hallway, and walked into the lounge and collapsed in a chair, her mind full of thoughts of Derek. This was her home but it didn't feel like it and if she was honest it never did, it was always Mark house, Mark's home. She had never felt comfortable in this house but for she had never felt so comfortable either. She grabbed her suitcase and hail down a cab, asking the cab driver to take her to Waldoff Astoria. Once they arrived she paid and thank the cab driver and walked into the hotel and up to the desk.

"Welcome to the Waldoff Astoria, madam, how can I help you?" the desk clerk asked her,

"Do you have any rooms available please?"

"I'll just take a look madam"

"Thank you" Meredith looked around her, when she noticed Mark walking through the lobby, with his secretary Isobel, laughing at something that he said when he leant down and kissed her. Meredith readjusts her coat so they don't see her.

"We have a suite available?"

"Yep that fine. Can I have it for two nights please" Meredith hands over her credit card, before they give her key. Once she gets into her suite, she tips the bellboy and once he gone, she collapses on the bed and cried.

MDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMD

Once Derek landed in Seattle he headed straight to his apartment and dropped off his bags. Deciding to go to Joe's, he couldn't face being alone in his apartment, and walking into Joe's, he could see most of his hospital colleagues in one corner but he headed straight to the bar.

"Hey Dr Shepherd"

"Hi Joe"

"The usual doc" Joe says placing a scotch down in front of him. "So, how was trip?"

"It was boring has usual" Derek said to Joe, not wanting to share exactly what happened.

"Boring, was it?" a woman voice said from behind him.

"Dr Yang" Christina sits down get to him, asking Joe for a beer.

"How was Meredith, when you saw her?" she asked straight to the point.

"She was fine Cristina"

"Have heard from her since you've been back" she asked him

"No I haven't. I wasn't expecting to hear from her. Why?" he asked, curious.

"I have had several missed calls from her but when I ring back I don't get an answer. I am worried about her" Cris said, showing her human side for once.

"She doesn't have my number Cris, and even if she did she wouldn't ring me anyway" he said sadly.

"I thought you guys got along really well in Paris"

"We did, but she didn't want to risk him finding out"

"That make sense, he has systematically cut her off from everyone she knows."

"I am sure she is fine Cris" he said, hoping that he was right. He couldn't bear the thought that she was in any danger.

"I hope so. I'll see ya Monday" Cris says walking away, Derek has a couple of drinks before heading home to a lonely apartment, and he just wished that Meredith was by his side.


	7. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Derek had just scrubbed out his last surgery of the day, he had just done four back to back surgeries, and he was exhausted, he quickly spoke to the family, before handing his chart to the on duty nurse, and was headed towards his office, when he heard someone call his name, he turned to see a nurse walking up to him.

"Yes Debbie" Derek prayed that she didn't want him for anything, he was tired and he just wanted to leave for a couple of hours before rounds started.

"Have you seen Dr Yang?"

"I have been in surgeries all day so; no I haven't seen her" Derek snapped.

"Derek" he heard from behind, he closed his eyes thinking that he was just hearing things until she said his name again.

"Meredith" Derek said turning to face her.

"Hey" she said quietly. Derek moves closer to her, and pulls her into an embrace, Meredith melts into his arms, and he instantly makes her feel better.

"Mer, what you doing here?" Derek says pulling away and looking at her closely.

"It's a long story Derek, and I am exhausted" she told him, Derek could see the red puffy eyes, and the dark circle but she had never looked so beautiful to him.

"Let's go to my office Mer" Derek says picking up her case, and taking her hand, leading her towards his office.

Derek closed the door behind them. Meredith watching him quietly and it had only been two days since she saw him, but it felt like a lifetime, she couldn't stop the tears as she began crying again. Derek rushed straight to her side, and he wrapped any harm around her and held her close has she cried.

"I'm...sorry..."

"Sshhh..." Derek stays still holding her; he guides her over to his couch, letting her cry into his scrubs.

"Where are you staying Mer?" Derek asked her almost lovingly, when her sobs quietened down.

"I dunno, I didn't think, maybe with Cristina" she said into his chest.

"You can stay with me, Meredith" Derek offered, causing Meredith to look up at him.

"I don't want to impose"

"Mer, you could never impose. I am never home, so you would be doing me a favour" he says to her, not telling her that she would give him an excuse to come home every night.

"Are you sure?"

"I am positive Mer, do you want me to drop you back now, coz i have to be up in two hours for rounds" Meredith insists that she will be fine there and pulling out the sofa bed. Meredith falls asleep rather quickly and once Derek has a shower. He changes into some clean scrubs, he walks out of his private shower to find her in asleep.

He smiles even when he hears the snores that come from the small women asleep, he lies down next to her, on top of the blanket, and watches her sleep, he had never seen someone so beautiful and he wanted to gather her in his arms and never let her go, but he couldn't, she wasn't his to protect. He didn't know what happened when she returned to New York, she hadn't told him yet, but if Mark laid a hand on her; he would kill him, Meredith moves closer to him, wrapping her arms around him, Derek holds her and drifted off to sleep.

Meredith woke up several hours later, to find herself alone in his office, she looked around his office, there was no pictures, expect for one with who she guessed was his family. He saw the note that he left on his desk address to her.

_Meredith,_

_Got paged for an emergency surgery, i have told Cristiana you are here, she said to go and find her, hopefully i won't be too long and I'll take you home, i have left you some towels if you fancy a shower._

_Derek xx_

Meredith smiled, she was hoping to bump into him, not realising how easy it would be. She went and had a shower, before deciding to look for Christina. She only reached the elevator before she bumped right into someone, she looked up to the person, and saw it the chief of surgery and her mom's old friend Richard Webber.

"Meredith, what are you doing here? I didn't think that we had a meeting for another month"

"We don't Richard, I am here visiting friends"

"You haven't been here for years Mer, not since..."

"I married Mark I know" Meredith says has the tears start up again, Richard pulls her into a hug, causing Meredith to start crying.

"Let's go to my office, Meredith" Richard says leading the way, once they were inside his office Meredith couldn't stop the tears, Richard held her until she calmed down.

"I'm sorry Richard"

"Meredith, what happened?"

"I got home from Paris on Saturday and decided to stay at a hotel, because I didn't want to home, and Mark wasn't expecting me back until Sunday night. I saw Mark with his secretary coming out of the elevator"

"Mer, it could have been nothing"

"Richard, they were hugging and kissing, Mark has never been like that with me, he just like to use me has his punch bag" she says, not realising exactly what she said.

"Meredith, are you telling me that he hits you" Richard asked her, Meredith ignores the question

"I decided to come and stay with Cristina, but I bumped in to Derek and he offered to let me stay at his"

"Derek, as in Derek Shepherd"

"I met him in Paris, he has been wonderful"

"I am glad for the both of you" he said patting her hand.

"Richard, he told me that you were his mentor"

"I have been since his first days of medical school"

"What is he like?" Meredith needed to know.

"Who, Derek?" Meredith nods her head. "He is a fantastic surgeon Mer, just like your mom, if not better, the patients love him. I do wish he would get more of personal life, his life for so long has been his career and getting to the top of his game, but I know it would give it all up if he could be with someone that he loved. Derek is a great guy Meredith"

"I just wish that everything wasn't so complication Richard, I really like him" Richard watched her closely, and he could see how her eyes sparkled whenever Derek name was mentioned.

"Mer, I was on my way to see Dr Shepherd in surgery, he is performing a hemispherectomy on a young girl, you would like to come and watch?"

"I would love to chief" Meredith follows Richard out of his office and towards the gallery, which is packed, but they manage to find two seat on the front row.

She can see Derek working, and she unable to take her eyes of him, she had always wanted to see him in surgery, but to see him working took her breath away. Derek in the OR could feel her eyes on him and it made him smile underneath his mask, he wanted to look at her but he needed to focus on his surgery, which had just started.

"George would you like to cut"

"Yes of course Dr Shepherd" George said, giving Derek a chance to look up at Meredith and smiled at her, she smiled back, not taking their eyes of each other. Meredith never noticed Richard watching her closely.

"So you finally get your ass to Seattle Mer?" Meredith heard from behind her.

"Cristina" Cris pulls her into a quick hug.

"Cris, this constitutes has hugging and in front of people"

"Shut up, you are my person and I have hardly seen you in last 6 years" she turns to all of the interns, and most of them are her's. "You repeat this to anyone, and you will all be on scut for a month" Cris shoos one of the interns out of the seat next to Meredith, but she notices that has soon as they sit down, Meredith goes back to watching Shepherd.

Cris studies her friend closely, and what she see their in her eyes both intrigues her and worries her. Derek patient begins to code on the table, and despite valiantly trying to save him, Derek had to call time of death, and walks out of the OR, Meredith excuses herself, to find that she can remember her way from the gallery into the OR's scrub room, and she walks in and hold Derek while he cries.

"I am sorry Mer; i just hate losing a child" Derek says holding her closely.

"Derek, its fine" Meredith assures him, has his lips met hers, for the first time since Paris, they both needed this, to feel that connection that they seems to have until Meredith pulls way.

"Sorry that wasn't supposed to happen Mer"

"Derek it's fine. I needed that" she said just brushing his lips with her own.

"I need to tell the family" Derek says giving her a kiss on the head. "I will meet you in my office Meredith" he told her, squeezing her hand before leaving the scrub room.


	8. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

**A/N This update is up early because my NVQ work is driving me mad and I needed a break so I figured I would post another chapter this week, don't worry I will post another chapter either Thursday or Friday.**

**Warning: Violence. **

**Please read if you are over the age of 18.**

Meredith had been in Seattle for four days, Mark had constantly been ringing her cell, so she had she ended up turning it off. She knew that if she had spoken to him, that he would convince her to come home, but she was happy where she was. For the first time since they were married, she had her freedom and was able to go and do what she wanted. She was still staying with Derek in the guest room, she had offered to move to Cristina's or a hotel but Derek wouldn't hear of it.

Meredith was in the shower, thinking about what her next move will be, she was due to meet Cristina at the hospital for lunch, and she knew that Derek would be cooking her something tonight, they both knew they needed to talk. Meredith was scared, not of Derek, but what she knew Derek wanted to discuss she could see it in his eyes. There was a knock at the door and it made Meredith jump she wasn't expecting anyone, both Cristina and Derek were at the hospital. She was deciding whether to answer the door or not when there was another knock. She grabbed the brown fluffy towel of the side, wrapping it around herself, has she went to answer the door.

"Hello Meredith" Meredith froze.

"Well, aren't you going to give your husband a kiss" he said walking into Derek apartment, uninvited.

"What...How...you" she rambled.

"Meredith, stop rambling, you an adult not a child" he scolded her.

"How did you find me?"

"I have friends in high places Meredith, I can find you anywhere in the continental US, so there isn't anywhere that you can hide from me. Now get dressed, we are going home"

"I am not going anywhere with you" Mer stood up to him.

"You have got feisty in the few days since you left, well that will change" he says advancing on Meredith, so she is backed into a wall, with him standing in front of her, he grabs her face, yanking her head up to make her look at him"

"Mark, you are hurting me" she pleads with him.

"Go and pack"

"No, I don't think you little slut of a secretary will be happy to see me" Mark slaps her across the face.

"I would suggest you keep that mouth shut, you whore. Now, pack" Mark says furiously, grabbing her arms and dragging her across the apartment towards the open bedroom door and he throws her on the bed. He rips the towel open so she is naked, and leans over her, grabbing her hair, and yanking it back, bringing tears to her eyes.

"You and this belongs to me, and me only, got it? Don't ever speak about her like that ever again; she is ten times the woman you will ever be. You are the whore, and he will get bored of you soon enough, no one wants you Meredith, even your parents died to get away from you. Get dressed, you have five minutes, and for fuck sake Meredith stop crying or I will give you something to cry about." He spat at her slamming the door behind him. Meredith sat up on the bed, drying her eyes, hardening herself up, ice queen Meredith, the Meredith that never showed any feelings or emotions, the Meredith that knew it would make the beatings worse. By the time she left the bedroom, she was that Meredith, the one who had no one, the Meredith, which had been beaten down, lifeless and cold.

"Let's go" she said coldly, looking around Derek's apartment quickly before locking the door behind her, silently saying goodbye, has she drops the key into his mailbox.

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Derek had stopped off at the supermarket on his way home from the hospital; he was making her his homemade lasagne and salad. Pulling up to his parking space outside of his apartment complex, he could feel a feeling of dread in the pit of his stomach and it wasn't one of his patients, he had only had two simple surgeries today. He had been worried about Meredith, he had spoken to her that morning, and then not been able to get hold of her all day, and he knew that she was suppose to have lunch at the hospital with Cristina, but Cristina told him that Meredith never turned up, and he knew that Meredith had been looking forward to it. Derek left as early has he could and rushing up the stairs, he unlocked the door and it was eerily quiet inside and dark, he had gotten used to coming home to loud music, and Meredith dancing around the living room, carefree, even those it had only been four days since she came to Seattle.

"Meredith, I'm home" he called through has he place the shopping on the table in the kitchen, then, he called Meredith's name again but still no answer, he walked towards her room, and gently knocked on the door, but once again so answer, he pushed the door open, knowing what he would find, when he entered that room, that she was gone.

He sat on the edge of the bed, and actually felt like his heart had been ripped out, he wandered if she had gotten scared after their talk the previous night, he laid down on the bed, that smelled uniquely of her, he felt something crumple beneath his head, and reached back to pick it up, it was an envelope with his name written on it, in Meredith's handwriting. He opened it and read it, with tears running down his face; he knew that he had lost her.

_Derek,_

_Please don't be angry with me, but I had to leave, Mark found me, I don't know how but he did. I want to thank you for your hospitality, for letting me stay with you; you have been a wonderful friend._

_Meeting you in Paris, was the best thing that happened to me, and I know how made the right choice in coming to Seattle, I know I told you I came here for Cristina, but really I wanted to see you again, but unfortunately all good things must come to an end._

_Thanks for being there, being a shoulder to cry on, I can find the courage to return to my life with Mark, because of you, because for once in my life, since my parents died, I have felt love, and I will take that with me. I am not strong enough yet to fight back, but one day I will, because you have given me the strength and I hope to see you happy, even if it isn't with me._

_I love you, I do, there I said it, but I am not risking your life or career. I guess Africa is out of the question for me._

_Tell Cristina I am sorry and that she will always be my person, that I will try and contact her soon._

_Goodbye Derek, _

_I love you_

_Meredith xxxxx_


	9. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

It had been a week since Meredith returned to New York with Mark and Mark hadn't left her alone all week. He had taken her phone off her, called in sick for her, he wasn't letting her out of the house; she was surprise that he didn't lock her up. It had been a miserable week and she couldn't stop thinking about Derek, she missed him so much and she longed to hear his voice again. Mark was talking about going back to work the next day, which meant that she could finally get away from him for a few hours.

Meredith was sat on the sofa reading a book, while Mark was sat in his office. Meredith had the television on in the background, but she was so engrossed in her book. It wasn't until she heard Derek name being mentioned that looked up from her book and stared at the TV and she reached over for the remote and turning up the volume. She didn't hear what was being said but she couldn't take her eyes off the screen as she studied his face and she could see the sadness in his eyes. But he looked as handsome has ever and she could see the worry and concern in his face, knowing that no one else would notice and her heart broke at the sight of him. Meredith was so engrossed in the TV that she never noticed Mark stood in the doorway watching her closely.

Meredith just couldn't take her eyes of him, she had spent the last week, crying, hiding away in her study, but what she couldn't get out of her head was the look of glee on Mark's face, like he had won something, right now she had never hated anyone has much has she hated Mark.

"Meredith" she quickly looked at him.

"Yes, Mark"

"Isn't there a party at Susanna tonight?"

"Yeah" she answered sombrely.

"Do you want to go?" Meredith looked at him like he had two heads. "Well do you?"

"I would"

"Go and get yourself ready, I'll ring Susanna and tell her you are coming" Meredith walked across the room, and has she walked passed him, he grabbed her arm. "Meredith"

"Yeah"

"Cheer up, I love you" he said.

"I love you too" Meredith says quietly. Mark leant down and kissed her and for the first time, she realises how different his kisses are to Derek's which are so gentle, caring and loving and Mark, are rough and possessive.

An hour later, Meredith came downstairs, wearing a white Grecian dress, and her hair in soft waves, she waited for Mark to come out of the study; and he was dressed in a suit.

"Are you coming with me?" Meredith asked him, praying that he wasn't, she really didn't want to deal with him tonight.

"No, I have a meeting with clients, and I didn't want you here on your own. You ready to go" Meredith nodded her head, and followed him out into the cool New York night. When they got to Susanna brownstone, Mark escorted her to the door and he gave her cell phone, as he knocked on the door, he whispered in her ear.

"I call you when I am on my way to pick you up" Meredith nodded has Susanna came and greeted her.

"Meredith, you look beautiful, as always" she greeted her. "Hello Mark"

"Susanna...Meredith, have fun tonight" he said before disappearing back into the taxi waiting for him.

"Come in Meredith" Susanna says placing an arm around her, has she closes the door behind him. Susanna takes her wrap off her. "Meredith, are you alright?" Meredith nodded.

"I am sorry about not being in work this week"

"Meredith don't worry about it, I gathered Mark wouldn't let you out of his sight"

"I was shocked when he asked me if I wanted to come tonight. I think it was so I couldn't ring Derek" Susanna nodded leading her into the kitchen to get her a drink, Meredith didn't notice the dark-haired man watching her, nodding at something that his date was whispering in his ear.

Derek watched has Meredith walked into Susanna looking so beautiful, he could see the sadness etched on her beautiful face, he couldn't take his eyes of her. He had hoped to see her on this trip but he didn't know where she lived and Susanna had told him that she hadn't been in work since returning from Seattle. He felt his sister Lacey standing next to him, he finally tore his eyes away from Meredith and she whispered in his ear.

"Is that her, Derek?" she asked him, he simply nodded watching her disappear into the kitchen with Susanna, knowing that he needed see her alone, he followed them into the kitchen, leaving Lacey talking to the couple that they were previously talking too.

Susanna handed Meredith a glass of white wine and looked at her, with concern, Meredith had to look away anywhere. She couldn't handle the look of pity; it was then that she heard his voice.

"Meredith" he said gently. Meredith felt at breathe hitch in her throat, but she couldn't look at him, she was so ashamed of how she left him Seattle.

Susanna excused herself, leaving the two of them alone. Derek walked towards her, not sure if she was real, she was like a vision to him. Like she had been this past week, she was in his dreams and he found himself reaching out to touch her. Meredith could feel herself weaken at the knees, grateful that she was holding on to the kitchen island. She turned to face him, taking him in, and then he was holding her and she was in his arms, where she felt safe. She could let herself go and found herself crying in his arms. Derek held her close to him and breathed her in, for the first time in a week he felt alive.

"I am so sorry Derek; I didn't mean to ruin your shirt"

"It's okay, love. I am staying here, so can go up and change" he told her; looking down at Meredith and giving her a smile. "I've missed you"

"I've miss you too. I am so sorry for leaving like that"

"Mer, don't...I just want to know that you are alright?"

"I've been better, but he hasn't hurt me, if that what you mean. You knew didn't you?" Derek nods.

Meredith looked at him and getting herself lost in the eyes of the man she was in love with, they had only spent 8 days together, but she knew that he was what she wanted, even if she couldn't have him. Derek lips touched her gently at first; she could tell that he was hesitant. Meredith parted her mouth, allowing his tongue to delve into her mouth. God, she had missed his kisses. She deepened the kiss and found herself clinging to him has their tongues continued to explore each other mouths and for a moment in time, Meredith felt home. She felt safe and only stopping their kiss when they needed to come up for air. They are stood here unable to look away from each other, until they hear someone clearing their throat behind them.

"Derek, Dinner almost ready, Susanna told me to come and get the two of you"

"Lacey we are coming" he says not taking his eyes of Meredith.

"Oh my god...I am sorry...your date must" Meredith panics, trying to get out of Derek's embrace, Derek notes the look of jealously flash in her eyes, he chuckles to himself, which stops Meredith dead in her tracks.

"What is so funny?" Meredith demands standing with her hands on her hips.

"You're jealous" he says

"I don't get jealous" she snaps at him, Derek notes how adorable she looks standing there, that he quickly closes the gap between them and kisses her again and she once again melts into his embrace. "Okay maybe I am, I know I have no right. But I can't help it"

"I assure you, Meredith you have nothing to be jealous of, you are the woman I want Meredith and Lacey is my sister"

"Your sis...sister oh god, she must hate me" Meredith says starting to freak out.

"Meredith, no need to freak out, Lacey will love you. Now, we need to go and sit down and I need to change my shirt"

"Of course, I must look terrible"

"You look beautiful to me"

"Is my brother trying to charm you?" they hear Lacey saying from behind them. Derek turned to look at his sister.

"Lacey, this is Meredith. Meredith, my sister Lacey"

"Meredith is it so great to meet you"

"Lacey would you mind taking Meredith through and I'll be back down, I just need to change my shirt"

"Of course I can" she says, taking taking Meredith arm. "Don't worry I don't bite" she tells Meredith who giggles. Derek watches them leave the room and he knows that they will get on really well after tonight. He wants them to be friends so he has someone to keep an eye of Meredith, when he returns to Seattle, so he knows that she is safe.


	10. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

**This is an adult update and contains marital rape warning. I have included it within this story because unfortunately it does happen and it is not at all graphic. So please DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE UNDER 18 OR HAVE A SENSITVE PREPOSITION.**

A few months had passed since Meredith had last seen Derek at Susanna's dinner party. Mark had been leaving Meredith alone in the house; and been picking her up from work. She was back in Seattle for foundation business with Dr Webber and Mark had insisted on going with her, she knew that there was no way he would let her go alone; especially has Seattle was the city she ran too. Being in the same city as Derek was painful; she wished that she could find away to see him, but Mark wouldn't leave her side. She saw him in the distance at the hospital but luckily she didn't bump into him.

Meredith had managed to convince Mark to let her to go to Joe's so that she could see Cristina, she wasn't thrilled that he had insisted on going with her, but she knew not to argue with him. She was happy to see Cristina, to spend some time with her, she missed the days in college when they used to spend all night drinking tequila and picking up random men, maybe not the random men so much but her freedom. Despite the fact that Mark was there watching her every move, she was able to block him out, that was until Derek walked in the bar, their eyes met, just briefly and she felt Mark move closer to her, like he knew, putting his arm around her, acting all attentive has Derek walked up the bar. Derek greeted Cristina, and she knew he was doing it to protect her but it hurt that he didn't even so much has look at her, but she knew that it was her own doing.

It wasn't until she came out of the toilets; and Derek had cornered her, pulling her out the back of Joe's with him and seeing him for the first time in months, she could feel the tears. She never let herself miss him, she couldn't it was too dangerous but she knew that she did. Derek pulled her into a hug which Meredith briefly allowed herself to melt into his arms has he held her, she had missed him so much, much more than what she would admit it.

"Meredith" Derek said in his broken voice.

"Derek I am so sorry" Meredith said, not able to look at him.

"Just tell me that you are alright?" he pleaded with her, not even having his sister watching over her, and he was pleased that Meredith and Lacey had become friends, could ease his worry for her over the past couple of months.

"I am fine" Meredith told him, not able to look at him in the eye.

"Mer, tell me and make me believe it" he says making her look at him, the tears welled in her eyes, looking at him. She could hide the bruises, and bury the pain, but it reflected in her eyes.

"Derek, I missed you so much"

"You know I leave for Africa in a month, I still want you to come with me, Mer"

"Derek I can't, there is no way he will let me go" Meredith said sadly, wanting so badly to go with him.

"What happened to the Meredith who fought like hell for her career?"

"She doesn't..."

"Don't tell me, that she doesn't exist because I can see it in your eyes. I have e mailed Susanna with all my details for when I leave, I hope you will be there" Derek says before capturing her lips with his own and Meredith deepened it, forgetting for a time, where they were and their situation, before he pulled away and disappeared back into Joes.

Meredith stayed outside for a little while, knowing that he is right but there was nothing she could do about, Mark had too much power over her, and she knew it. Walking into the bar, her eyes automatically seeking out Derek and she saw someone flirting with Derek and although Derek wasn't responding to her, Meredith couldn't help feel a pang of jealously. She wanted to walk over there and kiss him, show the slut that he was her's and to keep her hands off him but she could feel Mark eyes on her, watching her and she knew that she had to be careful. Walking back over to the bar and she sat next to Cristina, wishing Mark would just leave her at the bar and go back to the hotel.

"Meredith, we are leaving now" Mark tells her.

"Fine, go back to the hotel and I'll be back later" Mark grabs her arm hard. "We are leaving NOW" he says to her firmly, Meredith holds back the tears, before saying bye to Cristina. As they walked through the bar Mark placed an arm around her shoulder possessively, Meredith threw a quick glance back at Derek, but he doesn't meet her eyes before they leave the bar.

Arriving back at their hotel and once they reached their room, Meredith went straight to the bathroom and locked the door behind her. She needed a few moments to pull herself together and some time on her own. She had left her pyjamas there that morning and brushing her teeth before coming out on the bathroom. Mark was already in bed, reading, she quietly climbed in the bed next to him, staying has far away from him as possible. He watched her and Meredith knew exactly what he is wanted.

"Not tonight, Mark, I'm tired" Mark grabbed her arms and flipped her onto her back.

"Meredith I want sex and has my wife you will give it to me" He told her, shoving her pyjamas bottom and panties down and quickly entering her.

"Mark, please don't..." she begged him, he kissed her biting down on her lip until it bled, Meredith retreated back into her memories of happier days until it was all over and he got off her.

"No wonder I have to go somewhere for it, you're useless" he spat at her. Meredith climbed out of bed and into the bathroom. Running herself a shower and she scrubbed herself until she was red raw. Collapsing in the shower has the tears started to fall, she held her knees up to her chest. She couldn't stop the tears, has she wondered what she had ever done to deserve this.


	11. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

After an hour she picked herself of the shower floor and she snuck out of the bedroom quietly grabbing her clothes, shoes, and grabbing her phone and purse before shutting the door behind her. Once she got of the elevator and out into the street; she quickly dialled a not so unfamiliar number, before cancelling it and hailing a cab. Once she arrived at her destination and she got out on the cab, she sat down on the bench overlooking the water. Her mind wandered back to that night only a couple of months ago, when she came here for the first time, it was the night before she returned to New York, the night they both admitted how they felt, even though they had only known each other for over a week. She jumped when someone put their arms around her, but she soon relaxed when she realised who it was. She let herself cry in his arms, and Derek held her letting her cry it out.

"Thank Derek, I appreciate this, you coming out at this hour" she told him.

"When you didn't answer I gathered you would come here"

"I didn't know where else to go Derek, I couldn't exactly go to your apartment, he knows where you live. Thank you"

"Mer, there is no way I won't be here for you, as long as you want me here. Did he hurt you?" Derek asked her gently.

Meredith nodded her head and buried her head in his chest, Derek wanted to kill him earlier in the evening when he saw Mark with her, he wanted to go over and punch him, for hurting her, for making her go back to him. He had been online researching information on domestic violence so he could find a way to help her, he knew at the moment all she need was for him to be there for her, and he was willing to do that, no matter how much he felt for her.

"What did he do Mer?" he asked her gently, not sure if he wanted to know or not.

"Made me feel like a whore, like he said I am" Derek lifts her head, making her look at him.

"Meredith, you are not a whore"

"Derek, you don't know me, before I met Mark, when I was doing pre-med, I used to sleep around at lot, always having one night stands. Now you will think I am a whore too" she said, refusing to meet his eyes.

"Meredith, stop. I am not Mark, I do not think you are a whore; everyone has a past even I do. I think you are warm, kind, compassionate and the most beautiful woman I have ever met" Meredith shakes her head. Derek can see what he has done to her, over the years; he kisses her gently on the lips.

"You...are...the...most beautiful...woman...in...the...world" he said between kisses, Meredith can't focus with his lips on her, she know that she is upset about something but can't remember why. Deepening the kiss and feeling the love that this man hold for her, the type of love that she has never felt before, she can only imagine what making love to him would be like. Derek pulled away first, not wanting to scare her.

"Mer, why don't you come back with me, for a while?"

"I can't, if he wake up and I am not there..." she said, Derek regonises the signs that she is starting to panic. He grabs hold of her, and hold her close to him.

"Meredith, calm down. I am not asking you to stay with me just for tonight, I mean I want you away from him" Meredith pulls away and starts walking away from him, he lets her go knowing that if he was to stop her she would run straight back to him.

"Derek, this can't be anything" Meredith says turning to look at him with tears running down her face.

"Meredith, he hurts you, he doesn't love you" Derek finds himself saying.

"Yes he does in his own way"

"Meredith, I would never hurt you like that and i love you" Meredith turns back to him, with tears in her eyes, knowing that he is right, but in the back of her head she can hear Mark voice.

"He loves me" she screams trying to convince herself, has she collapses to the ground, Derek is instantly by her side, holding her, has she screams, letting all of the pain go.

"I am so sorry Meredith, I shouldn't have said that" Derek says has he holds her, comforting her.

"I know your right, but I am scared, Derek"

"What are you scared off, my love?"

"If I leave him, he will seriously hurt me"

"Come to Africa with me, then Mer, we will be over there for a least six months, it will get you away from him, even if you not ready to leave him yet"

"Derek" Meredith says looking at him. Her eyes fall on his lips, has she leans forward and kisses him, gently on the lips before deepening it, at first Derek doesn't respond, knowing that this isn't the best idea, considering how emotional she is, until he feels his resolve crumble and he starts kissing her back. For a moment they both let themselves enjoy the moment, until Derek pulls away.

"Mer..."

"Oh god...Der, I'm sorry" Meredith goes to scramble to her feet; Derek grabs her arm, stopping her.

"Meredith...stop...its fine"

"I am going to have to go back Derek, if he finds I am gone..."

"I drive you back to the hotel, Mer"

"Derek you don't have to do that"

"Meredith is 3 o clock in the morning, how else are you going to get back"

"Okay" Meredith agrees "but drops me off down the street, please, if he sees..."

"Don't worry about me, come on" Derek puts an arm around her; leading her over to his car Meredith rests her head on his shoulder.

Derek honours Mer wishes to park down the street away from the hotel, no matter how much he doesn't want to, but he doesn't want to make it any worse for her, Meredith thanks Derek was the lift and for coming that night, and goes to climb out of the car.

"Meredith" Derek says, Meredith turns back to him.

"Yeah"

"Come to Africa with me?"

"Der..."

"Meredith I leave at the end of month, and I want you with me, just promise me, you will think about it" Meredith smiles and nods her head before shutting the door and walking down the street, Derek watches her until she is out of sight, before driving past the Archfield to see her walking in the building before he drives to the hospital.


	12. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

**Just a question, which one of my old fics would you like to see posted next of this board, if you are not sure than check out my author biography over on SL and let me know and I will look at editing at posting it.**

**Meredith finally makes her choice, is it to accompany Derek or stay with her husband? You will find out. The restaurant mention is an actual restaurant in New York City. Enjoy!**

Meredith had been back in New York for two weeks, she was still mulling over whether to go to Africa or not, she really wanted to and Susanna had been encouraging her, but she was scared about what would happen between her and Derek. She was already treading a thin line, both at home with Mark and with Derek. She had kept in touch with Derek this time, giving him her work e mail rather than her personal one; she knew that Mark checked her e-mails, even though he thought she wasn't aware. She heard a knock her office door, and saw that it was Susanna, she motioned for her to come in, has she sent back a response to the e mail that Derek sent her this morning.

"Hey Susanna" Meredith said, has she sat in the seat opposite her. "So what do I owe this pleasure?"

"How do you fancy the afternoon off? And we can go for lunch and some shopping?"

"You know what Susanna that sounds good"

"Good, I'll meet you in the lobby in an hour" Susanna said, leaving her alone in the office, she went back to the articles that she was writing before Derek messaged her. Derek was the one person that has kept her surviving the past few weeks, the constant hurling of abuse that came out of Mark's mouth was tiring, and he was now openly flaunting his relationship with Isobel, and even bringing her to the house. She couldn't take anymore of his put downs; he was making the decision too easy for her but she hadn't told Derek or Susanna yet. She was thankful that the bank keep her trust fund separate from her joint accounts with Mark, in fact Mark never knew anything about that money.

Meredith looked over at the clock and saw it was nearly one o clock, she left a quick message on Mark cell, telling him she would be out of the office for the afternoon, before grabbing her jacket and bag and turning off the computer, not before bookmarking the domestic violence site she was looking at.

They arrived at Esca, and was shown to their table, Suzanne ordered them a bottle of wine with lunch their lunch. They spent their lunch, talking about work, and about Meredith's articles and what she was planning to do next. Susanna was hoping that Meredith would agree to accompany Derek to Africa but she wasn't giving anything away and once they had finished lunch Meredith knew exactly what Susanna was about to say.

"Meredith?"

"What do you want to know Susanna?" she asked her, already seeing the questions on her face.

"I want the truth Meredith and from you I know and don't insult me and tell me that it doesn't happen"

"Suze, I..." the tears form in Meredith eyes, not really wanting to talk about it, but knowing that it is time she confided in someone other than Derek; then who else but one of closest and oldest friends.

"It's okay Mer" Susanna says gently, taking her hand.

"How long have you known?" she asks her.

"I figured it out a while ago, Meredith. I have known you since your parents were alive, I have seen how he has beat you down eredith. The Meredith I knew no long exists, she wouldn't put up with this. The only time I catch a glimpse of that Meredith was when you were around Derek, he made you happy and I can see that"

"He does, but I barely know him" she told her, not willing to share what happened between them in Seattle.

"Meredith, for someone who you barely know..."

"I rely on him too much" Meredith finished for her. Susanna nodded. "I know but I feel safe with him and I know that he won't hurt me at least not intentionally"

"You have feeling for him?" Susanna asked and Meredith couldn't meet her eyes.

"I do, but I am not ready to leave Mark just yet. I know everything is not my fault, but it still feels like it is"

"Meredith, there is help out there"

"I know, I have been looking stuff up online, but wherever I go he will find me, he found me at Derek's that time"

"I know how you feel. I am not just saying it and I don't want you get hurt like I did"

"Susanna?" she said so much in just one word.

"I am going to share something with you Meredith that nobody knows except for your parents, god rest their souls. I got married at 18, straight out of school to my high school sweetheart because I fell pregnant. I gave up my place at Columbia and right from the start he treated me has if I was his slave, telling me how I ruined his life, by getting pregnant, and constantly putting me down. When I was five months pregnant we were arguing upstairs in our house and he hit me so hard that the force of it made me lose my footing and I fell down the stairs, when I arrived at the hospital, I was told that my baby had died and because I was 23 weeks pregnant, i had to give birth to my dead baby. After that the beatings got worse, he always said it was my fault we lost the baby and I stayed with him for another two years after that; until I met your parents. Your mom operated on me and she was past the lies that I told her, Ellis was one stubborn cow, she wouldn't release me until I told her the truth, and since your father worked has a lawyer, he manage to get him convicted for assault and battery, and that broke me free, your parents gave me my life back. "

"I had no idea Susanna" Meredith said, reaching over and taking her hand.

"Like I said no one knows but you now. I am here to help you Meredith"

"I'm scared Suze...I don't want to be on my own and Mark is right that I could never survive on my own" Meredith says looking into her drink and avoiding Suzanna stares.

"That is bullshit, Meredith. He has chipped away at your confidence, he picked you up when you were at your most vulnerable, and cut you off from your friends. In the past 6 years how many times have you seen Cristina? What Once? And Why was that Because Derek was there" Meredith nods before Susanna continues knowing that she is wavering and Meredith knows it the truth. "If your parents were here, they would have had you out of this year's ago Mer, he knew you had lost your family, and that you were vulnerable, but Meredith you are the strongest person I have ever met and you are strong enough to break free from him" Suzanna told her before her phone went off. Looking at it and she saw that it was Mark and quickly answered it.

"Mark"

"Meredith, i am going away for a weeK for business"

"Is Isobel going with you?" she asked him; she was not about to turn a blind eye to it anymore, Susanna was right.

"Of course she is, she is my secretary"

"Of course that why she is going" Meredith replies.

"Do take that tone with me bitch. I will be in Seattle and you never know I might hunt down your friend"

"Don't you..."

"Well, once I let know him know what a slut you are; he won't be wanting you anymore" he spat at her. "Then you will be stuck with me forever with no one to help you, I will see you in a week" Mark said hanging up, Susanna looks at her and seeing the tears in her eyes.

"Meredith, you okay?" Meredith actually feels like a weight had been lifted off her shoulder, without knowing it he helped to make the decision for her.

"You know what Susanna, for the first time in a long time, i feel good"

"What did he say?"

"Oh the usual I'm a slut and that no-one will want me... I am leaving" Meredith said confidently, Susanna wasn't sure that she heard her right.

"Meredith?"

"You heard me. I will be going to Africa, I can't stay here and hopefully by the time I get back, Mark should have calmed down enough to talk about a divorce"

"Mer, running off to Africa isn't the answer" Susanna said, wanting to make sure that she is making the right decision, she don't want to see her or Derek get hurt.

"You know it might just be, he still has some power over me Susanna, and if i stay he will just convince me to go back. Derek wants me to go, you want me to go and i want to go, like you said it would do me good"

"As long has you are sure?"

"I am Susanna" Meredith said smiling, Susanna sees that sparkle returning in her eyes.

"What do you say about going shopping Mer?"

"Sounds good, I will need to buy more suitable clothes for Africa and of course tell Derek" Meredith says has Susanna pays the bill and they walk out into the New York sunshine.


	13. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

Meredith arrived home later that night having done a lot of shopping, it was the first time she had a shopping day in a long time. At least she wouldn't have to hide any of this from Mark, ordering herself a pizza before pulling the wine out of the fridge and pouring herself a glass. Before she walked upstairs into the bedroom that she shared with Mark; looking around the room and for the first time, she realised that this wasn't her home. Walking through the house and looking around there was nothing in this house that belonged to her, there for no pictures of her except for their wedding photo; a part from that she was like a ghost in her own house.

She walked into her office, even this room, her own private room had nothing in that was her, she realised much Mark took away everything even her past away from her. She walked over to the bookcase, and pushing it, until she saw her little private cupboard that held all her photos. Has she pulled them out, and opened the box, the door bell went, she got up, walked down the stairs grabbing her purse to pay the pizza man, and opened the door.

"Hi, Meredith" Meredith stood there in shock at the sight of the person stood in her doorway.

"Well, aren't you going to let me in?" Derek asked her.

"Of course" Meredith spluttered; stepping back and letting him in. Closing the door behind her, she found hersrlf in his arms, and his mouth of her's. The kiss started off passionately before going into a slow kiss, god she had missed those lips.

"When Mark due back?" he asked her, when he pulled away, but rested his forehead against hers.

"Not until Sunday" she told him ; Derek recaptured her mouth with his. Meredith felt herself melt into his arms, and let his tongue explore her mouth, and feeling before pulling away from each other breathlessly.

"What are you doing here, Derek?"

"Well, I left Seattle a couple of days earlier than planned, because I have meeting with a representative of MSF here in New York. And since Mark was away thought I would come to see you"

"What if Mark hadn't left and he answered the door?"

"Then, I would have said that I had the wrong address. If you want me to go, I will" Derek said going to pick up his bag, Meredith felt a wave of panic overcome her.

"No, I don't want you to go. I have a spare room, and you can stay there. That is if you want too"

"I would like that" Derek smiles. The doorbell went and Meredith throws him a smile, before paying for the pizza.

"Well, i suppose i should show you to the spare room" she said placing her purse with the pizza on the table in the hallway.

"Mer, you should have dinner first"

"Suddenly I am not hungry" Meredith said holding out her hand, which he takes, grabbing his bag. Showing Derek the guest room, she left him alone when the phone rang. From the cold tone of Meredith voice, and he was shocked to hear how cold it was; he knew exactly who it was. Her voice was colder than he had ever known. When he heard the phone go down, he made his way downstairs and found her standing in the living room, staring into space.

"Meredith" he said quietly, and has his fingers brushes her hand; she flinches and jumps away from him.

"Mer, I am not going to hurt you" Derek said reassuring her.

"I know that, Derek, I'm sorry" Mer says quietly, looking down at her feet. Turning to face him, she lifts her head up as Derek takes a step closer to her, she is looking him directly in the eyes and has they gaze into each other eyes, they finds themselves getting lost in them. Neither of them realising what was happening until their lips met, Meredith pulls Derek closer to her, entangling her fingers in his hair, pulling him closer to her, until their bodies are touching, all the pent up passion quickly boiling to the surface, Derek picks Meredith up, who wraps her legs around his waist, has their tongues explores each other mouths, until they come up for air.

"Mer, I think we should stop" Derek says breathlessly.

"Derek, I want you" she tells him, her hands pulling his shirt out of his jeans that he was wearing.

"Mer, I love you, you know that, but I don't want to do anything that could get you hurt" Derek tells her, placing a small kiss on the tip of her nose. Meredith unwraps her legs from Derek's waist, trying to push him away and Derek knows to let her go.

"Derek, maybe you should stay at a hotel" Meredith says silently.

"Don't push me away Meredith" Derek pleaded with her.

"You don't want me" Meredith says so sadly that it breaks Derek's heart, walking over to where she is standing and so he is standing right behind her.

"Meredith, of course I want you" he told her, intertwining his fingers with her's "I have never wanted someone as badly as I want you Meredith, but you are married to a bully and I am not going to risk him hurting you. If something happened to you when I was away because of me, I couldn't live with myself" he told her, turning her to face him.

"He won't"

"You don't know that Mer" Derek says quietly to find Meredith smiling at him.

"I do, Derek, because I won't be here" she told him.

"What? Where will you be?"

"With you" Meredith tells him. Derek looks at her with a look of confusion at first, until he realised what she meant.

"You coming with me?" he asked; sounding surprised

"I am" Derek pulls Meredith into his arms and kisses her.

"God, I love you Meredith. Are you sure about this?" he asked when he pulled away.

"Derek I have never been more sure in all my life. I want to share this with you"

"And I want to share it with you"

"I love you, Derek" Meredith tells him, capturing his lips with her own. Knowing that she made the right decision to accompany Derek to Africa and that she wouldn't regret it.


	14. Chapter 16

**Chapter 15**

Two days later, Meredith and Derek are stood at the departure gate waiting to board their flight to Paris. Derek stood watching Meredith with a hint of amusement, has she was pacing up and down almost bouncing, he could tell how excited she was . Meredith had never felt freer, she looked down at her left hand, and her bare wedding finger, she felt like a huge weight had been lifted, Derek took her hand, has their flight was announced as they boarded, and was shown to their seats in first class. Meredith had never flown first class before but Derek was used to it. As they took off, Meredith rested her head on his chest, and Derek had his arm wrapped around her and Meredith thought about how wonderful the past two days had been, spending it with Derek.

Being with Derek made her realise how empty her life was with Mark, they went out to Central Park, out for lunch and dinner and even took in a show, Meredith couldn't remember the last time she had so much fun. Derek helped her to move what little stuff she had out of the house, and luckily Susanna let her use her attic has storage place. Meredith fell asleep for the first few hours on the flight, she had never felt so comfortable has she had been the last two nights, sleeping in Derek's arms. She stirred in his arms, Derek gently kisses her head.

"Hello, sleepy head"

"Hmmm, how long was I out for?" Mer asked has she rubbed her eyes.

"About four hours, they will be bringing lunch out soon"

"Good, I am hungry" Mer stated

"I had never seen someone eat has much has you" Derek says with a smirk on his face, has Meredith hit him on the leg. Derek laughs, kissing her lightly on the lips. "How are you doing, Meredith?" he asked, making sure that she was happy with the choice she made, knowing that once they left Paris there would be no going back for either of them.

"I have never felt better in my life, Derek" Mer said, squeezing his hand.

"Good"

"So, where are we going first, after Paris?" she asked him

"We spend two days in Paris before flying to Geneva and after one night in Geneva, we will be spending a month in the Republic of Congo, helping out with the cholera epidemic. We will be stay with one of the Red Cross camps, in the Bouenza region of the country"

"Okay" Mer says not looking up from her food

"Mer, did you get all your jabs?" he asked her.

"Yes, I got them yesterday morning while you were at your meeting and my malaria tablets are in my hand luggage" Mer rolled her eyes, not used to anyone wanting to take care of her.

"I just don't want you getting ill" Derek said, caressing her cheek, has the hostess brought their food.

"I won't, I promise" she said tucking back into her food, Derek chuckled to himself, he wasn't feeling hungry. So he decided to look over his paperwork, making sure he had all the right paperwork in front of him for the fiftieth time since he left Seattle. He knew that it was too late anyway if he had forgotten anything, before he pulling out a worn copy of The Sun Also Rises. He smiled as he looked over to Meredith, still eating before turning back to his book, and nodding off.

Derek awoke to find they have were about to start their final descent into Paris, and looking over at Meredith who was reading his book, he watched her for few moments, the way she bit her lip has she concentrated, he had never seen her do it before. He found it cute and he could feel his pants tighten has he watched her, as her hand ran through her hair. Derek watched her a little longer until his eyes clashes with her's.

"You watching me" she asked him, looking him straight in the eye.

"I am, I can't keep my eyes of you, I still can't believe you are here, I feel like this is a dream and I am going to wake up from it any moment, and you will be back in New York with him" he told her, reaching over and grabbing her hand.

"Derek I promise you this isn't a dream, there is nowhere else I would rather be; than here with you" Meredith says taking his hand and reaching over and kissing him gently on the lips beforelightly before pulling away, and the pilot announced that they were landing.

The walk toward customs at Charles de Guille airport was slowly because Derek found that he couldn't keep his hands off Meredith. Walking out into the Paris sunshine towards the car that Derek hired for their duration of their stay in Paris, Meredith was surprised when the drivers pulled up outside the Ritz, the same hotel where they first met. Meredith looked at him with questioning eyes; but he didn't meet them. Derek knew he would be trouble when they pulled up to the hotel; but he wanted to surprise her and spoil her, he quickly glanced over to Meredith; before she met his eyes and asked him.

"The Ritz?"

"Yep, I always stay here when I am in Paris. Not to mention it where we first met" he told her, grabbing her hand and bringing it up to his lips

"I remember" Mer says smiling Derek was happy that she didn't fight him on this and Meredith followed Derek into the Ritz. Checking them in and he had booked them into adjoining rooms, still aware of how fragile Meredith was, even if she didn't show it. The bellboy showed them to Meredith room first before showing Derek to his.

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Once Derek was gone, Meredith couldn't help but feel a little disappointed, a part of her had hoped that Derek had booked them in to one room, but she knew that Derek was too much of a gentleman to assume that she would sleep with him. Looking around her suite, which was absolutely beautiful and she thought back to the room she had when she was here for the conference; which was gorgeous but this was even more so. Walking toward the bathroom when she heard a knock on the door adjoining her room to what she guessed was the next suite, she was confused to who it could be, until she opened the door to see Derek standing there.

"I forgot to tell you the rooms are adjoining" he said with a grin on his face.

"You ass" Meredith said to him, walking away from him. Derek follows her in, watching her as she walks away from him, he can't help but look at her ass, in her tight jeans, and he runs his fingers though his hair, he can feel himself getting aroused, remembering how her body felt against his, he never noticed Meredith watching him, has he struggled to control himself.

"Derek"

"Yeah" he answered her, closing his eyes.

"You alright?" Mer asked, Derek opened his eyes to find himself looking into her dark green eyes, the same eyes that he noticed the other night.

"I am fine, Mer" he said looking down at her lips, wanting to taste her again, the memory of holding her, and how she felt pressed up again him. He walked away from her, knowing that if he stayed her any longer, he wouldn't be able to control himself.

"I have booked us a table at La Tour d'Argent, I am taking you for dinner, if you want to?"

"Of course I want to Derek"

"I'll meet you in the bar, about 8" Derek said, not looking at her, until he felt her right behind him, grabbing his hand, and standing in front of him.

"Why can't you look at me?" Meredith says gently running the tips of her fingers over his ever growing erection.

"Mer..." he groaned, has Meredith kissed him lightly on the lips, has soon has their lips make contact; Derek pushes her up against the wall, and he deepens the kiss. Meredith hand slips underneath his shirt, over his chest, has his hand cupped her breasts, through the top she was wearing.

"Derek" Mer moans into his mouth, which brings Derek to his senses and he pulls away from her but still pining her up against the wall.

"Mer..." Derek says looking down at her swollen lips that give him so much pleasure.

"Derek...don't" Mer pleads with him, seeing in his eyes what he was about to say.

"I don't want to take advantage, Mer" he tells her, his eyes pleading with her to let this go but she can't, she wants this so much.

"How is it taking advantage when I want this just has much as you do" she told him, still holding him, she was not willing to let go just yet.

"Mer..."

"Derek, I love you, just has much as you love me, I don't know why you do but I want you"

"I love you because you are beautiful and strong" Mer shakes her head. "Meredith you are so incredibly strong, and you can't even see it, you have survive the unimaginable, and it that strength that made me fall in love with you" Derek kissed her again; this time pouring all the love that he feels for her, into that one kiss.

"I don't want to do this like this Mer, I want to show you how special you are, so tonight we will go out for dinner and see where we go from there, okay?" Derek says smiling at her; Meredith nods her head, knowing that Derek wouldn't do anything more before they went out. They kissed one more time before Derek left her suite and walks into his own.


	15. Chapter 17

**Chapter 16**

Meredith climbed out of the huge marble bath and looking in the full length mirror that adorned the bathroom. She checked her body for any signs of bruising, knowing that they should have healed by now. Tonight she had every intention of getting Derek in that bed with her. Ever since that kiss at her house, she wanted Derek Shepherd in the most intimate way. The midnight blue dress that she was wearing was backless; and making sure her hair was done in loose curls; she hadn't dressed up like this in a long time, she needed to knock Derek's socks off tonight.

She was looking forward to their date this evening but another part of her wanted to grab him; she wanted to feel him inside of her, she was soaking wet just thinking about the kiss they shared earlier. Meredith had just fixed the last of her makeup when there was a knock at the door, glancing over at the clock she noticed it said 8 pm and she quickly grabbed her bag and wrap off the side before opening the door.

"What are you doing here?..."

MDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMDMD

Derek was sat on the bed in this suite, fiddling with the two ties that were in his hand; it took all his strength not to walk across his room open the adjoining doors and take her there and then. He couldn't keep turning her down and saying no to her, it was killing him but he wanted to show her that he was nothing like Mark. Once he decided on. Glancing over at the clock which said 7.55 pm; he could hear her bustling around in her room, Derek smiled to himself. He waited a further five minutes before leaving his suite; and rather than meeting Meredith in the bar like he said, h found himself knocking on the door to her suite.

When Meredith answered the door, Derek had never seen someone look so beautiful; she was stunning in the dress that accentuated her figure, and showed off the legs he loved so much.

"What are you doing here? You are suppose to meet me in the bar"

"I know, but I couldn't wait" Derek smiled at her. "You look gorgeous, Meredith" Derek said leaning forward and giving Mer a kiss on the cheek. "You ready to go?"

"I am" Meredith smiled before she replied to him and linking her arm in Derek's as she closed the door behind her.

Arriving at the restaurant, they were shown to their own private booth; Derek couldn't help but notice that some of the men were staring at Meredith as she walked past them. He pulled her closer to him, showing everyone that she was with him. As the maitre'd showed them there table; Derek pulled out the chair for Meredith to sit down in and give her a quick kiss on the forehead before he sat opposite her. Derek ordered them a bottle of champagne for them.

"Champagne, Derek?"

"We have something to celebrate"

"We do, do we?"

"Of course, you are here with me" Derek said taking her hand in his.

Meredith simply smiled at him, and the waiter brought over the champagne. Meredith looked through the menu, thankful that the menu was in English. She could when her parents were alive speak French in fact she was fluent in French, but since their deaths she had no reason to speak it. Derek watched her closely, and noticed a look of sadness that quickly flashed in her eyes, and then it was gone, has quick has it appeared.

"Are you alright, Mer?" Derek asked with a look of concern.

"Yeah sorry I was just thinking about my parents" she said squeezing his hand over the table.

"Do you miss them?"

"I do...very much. I would have never gotten involved with Mark, if they were still alive. I would have stayed on at Dartmouth and went into med school" Meredith gave him a weak smile.

"What made you change your mind and leave after pre-med?"

"After they died, I realised that I was only going to med school, because that was what they wanted for me, you know who my mom is" Derek nodded. "My dad Thatcher, was the CEO of a major medical research company, which got sold off after they died. I was 19 years old when they died and I had no interest in the company. My father business partner bought my dad share of the company, which set me for life especially combined with my trust fund and inheritance"

"I take it Mark knew all this"

"No, he doesn't. Obviously he knows about the foundation and the money that is entrusted in there, including my inheritance, but he doesn't know about my trust fund. My parent's lawyers were asked by my parents to release it to me when I was 25, but there was a clause. If the lawyer's thought that there was a reason why I shouldn't be allowed it all, then they could refuse to release it to me. I know our lawyers didn't like Mark so they only agreed to let me have 3000 dollars a months."

"I think that was a good thing"

"It was, I never need that money. I earn good money has a journalist so it is like pocket money for me, and it let me go on this trip with you and it allows me to have some freedom from Mark"

"Well I am glad about that" Derek told her.

"Me too" she said.

Derek leant over the table and kissed her, has the waiter came over and took their order, once the waiter had gone; Meredith excused herself and went to the bathroom. She refreshed her makeup and taking a quick look at herself in the mirror. She had no idea what Derek saw in her, but she isn't about to deny how he makes her feel. Walking back out and rejoining Derek at their table, just has the waiter brought out their food.

They found themselves making small talk throughout their meal and stealing little glances at each other. They declined dessert, knowing that they both just wanted to get to get back to the hotel, they knew what was going to happen this evening, and either of them wanted to fight it any more. It had been 6 months since they first met and 6 months of denial for them both, Derek paid the bill and caught the next cab back to their hotel.

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	16. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

The next morning Meredith woke up to an empty bed, remembering the wonderful things that Derek had done to her and then how she freaked out. She moaned and hid her head in the pillows in embarrassment of her tears from the night before.

Derek walked out of the en-suite, with just a towel wrapped around his waist, his dark curls dripping wet from the shower and leant over to Meredith, dropping a kiss her on her exposed shoulder.

"Good morning" he said cheerfully.

Meredith once again groaned into her pillow; Derek smiled knowing that she was embarrassed about the night before.

"Meredith, look at me?" Derek asked. Shaking her head which caused Derek to laugh slightly he snaked his arm underneath the cover and rolled her gently onto her back. Meredith eyes were squeezed shut and Derek tickled her, causing Meredith quickly open her eyes.

"Now that better, Ms Grey, I can now see your beautiful eyes" he said pressing a kiss to her forehead.

"Derek?" she said quietly.

"Yes Meredith"

"Sorry..." Derek kisses her quickly to shut her up.

"Meredith I told you last night, no apologises. You did nothing wrong." Derek kissed her again. "I have ordered us room service, we don't have to check out until 1pm and our flight to Geneva is at 3. We should arrive in the Congo about 7pm, so I suggest you eat lots, because there won't be much food when we get there" he said, as there was a knock at the door. Derek let in room service instructing them to leave it in the living area, whilst he rejoined Meredith in the bedroom, where she had stayed waiting for him.

"Breakfast is here" Derek said walking into the room, quickly stopping when he sees Meredith stood in front of him, naked. Derek runs his gaze over her body and his pants tighten. Looking up his blue met her green, but her's was darkened in desire, unaware that his eyes were exactly the same. Walking towards him, she shoving him onto the bed.

"Meredith?"

"Derek I want to show you how much you mean to me"

"I already know Mer, I want you to feel comfortable and if that means I have to wait I will"

"Really?" she asked, not believing him for a moment until she looked him in the eye and she nodded.

"Yes, Meredith I mean it, now go and have some breakfast. While I go back to my room and shower and I will meet you in an hour in the lobby" Derek said standing up and kissing her, before leaving her room and returning to his own.

He got himself dressed and checked his phone, noticing that he had several voicemails on it, one from Richard, asking him to call him has soon has he can, but he knows that their other calls he need to make first. He confirmed their flight to Geneva, as well as leaving a message for his mom letting her know that he had arrived in Paris safely. Derek had just gotten off the phone to his mom, when his cell went again and it was Richard.

"Hello Richard"

"Hey Derek, how is Paris?"

"Beautiful as always. What can I do for you?"

"I just want to make sure my neurosurgeon arrived safely so I wouldn't have to replace you permanently"

"Is that why? Not because we are friends Richard"

"Well, that too, Derek"

"Richard, we are fine and..." Richard interrupted him.

"We?" he asked curiously trying to wreck his brain if Derek said that anyone was going with him but drawing a blank.

"Yes Richard, we, as in Meredith and I"

"Meredith?...You mean Meredith Grey, well that would explain why was Mark here"

"What?" he asked afraid that Richard had given too much away.

"Well, I had Mark, Meredith husband here demanding to see you"

"Oh god, that was quick"

"Does he know that she is with you?"

"Of course not, do you really think he would have let her go"

"No" Richard put simply. "What do you want to me to tell him?"

"The truth, just say I am not in the country for the next year. Just don't say anything about Meredith, after tomorrow he won't be able to find us."

"Derek, I am not that stupid"

"I am sorry chief; I didn't mean it like that"

"Derek stop, just look after her and keep her safe"

"I promise Richard, I couldn't live with myself if i didn't"

"Bye Derek" with that Richard hung up. Derek wasn't sure whether to tell her or not, but in the end the situation was taken out of his hands.

"Derek" he heard Meredith calling his name. Turning to look at her and he could see the look of fear etched across her features, tearing his heart in two, he knew that she had overheard her conservation with Richard. He held his arms out to her and she walked into his embrace, letting him hold her. Derek guided Meredith over to the bed and sitting down next to her. He kept his arm around her shoulders holding her close to him and took her hand with his free hand.

"Don't be scared my love, he will not find us"

"You don't know him, he will" she insisted and Derek silenced her with a kiss trying to reassure her.

"Meredith from tomorrow we will be unreachable for the next twelve months and even if he did find us. I will not let you go back to him, you understand me, Meredith. I can't imagine my life without you in it and I will fight like hell to keep you by my side that I promise you" Derek told her, making sure that she believed him. Meredith nodded, before meeting his eyes and smiling.

"I love you, Derek Shepherd"

"I love you too Meredith Grey" Derek said, his lips pressing against her, as he gently explored her mouth.


	17. Chapter 19

**Rated M. Enjoy!**

**They were walking along Champs Elysees, holding hands, Meredith was feeling relaxed for the first time in a long time, her hand fitting so well in his, leaving her with the feeling of being safe, and loved for the first time in a long time. Derek was taking her to a small cafe along the Champ Elysees, Derek had never shared the place with anyone it was just full of Parisians rather than the tourists, but he wanted to share with Meredith. It was the place where he had spent so much time reading and writing some of his best articles. He had discovered it one day when he was on his gap year travel with Mark and Alex, he had come here everything he was in Paris over the past 20 years, and he loved it, it had always held a special place in his heart.**

"Bonjour, madame Marie"

"Monsieur Derek" Marie greeted him in her heavily French accent. "It has been a while"

"Two years" he turns back to Meredith. "Meredith, this is madame Marie, Marie this is my friend Meredith"

"Bonjour Madame"

"Nice to meet you, Meredith, Marie please, it is so nice to meet one of Derek friends"

"You mean he has never brought anyone else here before" Marie nodded, taking her hand in her's.

"You must be very special"

"She is" Derek said with a smile, placing his arm around her waist. Marie showed them over to their table in a private area of the cafe, both ordering coffees. Marie left them alone and Meredith took Derek's hand over the table.

"This is beautiful Derek"

"It is, and very French"

"How did you find it?"

"I found it about 20 years ago, when i was travelling, and i try to come back here every time i am here in Paris, but it has been a few years" Derek says has Marie bring over the coffee.

"Are you having your usual Derek?"

"I am, Meredith?"

"Can i just have the cheeseburgers and fries please?"

"oui"

------------------------------------------------------------------------

After lunch, they decide to head back to the hotel and get a nap before their flight that evening. Once they arrived on their floor, Derek gave Meredith a kiss outside the suite door, before gently caressing her cheek, their lips still only centimetres apart.

"I will see you in a couple of hours Mer"

"Aren't you only to stay with me?"

"I have some work to do, go and get some sleep, love, you are going to need it" Derek kissed her one more time, before watching her enter her suite and close her door, before going into his own suite. Derek grabbed his laptop, quickly checking his email, he had an email from Addison, and so he quickly emailed her back, before shutting down his laptop and getting into bed, in just his boxers. He was just drifting off when he heard her.

"Derek" Meredith said gently, hoping that he was still awake.

"What wrong Mer?" Derek said sitting up.

"I couldn't sleep, can i sleep with you please" Meredith said shyly.

"Of course you can" Derek said, trying to hide the smile, he laid down, has she climbed into the bed beside side, and bigger smile came on when Meredith snuggled into him, resting her head on his chest and placing her arm over him, has Derek wrapped his arms around her, as they slowly drifted off together.

Several hours later Derek woke up to find Meredith watching him, he smiled at her, pulled her close to him, and kissed her gently.

"Hey, you watching me sleep?"

"I am just thinking what i have a done to deserve you"

"Because you deserve some happiness Mer"

"I am not sure, about that"

"Meredith, everyone deserves to be happy especially you" Meredith smiles, knowing not to disagree with him, but it was a nice thought anyway, she leant down kissing him, her hand finding their way down to his already raging erection, Meredith smiled at him, has she ran her hand over the top of his penis. Derek pulled away, still smiling at her.

"I better go and have a cold shower", Derek goes to move but Meredith hand on his chest stops him.

"Derek, i want you" she says still smiling at him.

"Excuse me"

"I want you to make love to me"

"Meredith, are you sure that this is what you want, first. I understand if you aren't ready?"

"Derek Sshhh, I'm ready" Derek rolls her onto her back so he is hovered above her, not wanted to crush her, he kisses her, harder than he had ever dared before, she runs her hand up and down his cock.

"You are definitely ready" Meredith giggled, Derek reaches over to side grabbing a condom, Meredith helps him roll it on, and his cock dipping into her wet core, has he went in slowly, she winced, Derek stopped.

"Meredith"

"Derek, i am fine"

"Does it hurt?"

"A little" Mer admits, Derek goes to pull out.

"Derek, don't"

"Mer i don't want to hurt you"

"Sex, always hurt me, Derek, i find it hard to relax"

"We can stop" Meredith shakes her head, and implored him silently not to stop, Derek nods, taking it even slowly until he is completely emmersed in her. Derek gently started to move inside of her, slowly, Meredith lifts her hips of the bed, meeting Derek's thrusts, Meredith bits down on her bottom lips to stop herself from calling out.

"Mer, are you sure that you aren't in too much pain, you keep biting down on your lip"

"No, i not, i just..."

"Just what?" he asks her.

"Just trying to keep quiet"

"Why?"

"Mark always said i was too loud" Mer said embarrassed, Derek gently caresses her cheek.

"Mer, you can be as loud as you want, i am not Mark"

"I know that, Derek"

"Good, so enjoy it" Mer nodded, Derek runs his fingers through her hair, kissing her has he starts to thrust inside of her again.

"Mer..."

"Derek..." Mer moans quietly, has she rose her hips again, Derek rubs her clit with his thumb, as she starts to tremble underneath him, he applies a little more pressure. Meredith closes her eyes, enjoying the sensation that was coursing through her body, some similar to how he made her feel yesterday. Meredith was so use to switching off during sex, that she fought that feeling to go numb.

"Derek..." Mer said a little louder.

"Meredith...i...can't..."

"DEREK..." Meredith screams has her walls tighten around Derek cock, Derek feels himself cumming around her.

"MEREDITH..." he screams out, he gently collapses on top of her, staying inside of her his cock still twitching inside of her.

"Wow...that was...?"Derek waits for her to finish.

"Amazing" Meredith smiles at her.

"You are so beautiful Meredith" Derek says pulling out of her, taking off the condom and tossing it into the trash can. Derek gathers her in his arms; Meredith lazily drawing circle on his chest with her finger, Derek kisses her on the head.

"Mer, we need to get up soon, we have to leave in 90 minutes"

"I know but i could stay like this forever, i feel so safe when i am with you" Meredith admitted to him.

"So could i Mer, i love you. I think we ought to take showers"

"We could take a shower together, save some time" Mer suggests.

"Do you think that is going to save time?" Derek says.

"We could try" Meredith said climbing out of the bed, and walking over to the bathroom, naked. Derek quickly climbs out of bed, and joins her.

**Next we arrive in Africa. Please Read and Review.**


	18. Chapter 20

**We have finally arrived in Africa and over the next god know how many updates, they will be visiting African countries, all diseases that will be feature have actually happened in these countries in the past, none are present cases, nut the rest is entirely fiction. Each of these updates, I have put in hours of research, and they are some of the hardest updates I have ever written. I hope you enjoy!**

Derek looked over at Meredith, has they landed in Kinshasa, the capital of Democratic Republic of Congo, Derek squeezed her hand, has the plane landed, it was a little bumpy. Once they got off the plane, and out into the hot air of the Congo. Meredith edged closer to Derek when they was greeted by members of the Red Cross team leader, with armed guards.

"Dr Shepherd, i am Nathan Taylor, head of the camp in Mouindi"

"Derek please, this is Meredith Shepherd, she is my assistant" Derek smiles over at her, using the name that was on her passport that Derek had quickly organised for her.

"Your wife?" Nathan asked, Derek nodded. "Well, firstly we have to go to the US embassy and register the two of you before we head back to the camp" Meredith says close to Derek, has they walk toward the airport with their bags, before head to the embassy. Once there they hand over their passports to the embassy, and once they had been interview they were on their way to the camp, it was a several hours drive, and knew that they wouldn't get there until after dark. Meredith soon fell asleep curled into Derek in the back of the jeep, not long after they left Kinshasa. Fortunately for them the trip was uneventful, Nathan warned Derek about how dangerous the roads can be, especially once they got further away from the capital and closer to the camp.

They finally arrived at the camp, they were shown to the sleeping quarters, which were two large tent on for the men and one for the women, Meredith couldn't help but be a little disappointed not being able to share with Derek, Derek kissed her outside of the tent, before watching her go in. Meredith looked around to find no one else in the tent sleeping even those it was like one o clock in the morning. She left her bag at the bottom of one of the beds, before walking back out, just in time for Derek to be exiting the men tent, Derek greeted her with a smile.

"Hey, i though you were going to get some sleep, i am going to have a tour of the camp, and the hospital"

"I'll come with you, if you don't mind"

"Of course i don't" Derek says, taking her hand and following Nathan around the camp. Some of the things they heard was shocking, not so much to Derek, but to Meredith she couldn't believe it, looking around the camp, at some the locals coming out of the makeshift hospital, looking so ill, it made her want to cry. Nathan showed them around the hospital, Meredith couldn't believe that something has simple of cholera could cause so much death.

"Derek, you are a neurosurgeon?"

"I am, why?"

"I have had a women bring in her child and i have reason to believe that she is suffering with a tumour but i obviously don't have the equipment here to do anything, i was wondering if you would be able to take a look at her"

"Of course i can"

"She is due back in the morning"

"Just come and find me, when she arrives" Derek notices a tired Meredith yawning next to him. "I think we should get some sleep, and i will be here for 7 o clock" Derek said before walking her over to her tent, kissing her one last time, and holding her, not wanting to leave each other, they stay with each other for has long as they could before they made their way into their separate sleeping quarters, both of them wandering how they are going to sleep without each other.

**Please Read and Review.**


	19. Chapter 21

Meredith woke up to find herself alone in the tent, she quickly got herself dressed not sure where the showers was, she surprisingly slept well, considering Derek wasn't by her side. She walked out to the humid hot day that was frequent in the Congo, she walked over to the dining hall, which was nothing more than another tent, she hoped Derek was in there, she was missing him, it was crazy to her, they had only spent four nights together, but she couldn't imagine her life without him in it. As she walked into the dining hall, but couldn't see him, she was about to turn and leave when someone stopped her.

"Excuse are you Meredith" she turned to face a small , black woman.

"I am"

"I am Miranda Bailey, an old friend of Derek's, he asked me to help you while he  
was busy. Have you eaten?"

"Not since Geneva yesterday" Meredith smiled at her.

"Well, come and sit down and grab some breakfast, Derek won't be happy if you don't look after yourself Meredith"

"He is rather overprotective" Meredith said laughing lightly.

"That he is, but he only like it because he loves you so much"

"Is it that obvious?" Meredith said has she walked up to the canteen, to get some breakfast.

"Meredith, i have known Derek since his days in med school when he was with Addison and i have never since his eyes light up the way they do when he was talking about you this morning" Miranda told her as they sat down together. Meredith never realised how hungry she was until she started eating.

Derek was woken up at 5 am that morning my Nathan, asking him to come and look at patient that just come in, has he got dressed he thought of going to get Meredith but decided to let her sleep, once he arrived at the hospital, he realised that his patient needed surgery, while they were prepping the patient, he ran into his old colleagues Miranda Bailey, after a quick conversation, to went into to surgery.

"It's a beautiful day to save lives" his mantra when entering the OR, he hated doing surgery blind, but in these situations he had no choice, most of the makeshift hospitals had no x-ray equipment.

Derek had always felt a rush when doing these types of surgeries, getting to save lives of people who would usually be left to die, because no help was available to them. It was only a case of what to him was a simple gunshot wound is a matter of life and death to these people. Once he had finished and checked the patient over, he decided to go and have some breakfast, hoping Meredith was up, he had missed her so much the night before.

Derek walked into the dining tent, and scanned the room, looking for Meredith, and he heard her giggle, he saw her sitting with Miranda Bailey, he smiled watching her so care free for once, and he loved watching her, he slowly walked over to them, abd sitting down next to her, he leant over and kissed her.

"I missed you last night" he whispered in her ear.

"I missed you too. How did your surgery goes this morning?"

"It went well, barring any complications he should make a full recovery"

"Good" she smiled at him.

"Have you eaten, Mer?"

"Yes I have, I suggest you do too, and get some sleep you look tired, Derek" Meredith said lovingly.

"Have you showered yet?"

"Nope, I wasn't sure where they were" Mer admitted quietly.

"After I've eaten we can have a shower together"

"I think I might like that"

"I know I will" Derek says, kissing her lightly and getting up for some food. Has Derek walks away Mer notices that Miranda is watching her.

"It is nice to see him so happy Meredith, he has always put his career before anything else, but i think he was looking for the right person, and i think he has found it in you"

"I don't know about that, i am so damaged Miranda"

"He loves you, and i can see that you love him, trust be it will all work out for the best"

"I hope so" Miranda gives her a smile and saw Derek returning from the canteen , he noticed Miranda.

"Hey Miranda"

"So you noticed me then" Miranda quip back .

"Sorry"

"I will let you off this time Derek, it is nice to see you so happy for once Derek"

"I was happy" he stated, Bailey gave him her sure you were look.

"Derek if you must lie to yourself than fine but we both know that wasn't true"

"Has you know, to get to the top of your game sometimes you have to make sacrifices, you know that"

"Unfortunately i why do you think i am here, Derek and not at home with Tucker; he left me"

"Miranda i am so sorry"

"I am doing fine, Derek, i miss him, but i am here, working with the Red Cross, hopefully making a difference in these people's lives, and for the first time in years i actually feel like i belong somewhere"

"I am glad Miranda" Derek smiled at her.

"Well, i have to get back to the clinic, so hopefully catch up properly tonight i finish at 7" Miranda says before leaving them alone at the table. Derek turns to Meredith while a grin on his face.

"Are you ready for this shower?"

"More than you know" Meredith told him, leaning in and kissing him.

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	20. Chapter 22

Meredith and Derek had been in the Congo for two weeks now, luckily there had only been minor cases of cholera, but the day before there was news of a new outbreak in the Brazzaville region, and Derek was one of the doctors who was going with the rest of the medical team, and Meredith wasn't happy about it, she knew that was why they were here, but she felt useless hanging around the camp. They were having some alone time, watching over the river, Meredith had her head against Derek's chest, has they looked out over the horizons, Derek was worried about her, she had been so quiet, since he told her, that he was going.

"Meredith, what are you thinking?" he asked her, stroking her hair.

"I don't want you to go" Mer said honestly.

"Mer, i have too, you know that"

"Why can't i go with you" she asked sadly, not wanting to be left on her own.

"Meredith, love, we have been through this, it is too dangerous for you"

"Oh because i am a woman i have to stay behind" Meredith said, moving out of his arms, Derek couldn't stop her in case she freaked out on him. Meredith walked some distance away from him, Derek stood but stayed leaning against the tree, watching her. He could never enough of watching her.

"Mer..."

"Don't Mer me, i want to go with you" Meredith said stubbornly, Derek simply smiled at her thinking how cute she was when she was upset.

"Meredith..."

"I am going with you" she told him.

"No you are not" Derek told her firmly, Meredith quickly turned to look at him.

"Do not tell me what to do"

"I am not telling you what to do, Meredith, but i want you here in relatively safety" Derek said walking over to her, Meredith pulled away from him, and started to walk away but for once he wasn't about to let her go, he was surprised she didn't throw him a dirty look or yell at him.

"Meredith, please let not do this, i leave in a couple of hours, and i want to spend it with you"

"Then, take me with you"

"Mer, you are staying here, and that is the end of it, there is fighting in the region and i don't want you there, if i lost you Mer, i wouldn't survive, i love you so damn much" Derek said to her with tears in his eyes. "I need you here, for when i come back, i need you to hold me in your arms"

"Okay" Meredith said quietly, she wrapped her arms around his neck and kisses her deeply, it is the closest they had been since two weeks before, and they had made love in the shower. Meredith wrapped her legs, around his waist, and he carried her underneath the tree, laying her down ob the blanket he had laid for them.

Derek was laid on top of her, slightly hovering above her, so that he didn't crush her , Meredith started removing his t-shirt, has he began to undo her trousers, and he slipped two fingers inside her, has they continued to explore each other mouths, Meredith hand wrapped around his cock, Derek soon removed her hand and found his way into her hot wet core, they laid there allowing her to adjust, knowing that it still hurt her slightly, Derek could see the slight winced on her face, and he entered her, and when he stopped she lifted her hips causing him to go deeper.

"Mer..." Derek said cautiously.

"Derek, it's not too bad, it is getting easier, i promise, now make love to me" Meredith told him, Derek grinned and took her nipple through her vest top, he began to move inside of her, gently at first. Meredith ran her hands down his back as he thrusted into her.

"DEREK...PLEASE..."

"MER..." he screamed in her mouth, has they continued to explore each other mouths.

"DEREK" she screamed has she began to trembled underneath him, finally letting herself go.

"MEREDITH..." he screamed has he released into her, he stayed inside her still twitching and finally pulled out of her, and still not letting her go, holding her tightly. Meredith didn't want to leave his embrace, the embrace that made her feel safe and loved, Derek kissed her top of her head, and has he stood up, he held his hand out to her, she took it and they walked back to camp contented and happy.

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	21. Chapter 23

It had been over a week since Derek had left the camp, they were due back that day, Meredith realised that week how much she had come to rely on Derek and that scared her but she didn't want to give him up, he had given her; her life back. Bailey had kept her occupied, with patients, even allowing her to help in the operating theatre , Meredith realised how much she enjoyed it, and she hoped that Miranda would put a good word in with Derek, and that he would finally follow her to assist him. He was the only surgeon that she had ever wanted to be in the OR with, and she knew that over these next eleven months she would find a way. She had in the past week also help with the school on the camp, learning some of the local language too, but every waking hour her thoughts was constantly on Derek.

After scrubbing out she heard the trucks pulling up outside, she ran outside, and saw Derek climbing out of the truck, she literally ran to him, and jumped into his arms, kissing him, harder and more deeply than ever.

Derek had missed her so much that past week; but he knew that she was safer back at the camp but not that it stopped him from missing her, in the week he had been gone, he had missed her every night not necessarily her laying next to him, they haven't had that since Paris, but he missed knowing she was close to him, that if she needed him, he was near, and he came to realised that he couldn't live without Meredith Grey.

Has they pulled up into camp, he felt his heart soar, and when he saw her running toward him, he had never seen a more beautiful sight in his life. And holding her in his arms reminded him, how much he never wanted to let her go.

"I missed you, Der" she said kissing him.

"I missed you too, Meredith" he said, holding her close to him, so he could feel her heat underneath her clothes, his erection already standing and ready and aching to be inside her. Meredith guided Derek over towards the shower room after grabbing his bag from the jeep. Meredith didn't care who saw them, she needed to feel him inside of her. Meredith turned the shower on when they got in fully clothes; Meredith worked undoing his cargo trousers, and taking his t-shirt off over his head, has she trailed little kisses over his chest, and her hands running down his back.

Derek ran his hands over her body, reminding himself that she existed, at some points in this past week; it felt to him that Meredith was a dream just that little bit out of reach. Holding her in his arms, he knew this was the person she was suppose to be the person that he spent the rest of her life with.

Derek kissed her hard, and she planted little kisses now over his body, before taking his ready waiting cock in her month, she ran her tongue over the tip of it, before taking him fully into her mouth, Meredith swiftly ran her tongue over the length of his shaft, sucking him hard, Derek grabbed Meredith's hair has he began to twitch in her mouth, releasing into her, she sucked him dry, before standing up to meet him, and kissing him, he could taste himself on her. Derek grabbed her hair, yanking it back, exposing her neck, especially the spot that drove her wild, he sucked, and nipped on her neck, working his way over her collar bone, taking each nipple into his months, giving each one the same attention, and kissing her abdomen and down to her hot wet core, which was already on fire for me, he plunged his tongue inside of her, and sucking on her clit.

"DEREK..." She screams not caring you heard her, it wasn't long until she spilled into Derek's mouth, and he licked her clean.

"I love you, Meredith Grey"

"And i love you Derek Shepherd" Meredith replied breathlessly, kissing him, has he quickly entered her, completely filling her up, until he was still inside of her. Derek needs to remember how it felt, being buried inside of her, has he began to move, Meredith snaked her arms around his neck, has she wrapped her legs around his waist, has he thrusted into her, Meredith bit down on his shoulder, until she threw her head back in ecstasy.

"Fuck...Derek"

"Meredith...i...need...you" Derek breathlessly got out, this wasn't making love, it was fucking, and something Meredith had never done with Derek before.

"DEREK..."

"MEREDITH..." he screamed, spilling into her, has she collapsed around him, cumming together, Derek kissed her hard, before going for the next several rounds, making up for what they had missed, finally Meredith collapsed on top of Derek in the showers, exhausted, it was two in the morning, they quickly threw their clothes on, Derek led her to the men tent, sushing her has they went over to Derek's bed, and wrapped around each other, every part of their body touching, has they fall asleep in each other's arms.

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	22. Chapter 24

**Thanks to MerDerluver430 for noticing that i had posted the same chapter twice, here is the chapter that it eas suppose to be. We are now in Ethopia, I have changed this slightly than it is posted on other sight, coz it was getting too confusing so Mark Sloan, will always be prefer to as Sloan. Enjoy!**

They had arrived in Addis Ababa in Ethiopia, they had two day in the capital before being picked up to go to the camp, and they were determined to make the most of it. Derek had booked them in a hotel, giving them the chance to spend some well earned alone time together. Derek had booked them into the Hilton. Derek pulled her close to him as they walked into the hotel, and over to the check in desk.

Once they got up to their room, and closed the door, Derek pulled her close, kissing her deeply, Meredith pulled away from him, and walked over to the bed, and sat down. Derek sat next to her on the bed, taking her hand in his.

"Mer, what wrong?"

"I'm sorry, i don't know if i can do this"

"Do what, Mer?" Derek feels his heart drop, dreading what she was going to say next.

"It's silly really" she murmured, shaking her head.

"Mer...look at me" Derek says gently, Mer still refuses to look at him, Derek kneels down in front of her, her hand cupping her chin, lifting her head so she would look at him. "Mer...Please talk to me"

"I feel like i am cheating on him, Derek...how absurd is that after how he treated me"

"Meredith...listen to me...if you want me to back off i will, but listen to me, you aren't doing anything wrong, the way he treated you after all these years, don't you think you deserve some happiness after the misery he has caused you" Meredith shakes her head, knowing that she doesn't deserve to be happy.

"Derek i don't deserve it"

"Meredith, that is nonsense and you know it. Everyone deserves to me happy, trust me you do"

"Derek..."

"Meredith...i know he has damaged you a lot but let me, let me help you to heal, one day i promise you, we will look back and ever wonder why you felt this way.

"Derek, i am scared, that you will hurt me" Meredith found herself saying to him honestly.

"Meredith, i would never hurt you in anyway, especially not intentionally and not in the way that he did. I know the i love you's may not mean much at the moment, because no doubt he said that every time he hurt you, but i could never hurt you Meredith, you are my life now" Derek could again feel the anger boiling to the surface, he hoped that one day he would see Mark and do exactly what he want to do to him for hurting her in anyway. Meredith reached her hand out to his face, and gently caressed his cheek with her thumb, something that she had never dared to before, in that moment she knew exactly why she followed him this far, and why she fell in love with him, he was everything that Mark wasn't, and although sometimes she found it hard to believe that someone loved her like he did, she was also aware of how he much he did, it made her feel alive.

"I am sorry, i just..." Derek gently kisses her on the lips, a soft, loving kiss.

"Mer, if you ever feel like that again, please tell me"

"Okay" she nodded.

"We are both exhausted Mer, so let get some sleep shall we?"

"I need to shower first"

"I need to call Sloan so you go and have a shower"

"Okay" Derek holds his hand out for her, and leaves her at the bathroom door, gently kissing her, and watching her walk in and close the door. Derek sits down back on the bed, ringing Mark from the hotel phone.

"Doctor Mark Sloan's office"

""Hi Michelle its Derek Shepherd, it Mark available please"

"Hi Dr Shepherd, i will pass you through"

"Hey man, how is Africa treating you" Sloan greets him.

"You know how it is, you've done it yourself"

"Yeah but that was years ago and i haven't done it since"

"I know, but it all good"

"Are you ringing up up about what we discussed before you went away?

"I am"

"There is nothing yet Derek, but i am still in contact with my friend from the DA office, and he is looking at stuff, but as soon as i know i will find an way to let you know, Derek. How is she?"

"Holding up, i think keeping her busy has done her good, but i am a little worried about her, but i think by the end of this trip, it would have done her the world of good"

"I do know how to pick them Derek, i don't mean it horribly"

"I know that Mark, but i love her, so i really don't have any choice and i wouldn't change any of it for the world"

"Shep, i am happy for you"

"Thanks well send Addie my love, and i will ring you in around two weeks"

"Okay, take care"

"Will do bye" Derek hangs up just has Meredith comes out of the bathroom, Derek gives her a quick kiss on the top of her head, before having a shower himself. When he comes out of the shower he see Mer laid in top of the bed, asleep with the towel, wrapped around her still, he smiles to himself, taking in the beautiful sight in front of him. Derek gently unwraps the towel from her, and gently moves her under the cover, he climbs in next to her, wrapping his arms around her, Meredith snuggles into his chest, has he quickly drifts off.

**A/N What Mer's husband did to her will effect for a long time yet, it isn't something you really ever get over, I just wished we all a mcdreamy to help us get through it all. Is Derek up to something, you will find out.**


	23. Chapter 25

**Rated M, this will be the last porny update for a while. So Enjoy!**

The next morning, Meredith wakes up to an empty bed, she grabbed the robe of the back of the chair and wrapped it around herself.

"Derek" she called out walking of the bedroom, she could hear the shower being turned off, and Derek walks out fully naked, the droplets of water dripping from his body, drying his hair with a towel, Meredith stood there biting her lip, not able to take her eyes of him, she felt herself getting wet, and she looked up in to his blue eyes. She could feel herself beginning to blush, Derek took two long strides before standing right in front of her, and he removed her robe, so that she was also standing naked in front of him. Derek took a step back, and scanned her body, taking her in, Meredith began to feel self conscious and went to place her arms over her stomach, but Derek was quicker than her. Stopping her from hiding her body away from him.

"Meredith, you are beautiful" Meredith shook her head, and looked away. Derek lifted her head up and pulling her close to him, his erection making it known.

"Meredith, you...are...so...beautiful and i love you so much" Derek kisses her on the lips, down her neck, over her collarbone, quickly taking a nipple, and sucking on it, and giving the same attention to the other one.

"Derek" Meredith moans quietly, he continues to plant little kisses down over her stomach, down to her wet, waiting core, he plants little kisses and nips inside her tight, before flicking her clit with his tongue. Meredith reaches out for the table behind her to steady herself.

"Derek...Please" she begged, Derek smiled to himself, loving it when she begged him, he plunged his tongue inside of her.

"Fuck...Derek" Derek continues to plunge inside her and flicking her clit with his tongue, driving her into frenzy, Derek could feel her begin to tremble.

"DEREK..." she screamed, has she came, Derek licking her clean. Derek picked her up and carried her over to the bed.

"Now where was i" he said with his dreamy smile, he kisses her, placing his cock, at the tip of her core, and slowly entered her.

"Derek" she moaned.

"Mer, i love you" he said, moving inside of her, slowly and gently at first, but becoming more passionate. Meredith lifted her hips of the bed, causing him to go deeper inside of her.

"Fuck...Mer"

"Derek...Please" Derek hold her arms above her head, and sucking on her neck, has he continues to jump into her, working his way over her nipples.

"Oh..."

"God, Mer" Derek calls out before kissing her, running his fingers through her hair, has Meredith wrapped her arms around his neck and played with his curls, has she started to rock her hips to meet with his thrusts.

"Fuck...Mer" Derek mumbled into her mouth, has they pulled away, staring into each other's eye, both noting how they get darker, with each thrust.

"Der..."

"Yes, baby"

"Please..." she mumbled out, has she felt her orgasm beginning to build, she wrapped her legs around Derek waist, has he thrusted into her hitting her g-spot.

"DEREK..." she screams out, continuing to lift her hips.

"MER..."

"OH...GOD"

"MER...I can't...longer" Derek calls out has Mer walls collapse around him.

"DEREKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK"

"MERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR" they scream out together has they reach their orgasm together, Derek collapses on top of her, has they catch their breath, kissing gently, has Derek pulls out of her. He rolls off her, pulling her close to him, Meredith rests her head against his chest, hearing his heart beat, she can't believe how much she loves this man, she is scared off losing him, when they return to the US, knowing that there was no way that Mark would agree to a divorce. Derek could see Mer biting her lips, he had long since learnt that it meant she was deep in though.

"Mer, what is it?" he asked gently.

"Can i ask you something Derek?"

"Of course you can" Derek says kissing the top of her head, Meredith looks up at him.

"What will happen if Mark doesn't give me a divorce?"

"Is that what you have been worrying about Mer?" Meredith nods her head.

"Whatever happens Mer, i love you, and if that means we can't get married, than we can't but i know one thing, and that is that i want to spend the rest of my life with you" Meredith looked at him, with a look of panic in her eyes. "Mer, I'm sorry i didn't mean to scare you, i shouldn't have said..." Meredith silences him with a kiss.

"Derek you know i love you, but i can't think that far ahead"

"Mer, i totally understand that, you have been through a lot and i don't want to scare you, but that is a long way off, let enough what time we have alone, since this will probably be the last time for a while" Derek said with a smirk on his face, he rolled onto her back, kissed her and began to make love to her once again.

**A/N I think there is only one maybe two updates until you are caught up, and I have placed this fic on a mini hiatus, while I finished off another fic, which isn't posted over here yet.**


	24. Chapter 26

**We are now caught up to other sites, I am currently working on the next update for this story. I can't say when it will be up but hopefully soon, thanks for reading, I love you all, and your comments. Enjoy!**

They arrived at the Red Cross camp in Northern Ethiopia, this camp was very different from the one they were in the DRC, it was bigger but it coupled up as a small refugee camp, which was dealing with an outbreak of Kala Azar near the Eritrea boarder, Derek made sure Meredith knew of the disease but has she told him she had done a lot of research to see what she would possibly have to deal with. Derek also warned her of the occasional outbreak of fighting between the Ethiopians and the Eritreans and warned her to be careful if they were to go anywhere outside the camp, Derek didn't want anything to happen to her, he also warned her about the bandits that roamed the area after dark.

Once they arrived at the camp, Meredith particularly was shocked at how many people were in the camp, Derek had previously worked in the Darfur regions, so he need exactly what to expect, although this camp was on a much smaller scale, they were both aware how the disease could spread so quickly, seeing the conditions in the camp. They were taken straight to their tent, luckily for them the camp had facilities for couples, although that was very rare that couples shared them, but they didn't want to spend another night apart if they could help it. Derek quickly placed their luggage in their tent and went back to where Meredith was standing outside the administrators office, talking to a small French woman who introduced herself as Virginie, she explained in heavily French tones, about the work that they did at the camp, and she was grateful for any help that she could get, the disease was running rife through the camp, and there was nothing they could do about it.

Virginie was elated when she had a telegram from the Red Cross telling her that the MSF was sending a team of doctors, hopefully with enough hands they could get it under control. Has the only camp around this area with any kind of medical facility, so everyone came to them, that they had to turn people away, at least now with a team of doctors, 6 in total; they would be able to treat the black fever that was ravaging them and hopefully get out there to the people who have either been turned away or haven't even come to the camp.

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Meredith worked by Derek's side the whole time, they were in Ethiopia, at the camp. Derek learned from when they were in the DRC that Meredith wanted to be with him every step of the way, and although he wanted to protect her, he had come to realise that Meredith was invaluable to him, in a way he had never noticed before.

Meredith was helping the medics treating the emergency cases, while all the doctors were treating the more poorly patients. Meredith had forgotten how much she enjoyed the basic of medicine, she had always seen it has being what her mother wanted her to do, but she had always enjoyed it, she loved her job has a journalist, but she did feel that maybe there was something missing, she worked tirelessly that day, and thoughly enjoyed it, she never noticed Derek watching her, falling even more in love with her, how caring she was, she was the complete opposite of her mom, it made him so proud. He knew from watching her that she would have made an excellent doctor, he walked over to her, and breathe her in, has she was sat with the young girl, that had brought in on the first day they were there, she was comforting her, Derek gave her a quick kiss on the head. Meredith looked up at him with a tired smile.

"Mer, when was the last time you had some sleep" he asked caringly has he reached out and caressed her cheek"

"Sometime yesterday, I just don't want to leave her, Der, she has no-one" Derek pulls up and chairs, and sits down beside her, taking Meredith free hand in his.

"Mer, why don't you go and get a couple of hours sleep, i will stay with her" he suggests quietly.

"I can't Derek" she said looking at him, Derek can see the love in her eyes has she continues to damp the washcloth, and pat it over her.

"Meredith i want you to go and get a couple of hours sleep, you won't be any good to her, if you have collapsed cause you haven't slept or eaten in days"

"Derek, just answer me one question, than i will go and get some sleep"

"Of course"

"Has she got any chance of surviving this?" Derek heart breaks at the thought of answering her question knowing that is going to cause her more pain. Derek kneel down in front of her, holding her hands.

"Mer, honey, all we can do is making her comfortable, when she was brought in, she had been left untreated for too long, and she is too malnutritioned Mer"

"How long?" Meredith said quietly.

"Hours, maybe a day at the most" he said gently, placing his arms around and holding her tight, has she cried into his lab coat. They stayed like that for a few minutes, until the little girl starts coughing, Derek quickly rolled her onto her side, has Meredith holds her hand, Derek takes his stethoscope to check her breathing, before nodding to Mer who put her on her back and put the oxygen mask on her, Meredith follows Derek outside of the medical tent.

"Derek"

"I am so sorry Mer but she is already having troubles breathing, i think it will just be a matter of hours"

"How do you do it Derek, you seem so unfazed by this"

"Meredith i hate losing patients, i always have, especially losing a child, but out here it is a part of life, and it is even harder, knowing that if they had proper medical care and equipment most of these victims would survive. Back home, i love cutting, i am the best in my field, but when i come out here, i am just another doctor coming out to help, and in a way it is refreshing, you do actually make a difference out here but you also have to accept that you can't save everyone" Derek says to her quietly, Meredith wraps her arms around his waist, and rests her head against his chest, just staying like that, holding each other in the hot sticky air of Ethiopia.

They stay like that until the hear someone calling out Derek's name, from inside the tent, they quickly rush inside the tent to find the little girl has stopped breathing, Derek quickly starts CPR, has the Meredith runs to find the paddles, before handing them to Derek, Derek knows that it isn't going to work, but for Meredith's sake he needs to try. Ten minutes later, Derek shakes his head, and calls time of death, has he covers her up, and Meredith collapses in his arms, he picks her up and carries her to their tent, letting her cry until she falls asleep.

**I am currently working on the next update but i have no idea when it will be up, the next update very difficult to write so it will take a few days.**


	25. Chapter 28

**I have finally written the update, this was a very difficult update to write. This update is a combination of two different projects in the Darfur region of Sudan. One of these project have been abandoned due to government pressures, so I combine the project for this update. Enjoy!**

They arrived in Northern Darfur, this was their last assignment in Africa before moving on. They had discussed going back to their own lives, but they both knew that meant leaving each other that little bit sooner, and neither of them were ready to do that just yet to be living apart of different sides of the country, Derek wouldn't ask Meredith to leave her job, and Meredith would ask him to move. They knew that they had to stop off in New York, because Meredith had foundation business to do, and Derek had meeting with Doctor's Without Boarders in New York, so they would spend a few days there before flying down to South America for a further three months.

When they arrived in Shangil Tobaya, and after dropping their luggage of a the MSF headquarters, and they were both warned about the recent abductions of aids workers in the regions, and told to keep alert especially outside either of the camps. They were then taken to the clinic, and shown around, Derek for very impressed with the OR, which was pretty well equipped for the area, they were also shown around the inpatient and outpatient sections of the clinic.

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They had been in Shangil for over a week, there had been an epidemic of sleeping sickness that had torn through the Shadet camp. Meredith was helping in the clinic with the recent influx of new patients, and most of them where in the second stage of the disease which made it harder to treat, Derek sat down next to her, having just come out from surgery.

"Hey"

"How are you doing?"

"Tired, i haven't stopped in six am this morning and it now misnight"

"Have you eaten Der?"

"Nope i haven't had time"

"Derek, you need to eat" Mer told him, Derek smiled at her, he like her looking out for him, he knew that he could get use to it, but knew it was best not too.

"Have you eaten?" he countered back, Meredith looked away from him.

"Mer, let's go, and get some sleep, and get something to eat"

"Okay"

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Once they had both eaten, they headed back to their quarters, Derek stopped outside Where Mer was staying, and Derek just held Mer in his arms, they both hated this part of the day, having to say goodnight, having to leave each other. Derek caressed her cheek with his thumb, and gave her small smile, before gently kissing her, it was soft and gentle, a goodnight kiss.

"I love you, Der"

"I love you too, Mer" Derek watched as Meredith walked into the tent, before heading to his own.

Meredith woke up only several hours later, covered in sweat, has she realised she had been crying, this was the third nightmare that she had over the last three nights. The closer it came to returning to New York, the more intense the nightmares were, she hadn't told Derek about the nightmares, because she didn't want him to worry about her. She knew that he would, and at the moment they needed to concentrate on what they were doing, she pushed New York out of her mind, and looked at her watch it was only 4 am, but she knew that she wouldn't go back to sleep, so she decided to get up and go and help out in the clinic.

Has she walked into the clinic the first person, she saw was Derek, treating a patient, who was screaming out in agony has, the doctors injected him, his screams getting louder and louder. Meredith walked over to Derek, and looked up at him, Derek sent the other doctors that were with him away, before sitting down and pulling Meredith down on his lap.

"What are you doing up?" Derek asked her.

"I couldn't sleep"

"I'm sorry"

"It's okay" Mer said quietly, burying her head in the crook of his neck, just before the patient on the bed writhes and screams out, Derek quick stands up, and checks over his vitals.

"Derek, what's happening?"

"The melarsoprol is spreading around his body and it is very painful for them"

"What in it?"

"It is derived from arsenic" Derek says matter of factly.

"Arsenic?"

"Yeah, it is the only effective drug for this type and stage of sleeping sickness; it will either help him or kill him"

"Type?"

"Yeah, there are two types of sleeping sickness typanosoma brucei gambiense or t.b rhodesiense, he has the latter, and he is in stage 2 which is the neurological stage"

"Is there anything else that can help him?"Mer asked, Derek shook his head.

"Mer, i hate administering melarsoprol, it caustic, it burns, and you don't know if you are going to save or kill the patient" Derek told her, Meredith nodded before starting to yawn.

"Maybe, you should go back to bed for a while Mer"

"I am fine, Derek"

"Meredith, you can barely keep your eyes open" Derek said to her gently.

"I don't want too, Der" Meredith said with tears in her eyes, Derek studied her carefully knowing that she was keeping something from him, but he knew by now not to push her,

"Mer, there is a spare cot in the office, let's go and lay down there" Mer nods and stands up, taking Derek hand to the back of the clinic, she lies down, and Derek climbs in next to her, holding her close, until she falls asleep.

**All information in the African updates have come from different sources but the main source I have used for these update is the MSF/Doctors Without Boarders site.**

**Hopefully the next few updates will come a lot quicker, since I already have an idea of what is happening in the next updates.**


	26. Chapter 29

**Rated M. Enjoy!**

Derek woke up the next morning to a sleeping Meredith, Derek was pleased at how accepting his mom was of Meredith, she watched her snoring lightly, Meredith stirred slightly and shifted in her sleep, wrapping her leg around his, and snuggling deeper into Derek chest. Derek ran his hand over her hair, loving the feeling of being connected to her, he didn't know how he managed to live without her all those years. Meredith could feel Derek eyes on her, she would usually roll her eyes at him, and tell him to stop watching her but she loved it, she didn't know what she did to deserve him, but knew that she could want to live without him.

"Hey, sleepyhead" Der murmured to her, kissing, Meredith deepens the kissing keeping her eyes closed, wrapping her arms around his neck, and rolls him on top of her, before breaking the kiss.

"Good morning" she said opening her eyes.

"It is certainly started that way" Derek says capturing her lips with his own.

"And you know what would make it a better morning" Mer says against his lips. "You inside me" she says opening her legs, his cock instantly hardens.

"Meredith Grey, you shocked me" Derek feigns a look of shock.

"Well, if you don't want too" Mer teases, trying to move away from him, in a half-heartily attempt. Derek grabs her arms, and places them above her head and kisses her hard.

"Derek...please..." she murmurs as the head of his cock brushed the edge of her clit, Derek kissed her neck, finding the spot that drove her wild, freeing one of her arms, Derek plunges two fingers in her wet pussy, and softly with his thumb, stroking her clit.

"Derek..." Mer moans his name, Derek take a nipple and starts to suck on it, knowing how much it turned her on, he gave her other nipple the same attention , has he plunges his fingers in and out of her.

"Derek...oh..." trailing kisses down to over her abdomen, and down to her wet pussy, which is aching for him, Derek runs his tongue of her folds , and starts to suck on her clit.

"Fuck...Der...cumming" Mer shouted out, has she spilled hot cum into his mouth, Derek kisses her, letting her taste herself on him.

"You taste so good Mer"

"I love you Der..."

"And i love you" Derek says kissing her and reaching over to the bedside cabinet, not breaking the kiss, Meredith helps him to roll it on, as he enters her, he whispers how much he loves her, Derek didn't know why but he wanted to make sure that she knew.

Meredith raised her hips of the bed, and began to move her hips in a circular motion, has Derek started to move inside of her, Mer ran her hand over his broad shoulders, down over his well defined back and down to his ass, where she cupped in her hands, before making him thrust her into her.

"Mer..." Derek moaned

"Derek...please..." Mer begs him, bucking her hips to meet each one of his thrusts. "Fuck...Mer..." Derek calls out.

"Derek"

"Meredith" Derek screams out, has her walls began to tighten around him.

"Oh...DEREK... she screams

"Mer...open your eyes" Mer slowly opens her eyes, to find herself staring into his blue. They loses themselves in each other eyes, has they peak together, connected like they were one person. They can see each other eyes darken as they spill into each other. They stay connected like that, both utterly breathless, but still connect, and they both want to stay that way forever. As Derek started to go flaccid inside of her, he slipped himself out of her, pulling off the condom, throwing it in the bin, Derek pulls her in close to him, so every part of their body is touching, has Derek drifts off with the love of his life in his arms, where she belonged.


	27. Chapter 30

**I would say enjoy but I won't, I am loving having this time I work it means I can write and update more often.**

Derek had finally left his meeting, he hated being in a suit, all he wanted to do was go back to the hotel, and curl up to Meredith in the King size bed, and lose himself in her, he missed her so much, which was crazy he only saw her a few hours ago, he quickly dialled her number, hoping that she would pick up, she answered on the second ring.

"Hey"

"Hey, i miss you" Mer giggled down the phone at him.

"I miss you too, how did your meeting go?"

"I went well, we have a further 3 months, and Richard's agree to it"

"That good, Der" Mer said sounding excited.

"Have you finished yet?" Derek asked hopefully, Mer sighed.

"I'm afraid not, things look much worse than i though, i think i am going to be here all day Derek" Meredith said sounding disappointed.

"That okay, Mer, but you on still on for dinner later"

"I am, luckily i have a dress here, that i must left here last time, so i can wear that if i don't have a chance to get back to the hotel before dinner"

"Okay, well Lacey wanted me to meet her for lunch so i will text her, i will see you later, and i love you"

"I love you too, Derek" she said before hanging up the phone.

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For Meredith, after the wonderful start they had that morning, it quickly went downhill and the rest of the morning was hell. In her six months absence the foundation seemed to be falling apart, Meredith knew that she needed to work everything out today, since they were going to South America tomorrow afternoon. As the afternoon went on, it slowly not worse, two of her donators had pulled out, and she had to find new one fast, it was 5.30 pm when she finally got off the phone, with no luck, Meredith could feel the tears welling up in her eyes, it was the end of the line, there was no way she could go tomorrow there was just too much to sort out. Her cell rang and she saw it was Derek, but she didn't answer it, she had no idea how she was going to tell him. She sent him a quick text saying that she would meet him at the restaurant, giving herself some time to pull herself together.

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Meredith had just gotten dressed, when there was a knock at her office door, she wondered who it was, there wasn't anyone here at this time, Meredith found herself reaching in her drawer, for the one thing she said that she would never use.

"Yes"

"Hello Meredith" Meredith froze, hoping that she had imagine that voice.

"What do you want?" Meredith said looking at him in the eye.

"Well, i came to my wife"

"Go away Mark"

"My now we are different, well, that won't last very long, once you come home"

"I am not coming home, Mark, i left you six months ago"

"I have to admit he hid you every well, but coming back to New York was a mistake", he said approaching her, Meredith walked backwards until she hit the wall.

"Mark, i have to go" Mer said before realising he was standing in front of her.

"Where do you think you are going without permission?"

"I do not need to ask your permission i never have" she tell him, just has her office phone so off, Mark moves out of the way so she can answer it.

"Meredith grey's office"

"Mer, it's me, are you ready?" Meredith closes her eyes at hearing his voice.

"I am just about leaving; i will see you in 20 minutes"

"Okay, i love you"

"I love you too" Mer says before hanging up, and she turns to Mark. "Get out of my office, and don't ever come back"

"Do not speak to me like that"

"I will speak to you how the hell i like, i have a dinner date with the man that i love more than anything, and who actually loves me, not like you Mark"

"Oh i love you, Meredith"

"No you don't, you never have Mark, you just wanted a punch bag, but you know what Mark?"

"What?"

"I will never be your punch bag ever again, you are coward" she spat at him. "Now get the hell out of my office and my life"

"Meredith, you have not heard the last of me"

"Oh yes i have Mark, because i am not scared off you anymore, now get out" Meredith said, watching him walk out of her office, but just before he closes the door, he looked at her, coldly.

"You haven't heard the last of me" he says, before slamming the door behind him. Meredith stares at the door, after he has gone, until her cell rings, she can see it is Derek again, she quickly pulls herself together before grabbing her phone, and leaving her office, locking it behind her.


	28. Chapter 31

**Sorry about the wait, I hope it worth it. Rated M. Enjoy!**

Meredith finally arrived at the restaurant 15 minutes late, she gave the maître d her name, who took her over to Derek's table, Derek saw her approaching a stood up to greet her, and gently kissed her on the lips.

"Sorry i'm late"

"That's okay" he says against her lips "Meredith, you already know Lacey" Der says has Lacey hugs her.

"It nice to see you again Meredith"

"And you, at least this time i don't think you are Derek's date" Mer said to her and Lacey laughed.

"Mer, this is my sisters Kathleen and Jennifer" Derek introduces them, Meredith sits down, and quickly gulps down the glass of wine.

"Long day, Mer" Derek asked her quietly.

"Yep, i am going to need some tequila later"

"Okay, we will find a bar, after dinner"

"Thank you" Mer says kissing him gently on the lips.

"Okay, let's order shall we?" Mer says, Derek looks over at her and can that she is nervous, and can also see that she has something on her mind. The rest of the evening went quickly, but Meredith found herself feeling better, she got to see a completely different side of Derek when he was around his sisters, he was more relaxed, and his sisters was loud, she was surprised at how much she found herself getting along with them, after the meal they all decided to hit a few bars.

Meredith, Lacey and Kathleen were knocking back the tequila, surprisingly Kath and Lacey could keep up with Meredith, Derek found himself watching his girlfriend. She quickly threw her arms around him, and kisses him.

"Mer..."

"sshh..." she places her finger against his lips.

"I want you..."

"I want you too...but...hotel"

"No...ladies bathroom, two minutes" she says kissing him deeply before heading in that direction.

"Derek is Meredith okay?" Kathleen asks him.

"I am sure she is fine, Mer can handle her tequila better than anyone, i will go and check on her" Derek says, assuring Lacey, before going to check on her, Derek opens the door to the ladies toilets.

"Meredith"

"I am in here" she calls out from one of the cubicles, Derek walks toward them, she grabs him, and pulls him into the cubicle.

"Hi"

"Hi" Derek kissing her, as Meredith undid she jeans, unsurprisingly his cock already waiting for her. Meredith pushes him back on the toilet, and straddles him.

"Do you wanna go for a ride"

"i thought you would never ask" Derek pulls out a condom from the back pocket of his jeans, and rolling it on himself, before Meredith gently lower herself on to hard cock, taking him inch my inch until he completely filled her up.

"Derek?"

"Yeah"

"i wanna show you what i used to be like before i met him, please don't judge me on it" Mer pleaded with him, Derek took her face in his hand, and kisses her gently on the lips.

"Mer i would never judge you i promise"

"Okay" she said gently starting to move gently at first, Derek thrusting himself off the seat.

"Oh...fuck..."

"That it...Meredith" Derek groaned, as Meredith kept massaging his hard cock.

"fuck...Meredith..."

"O h god...Derek" she calls out grabbing on to his shoulders has he continued to thrust into her . They could hear other people on the bathroom, but could not stop from calling out each other name, they had finally reached the edge, their orgasm coming hard and fast.

"Fuck..DEREKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK"

"MEREDITHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" they screamed as they came together. Meredith collapsed on him and Derek held her, staying inside of her.

"I think the whole bar heard us"

"Oh well, that was..."

"Amazing, we should do stuff like that more often" Derek grinned at her, Meredith kissed him gently, as she stood up, Derek rolled off the condom, and threw it in the trash.

"You don't think that i am whore then" Mer said looking away from him.

"Hey" Derek said cupping her chin, and making her look at him. " Meredith, we all have a past, and there is nothing wrong with that, you are not a whore, and i ever want to hear you referring to yourself has one" Derek says firmly. Meredith nods, and leans against Derek, he wraps his arms around her, holding her.


	29. Chapter 32

**All my other fics will be updated later today. Rated M. Enjoy!**

Meredith woke up the next morning to a cold bed; she grabbed the robe of the floor and wrapped it around herself and walked out into the living area but Derek was nowhere to be found, she found tears welling up in her eyes, she told him last night that she couldn't go with him to South America.

"Meredith" she heard Derek's voice from behind her, she turned and looked at him, and started sobbing, Derek took two huge strides and held her, has she cried.

"I...can't...scared..."

"Mer, honey you need to calm down" Derek told running circles on her back, which seem to calm her down.

"What are you scared off, Mer?"

"I thought you had left"

"Mer, i am not going anywhere"

"I know, but i am going to miss you so much when you are in Bolivia"

"I could stay here with you" he offered for the third time since last night.

"No, you have more important things to do"

"Nothing is more important then you" Derek says leaning down and kissing her gently on the lips, Meredith wraps her arms around his neck, and kisses him back.

"I love you so much"

"And you know how much i love you; i promise these next three months will fly. They will have to, coz i have to admit i am a little worried about leaving you here alone"

"Derek i will be fine" Meredith voices wavers slightly.

"I wish you would stay with someone Mer and not on your own, what if Mark finds you"

"He won't" Mer tries to sound confident, she hadn't told Derek about Mark coming to the office the day before, she knew as soon as she did, that he would cancel his trip, but she didn't want him to do that.

"Mer, he isn't going to be happy about you leaving him, and he will no doubt make you pay for it"

"Would i help you to relax if i hired at security guard while you are away?"

"You would do that"

"I don't want you out there worrying about my safety, and if it help but put your mind at ease than i would be willing to do it" Mer confirmed for him.

"Thank you" Meredith smiled.

"How long until you have to leave?" Mer asks mournfully.

"In about 2 hours"

"So we have time for another round?" Derek picked her up from the seat and carried her to the bed, undoing the robe, so she is laid there, he runs his eyes up and down her gorgeous body, has he removes his clothes, he grabs one of her legs, planting little kisses up her ankle, her shin, over her knee, and to the thighs, dipping his tongue in her wet folds sucking on her juices.

"Derek"

"Cum for me" he said has he continued to suck and flick her clit with his tongue, Meredith could feel her first orgasm come on, she gripped the bed sheets has she screamed out his name. Derek licked her cleaned, and came up to face level, kissing her letting her taste herself on him. Derek went to reach over for a condom, but Meredith shook her head.

"Derek there is no need, i am not has my dangerous period was another week"

"Oh good, i want to cum inside you", he said has he entered her, slowly and gently, for the first time, he could actually feel her walls around his cock. "You feel so good, Meredith" Meredith wraps her legs around his waist and lifts her hips off the bed.

"Fuck...Derek"

"What do you want Mer?"

"Harder...Please" Derek sucks on her earlobe, has he moves inside of her. Thrusting in and out, going slowly at first, than thrusting faster, harder and deeper.

"Mer..."

"Derek..."

"Mer, i can't..."

« DEREK » Mer calls out has her orgasm washed over her.

"MER..." Derek calls out has he released into her, before collapsing gently on top of her.

"I love you Meredith"

"I love you too" Mer says kissing him, has he pulls out of her. "Go and have a shower, Der, i will have one after, we need to leave for the airport soon"

"Yeah" Derek says not wanting to leave her.

"I need to call my secretary and let her know that won't be in until later this afternoon"

"Okay" Derek says reluctantly climbing off her and heading for the bedroom. Meredith laid on the bed a little longer, the tears already running down her face, has she wandered how she was going to say goodbye to him.

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Once they arrived at the airport, Meredith clung to Derek, she wanted so badly to ask him to stay in New York with him, but she wouldn't, Meredith knew his mom was due to met them, and even has she came, Derek still held on to Meredith for dear life. Carolyn didn't come for Derek, like Meredith believed, Derek asked his mom to come, to make sure Meredith made it back to the hotel. As they called his flight, they both knew the time had come to say goodbye, at least for the next few months. Derek pulled her into his arms, burying his hand into her hair, until he was ready to look at her, and her tears, Derek cupped her chin, looking at her in the eyes, her eyes matching his, the turmoil of spending time apart, he leant down and kissed her, Meredith wrapped her arms around him, and held him tight has they kissed.

"I love you so much, Mer"

"I love you too" Mer said has she cried.

"Look after yourself, baby" Meredith simply nodded, not finding the strength inside to say anything to him. They called the final boarding for his flight, and he passed her to his mother.

"please look after mom" Derek said the tears running down his cheek too.

"Of course i will sweetheart" Derek picks up his luggage and walks toward the departure gate, he was just about to hand his ticket over when he heard her behind him.

"Derek" she called, he turned around Meredith jumped into his arms, kissing him for the last time. "When you come home, i want to spend the rest my life with you"

"And i want to spend the rest of my life to you too, i love you"

"I love you too" she said watching him enter the tunnel, Meredith collapse into Carolyn arms, has she cries.


	30. Chapter 33 CONTAIN STRONG VIOLENCE 18

**Warning: This chapter contain violence, so please DO NOT READ unless you are over 18 yrs old. This is going to be a difficult chapter to read, and although I have had other updates in this fic that does contain some violence, this is the worse by far. PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION.**

It had been six weeks since Derek left for South America, Meredith stayed that first week with his mom, she had insisted on it, but afterwards she returned to work, but discovered that she didn't enjoy it has much as she did, she had met Susanna for lunch and told her how she felt, Susanna told her to take the rest of the year off and decide then what she wanted to do, Meredith agreed, she felt so empty without Derek there, but she had one thing that kept her going and that was carrying Derek's baby.

She found an apartment, and had just moved into the previous day. After siz weeks she had finally got the foundation up and running smoothly again, and had grant letters about new trials that needed funding, but Meredith had decided not to re-stretch the foundation so they weren't taking on anything new until she had found more donators. She had received a substantial amount of donation from a source that wanted to remind private, which covered the donations she had lost, but she wanted to know who it was from, there was only two people who was aware of how much money the foundation had lost, and that was Derek and Mark, and he only knew because the people that had pulled out were friends of Mark's. Meredith so desperately wanted it to come from Derek but the feeling in the pit of her stomach told her it was from him, the one person she wanted out of her life for good.

She looked around the apartment and grabbed a couple of the boxes, and started unpacking them. She was looking for pictures to put up in the living room, she was looking for her high school graduation photo, it was the only photo she had left of her and her parents, She remembered that she had had boxes in the attic at the house, she knew that she had to return to the house, but she knew that she needed to. Meredith looked at her watch and saw it was still only 3 o clock, so she knew that he would still be in work, and it would only take her five minutes, she decided that it was worth the risk.

She arrived at the house, and taking her key out of her bag, she looked up at the hiuse, and left nothing, she took a deep breath, before walking up the stairs to her former home, and unlocking the door. She calls Mark name before entering the house, and is relieved when no-one answers, she goes straight up to the attic. After a few minutes she finds the box that she was looking for and quickly ran down the stairs, she had just reached the bottom step, when Mark walked into the house.

"Hello, Meredith" he said coldly.

"I left some stuff here, i just though i would come and get it, oh and here is your key" Meredith says handing it to him, and goes to the front door and goes to open it but finds that she can't, that he has locked the door.

"Mark...open this door" she says angrily and turns to face him, he reaches out and slaps her hard across the face, sending her flying across the hallway. Meredith stands up, but he walks closer to her, grabbing her by the hands, he backs her into the wall.

"Now you are back home where you belong?" he says gloating

"Mark, Derek is waiting for me, i have to go" Mer says, hoping that he would let her go.

"Meredith, lying to me is going to make it worse, i know he isn't here, he left you like everyone else"

"Derek is coming home" she says forcibly, Mark grabs her by the hair, and drags her into living area and throws her onto the rug. Meredith starts to retreat into herself, like she used to but remembers her baby, she knows if she and the baby has any chance of survival she needs to fight, not just take it. Mark walks over to her, Meredith quickly moves out of the way, before running for the back door, she gets to the living room door when Mark fist connected with her face, sending Mer tumbling backward and knocking her head on the coffee table, she looked up to see him hunched over her, she curls up into a ball, determined to protect her baby at all cost.

"Well, when he does, you don't be there, you don't leave me Meredith without consequences, you are nothing but a whore" he hisses her. Grabbing her again, and he pulls her up of the floor and drags her in the kitchen and throws her into the cupboard, Meredith bangs her head hard against the marble counter, Mark stands her ankle, she had feel the break but bites down hard on her lip, so not to scream out in pain, not wanting to give him the satisfaction.

"You are awfully quiet Meredith", Mark watches her and noted that she left her arms over her stomach and had been doing since he walked into the house. He realised something, he smirked at her, actually realising how much power he held over her, considering her condition. He crouched over her, has she reached for the back of her head and can feel the blood on her hand.

"You know Meredith, i have just figured something out, i wonder if you told him, something told me that you haven't, because i don't think he would have left you here, you are having his baby"

"I don't know what you are talking about" Mer says, knowing that she can't admit to him what he wants to know.

"Oh, i think you do, I've noticed how you keep trying to protect your stomach"

"Mark...Please"

"Now you beg, remember what happened last time you were pregnant" Meredith looked away from him, not wanting him to see her cry. "Do you remember what happened?" he said, grabbing her face and making her look at him. "Well the same thing is about to happen again"

"Mark...Please...no" she pleaded with him, Mark smirked at her.

"You would be a crap mother Meredith, and the baby would hate you as much as everyone else does, you are unlovable. Don't worry this won't hurt...much" he laughs, grabbing her around the neck, lifting her up, squeezing tighter, Meredith starts to lose consciousness, and the last thing she hear is Mark laughing, before passing out.

**Once you read this go and check out my new fic Lost Without You, it light and fluffy, which I think you will need.**


	31. Chapter 34

It had been two weeks since he had heard from Meredith and was now starting to worry, he only had a month left before flying home, and unfortunately he had to go back to Seattle before going to see Meredith in New York. In the last two weeks, Derek has had a strange feeling at the bottom of his stomach, like there was something wrong he was due to go to La Paz to pick up some medical supplies the next day, he just hoped that he could make through the rest of the day, he just needed to hear her voice, and tell him, that she was okay.

Back in New York, Susanna was worried Meredith was due back some Hawaii the day before, but she didn't get on her flight and she managed to find out that she never boarded that flight to Hawaii over two weeks, and it was so unlike Meredith to just disappear like that and not connect anyone. Susanna went around to her apartment, and luckily Meredith had given her the spare key, once she had got inside, the apartment was so still, there was still boxes, that she hadn't unpacked, one box left open as if she was going through it and just stopped. Susanna left the apartment and decided to phone a friend that she had in NYPD.

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Derek was so relieved when he got to Bolivian capital and finally had some signal on his phone, he called Meredith's cell phone first, just want to hear her voice, but it went straight onto answer phone, which he found a little odd, he figured that she was at the foundation or at work, so he quickly dialled the foundation number.

"Hello, Meredith Grey's office" her secretary picked up.

"Hi, it Derek Shepherd can i speak to Meredith please"

"I am afraid she isn't in a moment"

"When will she be back?"

"I am sorry Mr Shepherd but i don't know when Ms Grey will be back"

"Look i am a friend of Meredith's, and i am currently away so i really do need to talk to her"

"Okay, i shouldn't be telling you this, but Ms Grey hasn't been in the office for over two weeks and no one has heard from her in that time either"

"Thanks" Derek hangs up, he has a million thoughts go through his head, he quickly rings Susanna, if anyone knew anything it would know Susanna.

"Thank god, Derek i am been trying to ring you"

"I'm sorry Suze, i have no signal where i am"

"It okay, so i take it you haven't heard from Meredith"

"Um...no that was why i was ringing you"

"Derek, i am worried about her, i was suppose to pick her up from the airport yesterday and apparently she never got on the plane two weeks ago and i can't find her" she said sounding panicked.

"Crap, i knew i should have stayed with her, that i shouldn't have left" Derek blamed himself.

"Derek i don't know what to do" Susanna said panicking.

"Okay, just let me think, have you contacted the police"

"No, not yet, do you want me too"

"Not yet, listen i am going to talk to Doctors without Boarder in New York about leaving and hopefully i will catch a flight to New York either today or tomorrow. Can you call my mom and see if they have seen or heard anything? And i will call you back when i know what is happening"

"Okay" Susanna says before hanging up. Derek runs his hands through his hair, he just didn't know what to do; he wanted to be in New York with her, he would kill Mark if he laid a hand on her, and something told him that it had something to do with him. He had to get back to New York, no matter what.


	32. Chapter 35

**Someone get a little taste of their own medicine in this update. Enjoy!**

Derek plane had just landed at JFK, he was itching to get off that plane, the flight from Bolivia had been way to long for his liking, all he wanted was to find Meredith and make sure that she was safe. When those plane doors opens Derek was so relieved, he practically ran off the plane and through the terminal, hoping and praying that customs didn't keep him, he had one objective to find his mom and Susanna that was waiting for him before going to find the love of his life.

Carolyn was pacing in the arrival lounge, while Susanna was sat down, making phone calls like she had non-stop since she called Derek two days earlier, for two days either of them had any sleep. Carolyn had become every fond of Meredith, and just hoped that her future daughter in law was okay, she couldn't imagine the pain her son was going through at the moment. She saw him walking into the arrival lounge, a shell of the man he was only six weeks before, she had never seen someone who so broken and she opened for her son sake that Meredith was alright. Derek saw his mom, then she was right in front of him, hugging him.

"Oh sweetheart" she murmured and for just a moment Derek closes his eyes and forgets everything, for just one instance, until it all comes rushing back to him. It had been two day since Susanna rang him, and all he could do was worry, he was so glad to be back on US soil, that he felt a little more alive, rather than the zombie he had been the last two days. Derek pulled away from his mom, gave her a small smile before walking over to Susanna, and pulling her in for a hug.

"I have never been so scared in my life Der"

"I know neither have i" he told her. Carolyn watches the two old friends, remembering a time, she though they were good for each other, during their brief relationship, but she knew they were better of as friends, and she was happy that Susanna had brought Meredith into her sons life. Carolyn rested a hand on her son shoulder.

"Sweetheart, let's get you home"

"Mom" Derek said taking her hands. "Mom, i have a few errands to run before i go home, would you mind taking my luggage back to the house?"

"Are you sure about this Derek?"

"I need to this mow, mom"

"Okay, sweetheart. Where are you going?"

"To pay a visit to Meredith ex husband"

"Why?" Carolyn asked confused.

"Mom, i will explain everything when i find Meredith, please just trust me on this, i love you mom"

"I love you too Derek" she says to her son before he turns away and looks at Susanna.

"You coming with me?"

"Oh trust me, i will not miss this for the world"

"So, you agree with me"

"Derek, it would make a lot of sense. I just wish i did something more to protect her"

"Susanna don't balme yourself, if it anyone fault it mine, i knew i shouldn't have left her"

"Derek, Susanna, sit down, the both of you" Carolyn tells them, they look at her in surprise, but with one look they both do.

"I want you both to listen to me. I don't know exactly what is going on, and Derek you will fill me in later but neither of you can blame yourselves for whatever has happened, do i make myself clear"

"Yes mom"

"Yes, Carolyn"

"Good...Now i am going home and Derek don't be too long and Susanna, i expect you at our's for dinner tonight" she said giving her son a quick kiss on the forehead before walking off.

"Derek...she is right, we need to stop blaming ourselves"

"I know, are you ready?"

"I am" Susanna tells him leading him to her car. On the drive into New York, Derek was on the phone was to his brother and best friend Mark Sloan who caught him uo to date with everything that the DA knew.

"Derek, we are here are you ready for this?"

"You have no idea Susanna"

They walked into the office block and up onto the elevator until they reached the offices on James and Dean Law firm. Derek walked a little further ahead than Susanna since his secretary Isobel had never seen him.

"Hello, can i help you ,sir?"

"I am here to see Mr James"

"I am sorry sir, but Mr James is currently in a meeting"

"Well, that he even better" Derek smiled at her, has he walks over to his office door and swang it open.

"Excuse me sir, you can't go in there" Isobel starts just has Mark lifts his head from the desk.

"I am sure Mr James won't mind" Derek turns to her and says.

"Actually i would" Mark says standing up.

"Well, that is tough Mark" Derek says grabbing him by the neck and slamming him up against the wall. "Now you son of a bitch, what have you done to her?" Derek says angrily.

"She left you too" Mark smirks at him, Derek releases him gently before slamming in uop against the wall harder than before.

"You will tell me what you have done to her?"

"I have no idea whgat you are talking about" he says a smirk crossing his face, and Derek wanted nothing to do but wipe it off.

"Don't play games with me Mark. Where is she, and if you have laid a hand on her i will kill you, i swear to god"

"That slut got everything she deserved, and that bastard child of hers" Derek looked at him in shocked, before punching him so hard that he landed on the floor of his office, in front of his clients. Derek goes to lay into him some more before Susanna pulls him back.

"Derek, he isn't worth it, trust me i know"

"I need to know where she is?"

"Derek, he isn't going to tell us, but he will get what is coming to him, i promise you that. Come on, let's go" she says to him dragging him out of the office and into the corridor, as they are about to enter the elevator, Derek hears Mark's secretary calling his name, she hands him a piece of paper, with an address on it, and a time to meet her.

**We find out what happened to Meredith in the next update.**


	33. Chapter 36

**I think I fixed the problem, I don't know why it repost an old update for, it wasn't the one I had uploaded. Enjoy!**

**Two days later, Meredith was being transferred to Seattle, she still hadn't regain consciousness, Derek had her taken in for MRI, CT, and there was still no medical reason that they could see for her to still be in a coma. Derek was relieved to be back at Seattle Grace, has the helicopter landed, Derek could see Richard, waiting for them. **

Once they got into the hospital, and gotten Meredith settled into her room, Richard pulled Derek into his office for a moment.

"What happened?"

"I don't know, Richard, apparently she has been like that since she was admitted to hospital, she is in a coma, and no-one knows why"

"Who did this to her?"

"I have reason to believe it Mark"

"She mention something about it when she was here last, i wish i could have done more"

"It's my fault" Derek broke down; Richard placed a hand on his former student shoulder. "If i never have left her, he wouldn't have been able to hurt her"

"Derek, Meredith would not want you to blame yourself"

"I know; have you paged Dr Yang?"

"Not yet, i think you should, she would want to know"

"Okay"

"Well if you need me i will be in with Meredith" Derek said walking out of the chief's office. Derek made his way down to Meredith's room; he wasn't expected back at work for another month and a half. He curled up on the bed with her.

"Hey Mer, we have arrived in Seattle, please baby you need to wake up, i love you so much. I need you, please Mer" Derek said, not noticing anyone standing in the door way of her room until they cleared her throat. Derek looked up.

"Dr Yang"

"Call me Cristina, Derek. How is she?"

"Just waiting on her to wake up" Derek tells her, has Cristina sits in a chair and holds Meredith's other free hand. It mean like hours that Derek laid there holding her, and Cristina sat holding her hand either of them wanted to leave alone for a minutes, Derek kissed her forehead and noticed that her bruising on her face was starting to turn yellow. Neither of them noticed Dr Wheeler coming into the room.

"Dr Shepherd, i am sorry to interrupt"

"No, Martin that is okay, just call me Derek"

"Her last scan showed an epidural hematoma on her frontal lobe, we need to evacuate it. I have scheduled the operation for two hours from now, i am sure i don't need to tell you both the risks" both Derek and Cristina nods.

"Okay i will be back in an hour for Ms Grey pre-op"

"Not sending an intern?"

"No this cases i am taking a personal interest in"

"Thank you i appreciate this Martin"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Derek was sat in his office, with Cristina sat on the couch, they both stayed right there, not speaking but hoping and praying that she would come back to them, it has been over four hours since she went down for her surgery, and she was due out soon barring any complication, Derek's pager went off saying recovery room, both Derek and Cristina rushed out of Derek office and up onto the OR floor, to find Dr Wheeler and the chief standing outside.

"Dr Shepherd, Dr Yang, you will be happy to know that the surgery was successful" Martin told them. "She is wake, you will be happy to know"

"Thank you Martin, you have no idea" Derek said smiling for the first time in four weeks.

"Derek, Dr Yang, Meredith isn't fully aware of what happened yet, and you need to be aware that her husband is listed as her next of kin.

"You haven't"

"Derek calm down, i haven't but unless Meredith makes charges against him, then i can't stop him from finding out"

"That won't be an issue, Richard. Can i see her please?"

"Of course you can, Derek" Richard says, Derek rests a hand on Cristina shoulder, before entering the recovery room.

Derek slowly approaches her bed, before leaning down and kissing her gently on the head and Meredith opened her eyes to se Derek.

"Hey"

"Oh, Mer. You scared the life out of us"

"I am so sorry, i shouldn't have..." Derek leant down and kissed her gently on the forehead.

"Stop...Mer, you have had a long surgery so get some sleep and we will talk then"

"Okay, i love you"

"I love you too, now sleep" Derek tells her.

"Der?"

"Yes"

"Can you hold me please?" Derek smiles, and gently climbs in next to her, holding her.


	34. Chapter 37

**You might want tissues for this update. Enjoy!**

**Derek watched while she was sleeping, so grateful to have found her, he was so glad that she awake, he still hadn't told her about the baby yet, he was waiting for her to ask, he wasn't sure how to tell her, that their baby had died. Dr Stevens-Karev wanted to do another ultrasound, to make sure that everything was okay after the D&C.**

"Hey beautiful" Derek said leaning down and kissing her gently.

"Hey" she said quietly, her hand going down to her stomach and resting there. "Derek, my baby" Derek looked at her sadly, not sure how to say the words.

"Mer...i am so sorry" Derek says, as Meredith shakes her head.

"No..."

"Mer..."

"No...no...no" she repeats, crying, Derek holds her tighter, trying to comfort her. Meredith pushes Derek away.

"Mer..."

"Leave..."

"I am going anywhere"

"Please...Leave..." she begs him, Derek leans down and kisses her gently on the head, i will be in my office Mer, i'll be back in an hour, I love you"

"You don't have too"

"I will back in an hour, Mer" Derek reconfirmed before leaving her alone in the hospital room; glancing back to see her curled in the foetal position, Derek heard someone call his name.

"Susanna" he smiled sadly.

"How is she?"

"I've just told her about the baby and she wanted me to leave her alone, i am headed for my office and I'll be back in an hour"

"How are you holding up?"

"I am okay Suze. I am just worried about Mer. Tell her i love her"

"Of course Derek" Susanna watches as Derek walks away, he looked so defeated, and once he turned the corner, Derek found a supply closet, and broke down in tears, letting out all the emotions of the past few days and for their baby. Derek never noticed Richard coming in and sitting down next to him and placing a hand on his shoulder.

Susanna walked into Meredith hospital room, finding her how Derek left her, her heart went out to the both them; Susanna had never seen her like this not even last time, she lost her baby..

"Derek i told you to leave"

"It me, Meredith"

"Susanna..." Meredith says between sobs, Susanna walks over to her and like Derek before climbed in the bed next to her and held her while she cried.

"He hates me...."

"Meredith...he loves you"

"I told him to leave" she said crying even harder. "I try to keep our baby safe...but i couldn't...I love him so much"

"Meredith...Derek will be back, he isn't going anywhere, he loves you" Susanna tells her firmly, tightening her grip on Meredith, someone that she sees as a daughter to her. Derek stands in the doorway watching both Meredith and Susanna, with tears in his eyes, Susanna notices him standing there, and quietly say something to Mer that he can't hear before climbing off the bed and out of the room, briefly resting a hand on his shoulder.

"Derek...i am so sorry" Meredith says, Derek walks over to her bed, and sits in the chair taking her hand in his.

"Meredith...you have nothing to be sorry for"

"I couldn't keep our baby safe"

"Meredith it is not your fault" he says gently massaging her hand with his thumb.

"I try, i really tried" she said sadly, Derek quickly sat on her bed, and pulled her into his arms.

"Meredith Grey...i love you, i know you tried, but i need you, as long as you are alright that is all that matter, it is you i could live without, and don't you forget it" he tells her kissing her gently on top of the head.


	35. Chapter 38

**Enjoy!**

Two weeks later, Meredith was going around the twist, being stuck in the hospital bed, Derek had gone back to work a couple of days after she woke up so that he could have more time off when she was discharged. Susanna had gone home a couple of days before needing to get back to the paper. Meredith was still every upset over loosing the baby, but as long as Derek was by her side, she knew that she would get through it, she really didn't know what she do without him. Over the past two weeks she had managed to rekindle her friendship with Cristina. She had a visit from the police, and although she had made a statement at Derek's encouragement she wasn't sure if she had done the right thing, she want him out of her life, and she was still scared at what he could do to her, she had filed the legal separation papers a couple of days before, and in a year she could get a divorce, and hopefully completely get him out of her life for good.

"Hey Mer, how you feeling?" Derek asked hanging in the doorway, in his dark blue scrubs, Meredith found him so sexy in his scrubs, damn she was horny.

"I am ready to out of here, and go home, Derek" she said with a smile, Derek give her a small sad smile. "Der...What's wrong?"

"Nothing...Dr Wheeler will be down in five minutes, Mer" Derek says sitting on the chair next to her bed, Meredith bites her lip trying to hold back the tears, not knowing what she had done, but the first tear slipped down.

Meredith comment about wanted to go home, cut him to the core, he was hoping that she would stay with him, the thought of her going back to New York broke his heart, he wanted her here in Seattle, he wanted to hold her and take her in his arms but he couldn't not without begging her to stay, he looked over at her, and saw that she was crying, and he felt even worse knowing that he made her cry, he quickly sat on the bed next to her pulling her in his arms.

"Sshh...Mer...don't cry baby"

"What did i do, Derek?" she asked almost inaudibly.

"Mer...you didn't do anything, it was just that when you said about going home, it hit me that you could be returning to New York" he told her, Meredith looked at him with a look of surprise on her face, she though he knew.

"Oh...Derek, you are my home, as long as i am with you i am home"

"So..."

"Derek...i am not going anywhere, i am staying here in Seattle, i have another six months before i go back to work, and i can run the foundation from here" Mer told him. "That is if you want me here" she teased, laughing slightly. Derek leans down and captures her lips with his own.

"I would love nothing more, Meredith"

"Me either" Mer says with a smiles, the kiss starts to get a little heated, until they hear someone clearing the throat, they both look up to see Dr Wheeler.

"So doc can i go home?" Meredith says bluntly, Derek laughs lightly.

"All of your scans have come back here, and Dr Torres is happy with the healing of your leg and ribs. I think you can go home this afternoon, but you need someone with you at all times, at least for the next week. Any headaches, i want you to come straight back here to see me, you had major brain surgery Miss Grey, i will send in Dr Scott to discharge you" Wheeler said with a smile, before leaving her room. Derek smiles at her, pulling her in for a kiss.

"I will go and inform Webber that i am taking some more time off, and get changed and i will be back in about 15 minutes, i love you"

"Derek" Mer says has he get closer to the door.

"Yeah" he said turning to her.

"Keep the scrubs, they are really sexy" she tells him.

"Okay" he says flashing her his trademark smile before leaving her alone in the hospital room, Meredith couldn't wait to get back to his apartment and finally start living her life with him, Derek Shepherd, the love of her life.


	36. Chapter 39

**Some fluff. Enjoy!**

Meredith was discharged later that day, she was still waiting for Derek to get back so that they could get out of here, the intern that was in her room, was annoying her, she did not want the wheelchair and there was no way that she was leaving the hospital in that thing, Derek entered the room with a huge smile on his face, she was finally coming home to him, and he couldn't help but smile at her having a go at the poor intern. Meredith looked up and saw Derek entering the room.

"Finally...now you can tell this jackass that i am not leaving the hospital in a wheelchair, i don't need a wheelchair"

"Actually Mer, you do..." Derek told her and Meredith glared at him. "It is hospital policy, Mer"

"Get Richard"

"Meredith, you have two choices, you can either go in the wheelchair or i will carry you out the hospital"

"You wouldn't dare" Meredith told him. Derek turns to the intern.

"Dr Pearce, would you mind carrying the crutches and my bag out to my car, while i sort out my stubborn girlfriend"

"Yes, Dr Shepherd" he sputters out. Derek quick lefts Meredith off the bed, and into his arms, she starts hitting him with her ineffectual fists.

"Derek, put me down. Now"

"Mer"

"Fine, i will sit in the damn chair" Meredith huffed out.

"That's my girl" Derek said laughing before putting her into the wheelchair.

"Thank you Dr Pearce, i can take it from here" he told him after giving Meredith a quick kiss on the forehead. "Come on Mer, let's get you home".

------------------------------------------------------------------

They pulled up outside Derek's apartment complex, Mer felt her heart doing a flip, she hadn't been here since that night Mark came, she couldn't believe that that was almost a year ago, they had been through so much in that 10 months. Meredith found herself feeling nervous, and she couldn't understand why not after everything. Meredith didn't notice Derek opening the door to her side of the car, until Derek placed a hand on Meredith's shoulder, making her jump.

"Didn't mean to scare you, Mer"

"You didn't" Meredith said giving him a smile, has she climbed out of the car with Derek's help. Derek quickly lifted her up in his arms.

"Derek"

"Meredith" Derek said crashing his lips against her, before quickly pulling away. "Now what was you saying?"

"I don't remember"

"I thought you would say that" Derek said has they reached the entrance. Once the got up into the apartment . Derek put Meredith on the sofa, and gently kissed her.

"Welcome home, Mer" Derek said with a hugr grin.

"Thanks, now where i am sleeping?

"I was kind of hoping that you sleep in with me, but it up to you"

"Derek, i can't sleep without you, so your bed it will be"

"Our bed" Derek said.

"Our bed" Meredith said happily, knowing that she was home where she belongs. Derek sat down next to her, pulling her into his arms, and gently kissing the top of her head.

"Coffee, and food?"

"I thought you would never ask" Mer said and Derek laughed before going into the kitchen to make them coffee.

"Anything specific to eat Mer?"

"As long as it taste better than that hospital food, i don't care" Mer calls back, seeing Derek coming out with two steaming cup of coffees.

"Oh...i love you"

"Is that why because i bring you coffee?" Derek said teasingly, Meredith basks in feeling his arms around her, knowing that they won't be disturbed by doctors or nurses. Meredith looks up and kisses Derek gently, Derek took the coffee out of her hands, before wrapping his arms tighter around her, and Derek parts his lips slightly, giving Meredith a chance to deepen the kiss. Derek runs his fingers through her hair, moaning slightly.


	37. Chapter 40

**We learn a little more about what happened to Mer, I still haven't quite figured out how I am going to get rid of Mark yet.**

"_Is that why because i bring you coffee?" Derek said teasingly, Meredith basks in feeling his arms around her, knowing that they won't be disturbed by doctors or nurses. Meredith looks up and kisses Derek gently, Derek took the coffee out of her hands, before wrapping his arms tighter around her, and Derek parts his lips slightly, giving Meredith a chance to deepen the kiss. Derek runs his fingers through her hair, moaning slightly._

Meredith only pulls away only when the need to air becomes great. They rest their forehead together and look into each other eyes, the mirrors of each other, all the love that they felt for each other reflected in their eyes.

"I have been waiting two months to kiss you like that" Meredith told him.

"I know....me too" Meredith reassured him.

"I was so scared i lost you, when Susanna said she couldn't find you, it felt like my whole world stopped, that it was falling apart" Derek was honest with her.

"I am so sorry i made you feel like that"

"Mer, I need to ask you something only if you feel up to it" Meredith nods her head.

"Why didn't you get the bodyguard? You promised me, you would" Derek asked her gently.

"I did, Derek, but that day i had no plans to go out and since the apartment was in your sisters name, i knew he wouldn't be able to find me, i was unpacking but i was missing my high school graduation photo, it was the last photo i had of me and my parents before they died, how stupid of me, Mark should have been at work, without even knowing that i was in the house" Meredith hold him, holding him tighter, as the tears came. She was so scared that he was going to walk away from her.

"Meredith, that understandable, but you should have taken him with you" Derek told her careful not to reproach her.

"I know, i am so sorry"

"Mer, it is not your fault" Derek said, placing his hand under her chin, and lifting her head up so she could look at him.

"Listen to me, i don't blame you, if i blame anyone it is that bastard, okay?"

"Derek...?"

"Okay?"

"Okay" Mer nodded giving him a small smile.

"Meredith, i need to know something?"

"You can ask whatever you want" Meredith told him

"You promised me that you would get a bodyguard. Why didn't you?"

"I did Derek, but that day i told him that i didn't need him, the apartment was in your sisters names, i knew that there was no way he could find me, so i gave David the day off. I was unpacking and missing was a photo of me and parents on my high school graduations, it was the last photo i had taken of me and parents, i know i was stupid to go to the house on my own..."

"But you couldn't help it..."

"It was mid afternoon, Mark should have been a work and he was...i was only there for five minutes, Derek, i had just reached the bottom step when he came in and locked me in" Meredith says, the tears running down her face, Derek holds her closer and kisses her so gently, a kiss that was full of love.

"Mer, you do not need to go through any of this, i promise"

"I need to Derek, just promise me one thing"

"Anything"

"Promise me you won't leave me?"

"Meredith Ellis Grey, i love you more than anything, and i cannot imagine my life without you, i am not going anywhere i promise you"

"I know but i need to do this now Derek while i am brave enough to tell you" Meredith says with a small smile.

"Okay, what happened?" Derek asked her gently.

"I had just reached the bottom of the stairs when he walked in and locked the door. Before i knew it slapped me hard and i went flying, i was so scared that i wouldn't see you again. I started to retreat into myself like i use to but then i remembered that i had to try and protect our child, i didn't want him taking another child away from me and especially our child" Meredith says sobbing, Derek repositions himself so he can comfort her, letting her cry in his arms.

"He pushed me down the stairs about four years ago, i was pregnant"

"Oh, Mer" Derek kissed her gently on the top of her.

"When i first found out that i was pregnant i knew i was going to have an abortion, it was the only way i could protect him, and I couldn't bring a baby into this world when I was living with Mark, but i couldn't go through with it, i decided to leave Mark. He came home from the office early, and found me packing, and we got into a huge fight. When i told him i was pregnant, the fight got worse, as i reached the top of the stairs, he came after me, pulling and pushing me, and pushed me down the stairs" Meredith got out before crying even harder. Derek wanted to kill the bastard. "I tried so hard to protect our baby, Derek"

"Sshh...Meredith it is not your fault...you need to stop blaming yourself"

"Yeah...but if i didn't go back to the house, for a damn photograph, i wouldn't have lost our child"

"Mer...stop...i love you" Derek lifts Meredith up onto his lap, careful of her plastered leg, and Meredith clung to him, crying and while Derek just held her. Once Meredith calmed down, Derek carried her into their bedroom, and laid her on the bed, before climbing in next to her, holding her close, and tightly until she fell asleep in his arms.

"I love you Meredith, and i am so sorry for everything" He said gently pushing her hair behind her ears, and kissed her gently.


	38. Chapter 41

**Enjoy!**

Over the next month, they had managed to fit into a routine; Meredith's plaster on her leg had been taken off and she was given a boot instead, making it so much easier to move around the apartment, and to get out and about. Meredith was in their bedroom, it was their first date since Meredith had been in Seattle and she was looking forward to it, not that they ever really went out on a date before. Meredith was putting on the last bit of makeup, when she heard Derek come home.

"Mer..."

"I'm in the bedroom"

"Hey" Derek says walking over to her giving her a kiss.

"You are looking very beautiful Mer"

"Thanks, but this thing on my leg don't help"

"Are you sure you want to this tonight? I don't mind waiting until your leg is totally heeled" Derek told her.

"I want to do this Derek; i need to do it"

"Okay, i love you"

"I love you too" Mer says has Derek gives her a quick kiss on the stop of her head before pulling his jumper off and walking into the bathroom. Meredith hears the shower go on, her mind wanders to all the sex they have had in shower across three continents, and Meredith would feel herself getting wet. They hadn't made love since the accident, has they had come to call it, Derek was terrified of hurting her, and the leg hadn't help, but Meredith couldn't help but wonder if it was her, that he did blame her for losing their baby, she shook her head knowing that she was being silly, but a part of her couldn't get over the idea that someone has wonderful has Derek was, wanted to be with her, she didn't think she was worth it.

"I hope we aren't putting ourselves down again" Derek said from behind her.

"What? Of course not"

"Why don't i believe you, Meredith?"

"I...don't..." Derek leans down and kisses her.

"Right Mer, our reservations are in an hour we need to get moving soon, so i am going to get dressed, and i have a present was you tonight, so stop putting yourself down and remember how much i love you, because i do Meredith, and if i need to remind you of that every hour of every day then i will"

"Okay" Mer said with a smile, watching has Derek walked back into the bathroom. Ten minutes later Meredith was stood in the lounge waiting for Derek. He walked out of the bedroom, to see Mer standing there with her hair in soft waves and a long blue dress.

"Wow...you do look stunning Mer" Derek said leaning down and kissing her gently, Derek places his hand on the small of her back and guides her out of the apartment, and down to his car.

"So where are you taking me?"

"That is a surprise"

"Derek..."

"I know you don't like surprises but you will like this i promise" Derek says leaning over and kissing her. About 10 minutes later, they pull up to the ferryboats; Derek helps her out of the car, and onto the deck. "Have i ever told you i have a thing for ferryboats?" he whispered in her ears, has he stood behind her with his arms wrapped around her waist.

"I believe you have"

"It very intense this thing i have for ferryboats and for you" Derek reminded her, nibbling gently on her neck. Meredith turned and face him, kissing him gently and resting their heads together, they made their way down to the car, and ten minutes after leaving the ferry, they pull up to a small restaurant.

"Here we are Mer. I discovered this restaurant a few days ago, so i though it would be perfect for us to have something to eat before i have something to show you at little later" Derek wraps his arm around her and walks into the restaurant.


	39. Chapter 42

**Enjoy!**

After dinner, Meredith was expecting to go back forwards the ferryboats and she was surprised when they headed in the opposite direction.

"Derek, where are we going?" Mer wonders.

"This is the surprise Meredith, you will have to wait and see, and that is what a surprise means"

"I know what a surprise is Derek" Meredith snapped back at him. "Sorry"

"We are almost here now" Derek says pulling onto a dirt road, before stopping.

"Derek, where are we?" Meredith said looking around, Derek hands her a jacket, and a sneaker.

"Put them on, and i will show you exactly why i brought you out here"

"You are being all mysterious, Derek" Meredith said, Derek just smiled, before getting out of the car, Derek walked around Meredith's side, and scooped her up in his arms. "Derek, what are you doing?"

"Well, it is a little bit of a walk and i don't want you to hurt yourself"

"Derek what are you up too?" Meredith said to him, Derek kissed her to shut her up. "You have to stop doing that?"

"Doing what?" Derek grinned at her.

"Kissing me to shut me up"

"Nah i like kissing you Meredith" Derek said before settling her down on her feet. She finds herself looking over to a gorgeous view of Seattle, Meredith opened her mouth to speak but Derek's lips crashing on her, took her breath away. Meredith found herself wrapping his arms around his neck, deepening the kiss until Derek pulls away.

"So, what do you think?"

"I think it a beautiful view, Derek, how on earth did you find this"

"This is all mine Mer, this land, all forty acres of it, i brought it a couple of years ago but never knew exactly what i wanted to do with it until i met you"

"What do you mean?"

"Meredith, turn around" Derek tells her, Meredith looks ahead to see a house.

"Derek" Meredith says in shock.

"Ever since i met you at that conference, which was almost a year ago now Mer, i knew that one way or another you would be in my life. We have been through so much to get to this point; i just wish that none of it involved you getting hurt. Meredith Grey, i want you to move in with me, not in my apartment but here in our home, this house is just has much your's has it is mine, and i want us to build our life together here, in our home. So Meredith Grey will you live with me?"

"Derek, i don't know what to say" Meredith is still in shock, at the wonderful things he had just said to her.

"Yes, would be a start"

"Yes, Derek" Meredith says with a smile, she throws her arms around him; Derek picks her up kissing her.

"Well do you want a tour?"

"I would love a tour" Meredith said walking toward and holding her hand out to him, Derek takes Meredith's hand in his, as they walk towards the house.

/lh/listing/United_States/Washington/Bainbridge_Island/fe4e0490-94db-4bea-be47-7e6e633d39be

After looking around the house, Meredith fell in love with it, and couldn't believe that Derek had designed this house, with her in mind, it brought tears to her eyes, not believing that she was worth all this.

"Hey, what the tears for?" Derek said gently.

"I can't believe you did all this because of me"

"You inspired me Meredith"

"Okay Derek that is a little cheesy" Mer said with a giggle.

"Maybe, but Mer until i met you it felt like i was drowning and you save me, you were like coming up for fresh air. I fell in love with you from the moment i met you" Derek says gently has the tears ran down her cheeks.

"I don't deserve you"

"Mer, after everything that has happened you deserve everything good that happens to you, and i mean that" Derek kisses her gently, Meredith deepens it, pulling closer to her until every inch of their bodies are touching, Meredith can feel his erection pressing against her stomach, Derek pulls away.

"Mer, we need to stop...we can't..."

"Derek, we haven't had sex since i come home from the hospital, i want you"

"I want you too, but Mer i don't want to hurt you" Derek admits to her.

"Derek you aren't going to hurt me, i promise" Meredith tries to reassure him.

"Meredith, i can't not until Torres clears you, i am terrified of hurting you and you do still have a broken leg" Derek tries to reason with her

"Derek..."

"Mer...I'm sorry but i can't" Derek says with a sad smile. "Come on Mer; let's go home, shall we?"

"Yeah"

"I love you Meredith"

"I love you too" Meredith says following him outside the house, Derek carries Meredith back to the car and heads back to the apartment.


	40. Chapter 43

A week after Derek showed Meredith the house; they were sitting in the lawyer office, waiting for Meredith's lawyer to show up. Derek made sure that Meredith had one of the best lawyers on the West Coast, which is why they drove all the way to Spokane. Derek knew that Meredith would need the best money could buy when it came to dealing with Mark. Derek glanced over at Meredith to see her playing with her watching, something he had come to realise she did when she was nervous. Derek reached over and look her hands in his, Meredith smiled gently at him.

"Mer...What's wrong?"

"I'm scared Derek...what if he doesn't agree to this?"

"Meredith, no court in their right mind will make you stay married to him, especially after what he did to you"

"You don't know that Mark can be very persuasive Derek, i know that better than anyone" Derek shoots his chair closer to her and places a arm around her shoulder and pulls her in close to him.

"Meredith, look at me" Derek tells her, Meredith slowly looks up at him. "Whatever happens Mer, you are not on your own I promise you...we will deal with this together, okay?"

"I am just so use to dealing with this stuff on my own, and I don't mean to shut you out"

"I know you are Meredith, but you don't have to anymore, I am with you every step of the way, and you are doing amazing Meredith" Derek assured her giving her a kiss on the head, just has her lawyer walking into the room.

"Derek, Meredith, thanks for coming her on short notice"

"Is everything okay, Michael?" Derek asked, still holding on to Meredith.

"Well, the good news, the legal separation papers have been accepted by the courts in New York, and Mark and his lawyers are not contesting it, which is good"

"Right and the bad news?" Meredith asks, clinging onto Derek.

"Mark will agree to a divorce on the grounds of his unreasonable behaviour, but only if Meredith lives in New York for the next year"

"Unreasonable behaviour, he almost killed her" Derek could feel himself getting angry.

"Okay, I think we might be able to manage that" Meredith said squeezing Derek's hand.

"There is another condition, and one that I don't think that either of you are going to like"

"What is it?" Mer asks, almost terrified of what the answer would be.

"Meredith you must live the next year in New York alone and break off any ties with Derek"

"Excuse me" Derek almost exploded, until he looked over at Meredith who was sobbing her heart out, Derek pulls her closed.

"I'm sorry" Derek murmured in her ear.

"Listen we will leave the rest of it for today, I suggest Meredith you go home and think about this, but my suggestion is that we don't give in to any of his demands, because of the severe personal risk of Mr James to Ms Grey. If we can reschedule this appointment for two days time, give you two, time to discuss this, if you do have any questions, either of you, than call me, anytime, in the office or at home"

"Thanks you Michael"

"Derek its fine, you did save my life"

"I really do appreciate it though Michael, we will see you on Wednesday" Derek said shaking his hand, before guiding Meredith outside his office. Meredith walked out of the lawyer's office, clinging to Derek but not saying a word. One the journey back to Seattle, Meredith just sit there looking out of the car window, at the scenery has they go by, not saying a word. Derek knows to let Meredith go, she will talk to him, has they pull up to Derek's apartment block, Meredith makes no move to get out of the car, she just sit in the seat staring into space.

"Meredith...we are home" Derek says, gently, but not getting a response from Meredith. Derek walks over to Meredith side of the car, and lifts her out of the car, Meredith just buries her head in his chest, has he carries her up the stairs and once in the apartment, he lies her down on the bed, before getting up.

"Don't leave me" Meredith murmured slightly. Derek goes around to his side of the bed, and lies down next to her, taking her in arms, and pulling her close.

"I am not going anywhere Meredith, I love you" he says kissing her on top of the head.


	41. Chapter 44

**Instead of leaving you waiting, I will post another update today. I think most of you will like this. Enjoy!**

The next afternoon Derek was pacing the kitchen, Meredith hadn't said a word since she asked him not to leave the night before, he found himself getting frustrated, he was ready to get on the first flight to New York and sort this out, but he knew it would make the situation worse, for them, after all the excitement of the past week, it felt like they were finally moving ahead with their lives, and Derek would not let this set them back, there was no way he was going to let her move to New York on her own, if she was going than so was he. Derek heard a scream coming from the bedroom, Derek dropped his cup and ran into the bedroom to find Meredith trashing about on the bed.

"No...Mark..Please...No" Meredith screamed in her sleep, Derek rushed to her side, and tried calming her down.

"Mer...Wake up" Derek whispered gently in her ear. "You are safe now baby".

"Mark...Please..."

"Meredith" Derek called her name loudly, before she woke up with a jump, with tears streaming down her face, Derek wraps his arms around him, and holds her, as she cries in his arms.

"I don't want to go back to New York on my own Derek" she sobbed into his t-shirt.

"Meredith, I am not letting you go back to New York, if you do go back it will be letting him win, and we are not doing that. We will make sure he gets what coming to him, I promise"

"I'm scared, Derek"

"I know, Mer. Whatever happens we are in this together okay? All Mark wants is control of the situation and we are not going to give it to him"

"Okay" Mer said quietly.

"How about tonight i cook dinner and we sit down and watch a movie?"

"Derek, you cooked dinner every night" Meredith said with a giggle, Derek leant down and kissed her.

"That what I missed hearing; you giggle, i find it completely adorable"

"Mark hated it"

"Well that doesn't matter now, does it"

"No...Derek let's just order in, i just want to curl up with you on the sofa watching a movie"

"Okay, what do you want?"

"Pizza and beer"

"Pizza and beer, okay well the beer is in the kitchen and i guess you can choose a movie, while i go and order us a pizza" Derek said kissing her gently.

"Okay" Meredith said kissing him back. As Derek walked out into the lounge, his phone rang.

"Hey Michael"

"Hey Derek, how is she?"

"Not good, she only just spoken to me since yesterday"

"Well, you don't have to worry about it so much now, I have spoken to his lawyer and he got Mr James to withdraw the condition considering the weren't actually legal"

"Oh thank god for that" Derek said in relief.

"Well, and other good news...is Meredith there?"

"No I go and get her"

"It alright i am here" Meredith said, from behind Derek, and took the phone of him.

"Hi Michael"

"Meredith, I have some good news, I will let Derek tell you what I just told him. NYPD and the DA office have decided to carry on and press charges against your husband, for assault, battery and attempted murder"

"Oh...god" Meredith murmured quietly, leaning back into Derek's chest.

"Listen, I have booked you in for a appointment for tomorrow afternoon, at 3 o clock, i will see you then" Meredith hands Derek back his phone, and cries into his shirt, Derek holds her, Meredith can feel at the tension coming out of her, knowing that finally she will be able to move on with her life with Derek. She is terrified of having to face him in court but she knows that it is only one step than hopefully he would be out of her life altogether.


	42. Chapter 45

**How much do you guys love me You are very lucky to get this today, since i was working last night and working tonight, since i woke up early i though i would finish, type this update up and instead of making you wait until tomorrow. This update has a little bit of everything in it, Cristina, the chief and we welcome back an old friend, and come cute MerDer at the end. Enjoy!**

Since the meeting with the lawyer, the week before, Derek had noticed a difference in Meredith. She was a lot more relaxed, and not so negative about herself, it seemed to him that the news about Mark facing prison, had brought out a more confident Meredith, one that Derek was not use too but one that he liked. They were on their way to the hospital to hopefully get rid of the boot, it had been 6 weeks since the accident has they came to call it. Meredith was praying that Torres would remove the boot, and tell her that her leg was healed, Meredith really wanted sex, she had missed Derek in that way and after three months of going without it, she was really horny. She didn't tell Derek, but she knew that he would get up several times in the night for cold showers, she really want to feel him inside of her.

Once they pulled up into the parking lot, they saw Cristina leaving the hospital, and Meredith called her over.

"What are you doing here Mer?"

"Hopefully getting rid of this horrible thing" Meredith said, pointing down to her boot"

"Getting in the way of your sex life" Cristina said while Derek looked in the opposite direction.

"Cristina"

"What i am not getting any and you do still get cranky when you were horny, and you have been cranky a lot later"

"Dr Yang" Derek says in disbelief.

"What McDreamy it true and you are moody as hell too. Look i am going to Joe's later, if you want to join us"

"I will let you know, okay"

"Okay, I will be there from 8, if you decided to join us"

"Okay" Meredith said with a smile, before turning back to Derek. "Derek let's get this over with"

"Yeah" Derek said with a smile taking Meredith's hand, and walking into the hospital.

----------------------------------------------

After her appointment with Torres, who agreed to let her take the boot off, happy that thy way her leg had healed, Meredith was glad to finally be free of the boot. Meredith knew that Derek had a couple of patients to check on, and while he did that, she decided to go and visit Richard. She knew that they were due a board meeting for the foundation soon, and she just hoped that she could persuade everyone to meet in Seattle, rather than New York; she wasn't quite ready to face New York yet. Richard's secretary wasn't at her desk which was odd, but Meredith knocked on his door, and hearing Richard calling her to come in.

"Hey Richard" Meredith said walking into his office, and seeing him with a small back woman. "I am so sorry to interrupt your meeting"

"Meredith, its fine. We are done here" Richard says, Meredith gasps has she realises who the woman is.

"Bailey?" she says in shock.

"Meredith. How's Derek?"

"He is fine, he is checking on a couple of his patients. I am waiting for him to finish. What are you doing here?"

"So, you too know each other?" Richard interrupted.

"Bailey is an old friend of Derek and we met in Africa, while Derek was with Doctor's without Boarders"

"Bailey is our new head of General surgery"

"Congratulations"

"Well, Dr Bailey we will see you on Monday" Richard said shaking her hand. "And welcome to Seattle Grace"

"Thank you Dr Webber" Bailey says, before turning to Meredith. "We will have to catch up soon"

"I look forward to it Miranda" Meredith says with a smiles before she leave the chief office and Meredith is left alone with Richard.

"So, Meredith, take a seat. What can i do for you?" Meredith sits in the seat opposite him.

"I wanted to talk about the board meeting that is coming up soon, i wanted to know if you could talk to the board member about holding the meeting here in Seattle"

"Meredith, i have already spoken to them, and it has been agreed that we will hold the meeting here in Seattle. Are you aware that Dr Jackson resigned from the board?"

"I wasn't but that isn't a surprise, he was a friend of Mark's"

"Well, we have a opening for a new neurosurgeon on the board, and i have someone in mind if you would agree"

"Who?"

"Derek, with his latest trial, he has made medical history and i think he could be really good"

"I was thinking about Derek, but i will need to put it pass him first"

"Of course, Meredith. Anyway how are things between you and Derek?"

"It's good, Richard, he has been wonderfully patient"

"He really loves you Meredith, any fool can see that, i just hope you feel the same way, and not just because he rescued you from Mark, I think of Derek like a son, and you like a daughter, i don't want to see either of you getting hurt"

"Richard thanks for your concern but i can assure you i love Derek more than anything" Meredith said before her cell phone interrupted her, she looks at it and sees that it is Derek.

"Excuse me Richard" Mer says flipping open her phone. "Hey"

"Hey, i am waiting for you by the nurse's station"

"Okay, I'll be there in five minutes"

"Okay, i love you"

"I love you too" Meredith says back, closing her phone. "Thanks Richard, Derek waiting for me" Meredith walked out of his office and across the surgical floor, she could here the nurse's and some of the doctor's gossiping about her and Derek. She saw Derek leaning against the nurse's station, damn that man looked hot when he leaned, she could feel herself getting wet, just at the site of him, and didn't know how she was going to wait until they got home. Derek sees her and he throws her a smile, Meredith walked up to him, and wraps her arms around his neck, and kisses him.

"Take me home Derek" Meredith says against his lips. Derek kisses her back and wraps his arms around her waist and walking towards the elevator. Neither of them noticed Richard in the distance, smiling, happy that they had found each other.

**Hot MerDer coming up next.**


	43. Chapter 46

**What everyone has been waiting for, six pages of MerDer porn, and a little baby talk. Enjoy!**

Derek pulled up to the parking lot of his apartment building; throughout the 10 minute journey from the hospital to his apartment Meredith had been teasing him, and his cock was straining in his jeans; he was surprised they didn't crash considering how distracted it made him.

"Meredith, you need to stop because otherwise, we won't make it into the apartment"

"Well, we could..." Mer started before trailing off and biting her bottom lip.

"Get out of the car" Derek tells her forcibly. Meredith looks at him with wide eyes. "Mer, if we don't get out of this car now, I will be making love to you with the whole world watching.

"I didn't realise you were an exhibitionist "

"Meredith," Derek groans, has she run her fingers over the tip of his cock.

"Get out" Meredith doesn't need telling twice, they make it to the apartment building and into the elevator to finding another couple already in there. Derek stands behind Meredith in front of him, to hide is raging cock, and gives them a smile. Meredith grinds her ass against his cock, making Derek almost take her there and then and damn the other couple in the elevator.

"You are pure evil, Meredith Grey" Derek whispers in her ear, his hand going underneath her shirt, and running the tip of his finger over her nipple.

"You love it" she threw back at him.

The elevator pinged at their floor and they couldn't get off it quick enough, once the elevator doors closed, Meredith was in Derek's arms, her legs wrapped around his waist, their lips crashed together kissing has Derek attempted to open the door, he finally managed to open the door, and once inside the apartment, he slammed her up again the door"

"So, glad that you decided to wear a skirt today" Derek went to pull her panties off to find that she didn't have any on.

"No panties" Meredith smirked at him.

"Though it would be easier"

Derek quickly undid his jeans, and pulled them down along with his boxers, his lips not leaving her, as he entered her. Derek finally tore his lips away from her, stopping and staring into her eyes.

"Finally" they both whisper at the same time, finally feeling connected, the way they did when they made love.

"I love you so much" Meredith told him

"I love you too Meredith, i really should move, and go and get a condom before we go any further.

"Derek, i want to feel you inside of me. I want you to cum inside of me" Meredith said nibbling on his ear lobe.

"Okay" Derek said, starting to move inside of her, has he thrusted into her, hard and harder, Derek wanted to make love to her, but he knew that would have to wait. he wanted her to much to go slow right now, it had been too long.

"Oh...Harder..."

"Oh...Mer..."

"Derek..." Meredith called out his name.

"Meredith" Derek shouted has he came inside her, and Meredith came right after, Meredith collapsed against Derek, trying to catch her breath, either of them could move. They had both missed this so much, three months was way too long. Derek pulled out of her still pining her to the back of the front door.

"I don't think i can move" Derek murmured in her ear. Meredith turned them both around so that Derek is pinned against the door

"Derek...I want to try something?"

"Anything Mer" Derek said still breathless.

"It has been a long time, so i am sorry if i don't do this right"

"Meredith" Derek says has she drops to her knees, still careful of her leg, before taking his already waiting cock in to her mouth, swirling her tongue around his hard thick shaft, Meredith places her hands on Derek's pelvis, to steady herself, has she taken his whole length into her mouth.

"Meredith..." Derek moans, has her tongue, and licks off the pre-cum from the head of his cock.

Meredith continues to suck and use her tongue over his cock until Derek finds himself spilling into her mouth and Meredith licked him clean, she stood up to face him, and he picked her up and carried her to the bedroom. Laying her down on the bed, he pulled his shirt over his head, before kissing her hard, kissing and nipping at her neck, over her collar bone, taking her nipple in his mouth and swirling his tongue around it, before paying attention to her other nipple. Derek works his way down to over her abdomen that once housed their child, Derek kissed every inch of her stomach, telling her how beautiful she was, Meredith could feel the tears in her eyes but pushed them away, has his tongue worked her clit, before plunging his tongue inside of her hot wet core, that was ready and waiting for him.

"Derek" she called out, as his tongue alternated between her clit and plunging his tongue inside of her. Derek placed two fingers inside of her, before replacing his fingers with his tongue. Meredith grabs the sheet on the bed, her clit pulsating under Derek skilful tongue.

"Oh...god..." Meredith can feel her body beginning to tremble has her orgasm starts.

"DEREK..." Meredith screams has she spills into Derek mouth, Derek licks her clean, before coming up and kissing her, letting her taste herself on him.

"I have missed this" Meredith admits to him, Meredith had never needed a man the way that she need Derek.

"I have too Meredith" Derek said burying his head in her hair, and smelling the lavender, the only smell that he wants to smell for the rest of his life. "The house will be ready to move into next month"

"Yeah" Mer said with a smile.

"Yeah" Derek said with a smile, kissed her gently, Meredith deepens the kiss, and her fingers run through Derek dark curls, has Derek rolls on top on her, his cock already waiting to enter her once again.

"Are you sure about no condom Mer? It will be the second time tonight"

"Derek i have been on the pill for the last month"

"Yes I know, but you on the pill before and you still got pregnant"

"Don't you want children?" Meredith said quietly, afraid of the answer.

"Mer...Of course i do, but once Mark is out of the picture, after everything we have been through these past few months, i want to enjoy you. And, I'm sorry if that seems selfish, but i am not ready to share you yet, but if you did get pregnant i would be over the moon, Meredith"

"Okay, I'm sorry i just really want a baby"

"I know huni" Derek said gently caressing her cheek with his thumb. "We will talk about it, but not now"

"Yeah, i love you Derek Shepherd"

"And i love you Meredith Grey"

"Derek make love to me" Meredith said, Derek slowly entered her, allowing her to adjust to his size, before moving inside of her, Meredith's nails digging into his back and Derek sucks on the spot that only he knew, the spot that drove her wild. He takes a nipple into his mouth and swirling his tongue around it. Meredith arched her back off the bed, as Derek kept thrusting in and out of her.

"Derek..."

"Meredith..." Derek called out her name.

"Oh...Derek" Meredith said a little louder

"Mer...Fuck"

"DEREK"

"MEREDITH" Derek screamed out, has Meredith's wall collapsed around his cock.

"DEREK" Meredith screamed as she came around her. Derek gently collapsed on top of her, careful not to hurt, kissing her as he stayed inside of her, until he slipped out of her.

"Wow..." Meredith said, curling into Derek's chest and Derek holding her close, kissing her on the head, before slowly drifting of next to her.


	44. Chapter 47

**Finally an update, hopefully my writer block has passed, I have had a lot of my mind this week. I am not back at work until Wednesday so fingers crossed I should be able to update regularly. Enjoy!**

Over a month had passed, they finally moved into the house, two weeks before, enjoying the fact that they had no neighbours, they had christened every room in the house, and several places over their land. So far everything had been good, they had to go to New York, in a couple of days, it was the hearing for Meredith divorce, Derek knew that Meredith was nervous about going back to New York, but since Mark was still in jail waiting for his trial date, she would be safe. Derek walked into the kitchen to find Meredith slumped over the table.

"Mer..." Derek said gently, Meredith lifted her head, Derek could tell she had been crying.

"What's wrong?"

"It stupid"

"Mer...what is it?"

"After everything that happened and what he did, you would think i should be happy about the divorce, i am but..."

"It feels like you failed" Meredith nodded.

"I know, Mer"

"I'm sorry"

"Mer...don't. Not many people know this but i was married for my last two year of my residency"

"Excuse me"

"You remember Addison"

"Yeah, well we went out during our residency, we went out for four years and we were both happy, both of our families expected us to get engaged and married, so we did. We were married two years, and it was the worse two years of both of our lives, we were both miserable, we knew that it wasn't what we wanted, so when i was offered the attending position at Seattle, and she was offered one in Los Angeles, it gave us both the escape we needed. We were always better as friends, and when our divorce came through i felt like a failure, that maybe i didn't work hard enough at it, but the truth was there was nothing between us, and when Mark told me that his was seeing Addison, i was happy for them. I loved Addison, and still do, but just has friends, i never loved her like i love you, and i know that now"

"I am not sorry about my marriage ending, i don't know what it is" she admitted to him.

"Meredith, you are allowed to be upset. No matter what he did to you, at one time you loved him, and he wasn't always like that"

"No, he wasn't, it all changed after we got married, but i know i never loved him, it was just after my parents died and he looked after me, well looking back now, i can see how controlling he was even then, but i was vulnerable, and he took advantage of that. I needed someone to look after me, to be loved, and i was so desperate for that, that the first guy to pay be that attention i fell for"

"I wished i met you then, that i could have been the one to look after you" Derek said gently, holding her close to him.

"Me too, Derek" Meredith said with a small smile, she kissed him gently on the lips, Derek deepened it, and Meredith moved so she was straddling him. "I love you"

"I love you too, Meredith, so much" Derek said kissing her, hard, Meredith gently moved over his cock, and slowly moved her hips over him, she could feel him get bigger, through his pants. Meredith hands went down to his sweat pants, and put her hand down, to take his cock in her hand, her hand pumping up and down his shaft.

"Mere" Derek moaned gently, has Meredith continued, she slowly slid her herself of his lap, she was knelt on the floor, Meredith pull on the waistband of his sweats, and pulled them down, before taking his cock, in her mouth, as Meredith wrapped her mouth around his cock, licked off the pre-cum, and took him completely in her mouth.

"Mer..." Meredith's tongue swirled around his cock, Derek could feel himself ready to shoot his cum into her mouth, and Derek tried to hold off until he couldn't anymore. "Mer...I'm cumming" Derek shouted as he spilt his cum into her mouth, she licked him clean, and coming up to kiss him, Derek could taste him on her, Derek quickly cleared the dining room table, and placed Meredith on the edge of it, Derek took took his shirt off her, so she was sat before him, naked. Derek kicked off his boxers and sweats, and took his t-shirt off, Derek gently laid Meredith down on the table, and pulled her forward him, has he got down on his knees, gently running his fingers along her clit, and gently massaging her clit, before running her tongue over it already swelling folds.

"God, Mer...you are so wet" Mer gave him a small smile, before Derek fingers, started to move inside of her, and alternative using his tongue, Meredith could feel her body starting to tremble.

"Derek" Mer calls out.

"That's it baby" Derek said, feeling her clit swollen, he uses his tongue, Meredith grabs the sides of the table.

"DEREK" Mer screamed as she came, her body trembling. "Oh...fuck..." Mer panted out, Derek quickly stood up, his cock already waiting to enter her, he quickly pushes inside of her.

"God...Mer... you feel so good" Derek said.

"So do you, fuck me Derek"

"Anything you wish" Derek repositioned her, so she is face down, and re-enters her, from behind, hard and fast.

"Oh...Derek" Mer called out, has he continued to pound into her, kissing the back of her head, Meredith moved her head, so Derek should reach the spot, that drove her wild.

"Mer..."

"Derek...Please..."

"Meredith...oh god..."

"DEREK" Mer screamed has he hit her g-spot, and she couldn't hold off any longer, her walls collapsing around him.

"MEREDITH" Derek screams has he released into her, both of them panting, catching their breaths. Derek pulls out of her, Meredith turns around to face him, and slowly sits up.

"That was...amazing Der" Meredith said kissing him, Derek picks her up, Meredith wraps her legs around him, Derek carries her up to their bedroom, and made love to her.


	45. Chapter 48

**I am not 100% happy with this update, let me know what you think.**

Meredith woke up the next morning to an empty bed; she hated waking up without Derek by her side. Meredith shook her head, she knew how crazy that sounded, she never needed Mark or anyone else the way that she needed Derek. Meredith come to realise that she loved Derek more than she ever knew was possible and that scared her. This wasn't her and it wasn't the person that she, she was used to being independent, no matter what Mark put her thought. Meredith pulled on her robe and walked out of the bedroom, and down the stairs into the kitchen, Meredith stood in the doorway watching Derek stood at the stove, singing along to The Clash. She just stood there watching him, Derek woke up that morning before Meredith, she looked so peaceful sleeping that Derek didn't want to disturb her. He leant over and kissed her, before climbing out of bed, and walked down to the kitchen, planning on surprising her with breakfast in bed.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Derek noticed Meredith standing in the doorway of the kitchen from the corner of his eye. He flashed her; their smile, Meredith smiled back and walked over to him, giving him a kiss and Derek wrapped his arm around her.

"Hey, what you doing up?" he asked her, hoping to surprise her with breakfast in bed.

"The bed got cold" she told him.

"I wanted to surprise you with breakfast in bed"

"Sorry" Mer said hoping Derek wasn't too disappointed.

"That's okay, why don't you sit down breakfast is nearly ready" Derek said giving her a kiss on top of her head, he watched her has she walked over to the kitchen table and sat down, he was preparing her favourite, he knew how much Meredith loved them.

"My favourite."

"I know"

"Now what i have done to deserve this"

"You always deserve it, Mer. There is something that i need to talk to you about"

"What?" Meredith said worried.

"I have been asked to consult on a patient in Chicago, and they specific requested me, and they won't see another neurosurgeon" Derek said waiting for her response.

"Okay, so you will spend a few days in Chicago, i can cope on my own you know, i am more than able"

"I know that Mer, i never said that you couldn't, it is just they want the consult next week"

"And?" Meredith said bluntly.

"It is when we are suppose to go to New York"

"That okay, Derek" Meredith said gently, a little relieved.

"I don't want to leave you to face him alone" Meredith reaches over the table, and takes his hand in her's.

"Derek, i will be fine, i need to face him alone "

"But you shouldn't have too"

"I know but i need too" Meredith told him. Derek looked at her he could tell that she was determined too.

"Are you sure, Meredith?" Derek wanted to make sure.

"Derek, this is something i need to do on my own. I have been relying on you so much these past 8 months, and that isn't me, i need to be able to stand on my own two feet, you don't need to look after me"

"I like looking after you" Derek says has Meredith moves to the chair next to him and scoot the chair closer to him.

"Derek, i know you do, and do appreciate everything you have done for me, i love you so much, but i feel like i am losing myself" Meredith needed to be honest with him and herself.

"Mer..." Derek started before Meredith lips crashed against his, Derek pulled over to her so she was straddling him.

"Derek, i love you, but i need you to give me my space. Go to Chicago, be Dr Shepherd, and come to New York, be my Derek, but let me do this...i won't be on my own, Susanna will be there all the time by my side, as well as your family .

"I can't believe i am agreeing to this"

"You are agreeing to this because you love me"

"Well the love you part is right" Derek said kissing her.

"You are meeting me New York after your consult"

"Damn right i am"

"You know Susanna number, and i need to discuss my job too

"I know, spend some time with mom too, she would love it"

"Derek, i intend too, your mom as already booked up by time, and she is attending court with me"

"Good" Derek said with a smile.

"And not to mention Lacey said something about dragging me out one night"

"I think you still need it, just son't forget me, okay"

"Derek, you are the only one that can give me screaming orgasms, remember that"

" I will, just promise me one thing when you are in New York"

"Anything" Meredith said with a smile, has long has it puts him at ease.

"You won't freak out on me if i keep texting you, i can't say i won't be worried"

"Okay, i promise to check in twice a day"

"Thank you" Derek said before his lips crashed again her.

"Make love to me Derek" Meredith says, Derek picked her up and carries her up to the bedroom, before laying her on the bed, and removing her robe, Derek scan her body once.

"You are so beautiful Meredith" Derek said before taking a nipple in to his mouth, and quickly entering her, making love to the woman of his dreams.


	46. Chapter 49

**Sorry for the delay, I am still finding it difficult to write so I will update when I can, I like being able to update every other day but it is not practical at the moment. Thanks for your patient. Enjoy!**

Derek made sure that his flight to Chicago was on the same day as Meredith's flight to New York, he didn't want to stay in their house for one night without her, and he hoped that the consult wouldn't take any longer than a few days, he respected that Meredith needed space, things had been pretty full on for her this past 8 months, and she had pretty much gone from leaving her husband straight into a relationship with him. Derek would do anything if made her happy. Derek was hoping to get to New York by the end of the week, it was almost a year to the day since he met her, and his life changed for the better.

Derek watched her, sleeping as she curled deeper into him. He buried his nose in her hair; he couldn't remember what his life was like before he met her, she had quickly made him fall for her, and yet, he wouldn't have it any way other. Derek had always believed in soul mates, but he never actually thought that he would find his, until that day his eyes met her over that conference room, he knew straight away that this would be the woman he spent the rest of his life with. Derek closed his eyes and breathed her in, knowing that he was going to missed her unique smell, for the next few days, but he was so proud of her, and he knew that his mom would be around if she needed anyone as well as Susanna, Derek was so glad at how close his girlfriend and his mom was. Derek could feel Meredith lips on his, bringing him out of his thoughts.

"Where were you?" Meredith said against his lips.

"Just thinking" he told her, deepening the kiss.

"About what?" Meredith asked has his tongue invaded her mouth. Derek rolled over bringing her on top of him, so she was laying on top of him, his morning wood, already at the entrance of her core.

"About you and how lucky i am to have found you" he said with a small smiles, has they continued to explore each other mouths, pulling away when the need to oxygen becomes great. Meredith rests her forehead against his.

"I am the lucky one" Meredith says gently, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"We are both lucky"

"I agree with that, Derek Shepherd"

"I agree Meredith Grey" Derek says kissing her once again quickly rolling her over so he is on top of her, Derek smiles has Meredith opens her legs, his cock touching her wet core.

"You are so wet...baby"

"Only for you..." Meredith says has he fills her up, until his cock hits the tip of her cervix.

"I am going to miss you so much, Meredith" Derek said, as he started moving inside of her.

"Derek...fuck me..." Meredith says kissing him and shutting him up.

"Anything you say Ms Grey" Derek grins, he pulls out of her, and turns her to face down, pulling her ass up his cock, entering her hard and fast from behind. Meredith found herself on her hands and knees, her hand holding on the headboard, as Derek pounded in to her hard and fast, just like she asked him to.

"Derek" Mer called out, has he kept hitting her cervix, Derek was spanking her at the same time.

"Mer..."

"Fuck..."

"You are so tight...Mer"

"Derek...please" Mer begged him as he pulled out of her, before quickly entering her once again, hard and fast, as she started to tremble.

"DEREK...."

"MER..."

"DEREK" Meredith screamed as she came, her body shaking violently at her released and Derek came right after, screaming on her, name. Meredith arched her back so he was still inside of her, and their tongues should explore each other mouths, until he pulled out of her. Derek laid down beside her, gathering her in his arms, as she turned to face him, kissing him.

"That was..."

"Amazing" Derek finished, Meredith looked up at him with a smile, before snuggling deeper into him.

"i know...i don't want to leave you...I am scared" Meredith admitted to him.

"Mer...You were right, this is something you need to do on your own but i am only at the other end of the phone, and only a few hours away. Mom said if you were wanted either her or Lacey in that court with you, then either one or both of them or both of them will attend along with Susanna, but it is up to you" Derek said gently caressing her cheek.

"I know, but they aren't you"

"Meredith, if you want me there, than just tell me"

"Of course i want you there Derek, i really don't want to do this on my own...but i know i need too, for me, for our future"

"Meredith...I love you...and i will support you whatever you want to do...but just for you to know i am so proud of you Meredith"

"Thank you Derek...i was starting to freak out" Mer was honest with him, her fingers running through his dark curls, she kisses him, their kisses get more passionate, Derek feeling himself react to her, and he makes love to her. After the round of lovemaking, Meredith kisses Derek hard, and he watches her walk into the en-suite. Meredith flight was an hour before his, and he was glad about that. Once Meredith had turned on the showers, Derek grabbed his boxer off the floor and went down to do some toast and coffee, for her once she had gotten out of the shower.

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They arrived at Seattle-Tacoma airport, two hours before Meredith's flight to New York, thankful that both their flights was in domestic area so they could stay together at least until Meredith's flight was called. Meredith never let Derek go in the moment that she was waiting for her flight to be announced. She was terrified, but knew that this was what she needed to do, and when they finally announced her flight, Derek walked her to her gate, and held her close, has the queue started to get longer. Meredith stayed until the final boarding call.

"Meredith...you need to go...I love you, and i will be there in a few days, i promise" Derek said holding her close, breathing her in, and kissing gently against the lips.

"Text me the minute you land in New York, and keep your phone on, I love you Meredith Grey"

"As soon as i land, and you to, and i will speak to you later, i love you too" Meredith said, giving him one last kiss before she board her flight, she turned back to him at the gate, smiled and wave before disappearing from his sight. Derek stood and watched as her plane took off, just has his flight to Chicago was announced over the loudspeaker.

**Please show me some love **


	47. Chapter 50

**Sorry about the wait, here is the update, i am not completely happy with it, but it something. There is no MerDer interaction in this update, and it does move back and forth between New York and Chicago. Enjoy!**

Meredith was so glad to get off the plane, it was a long flight, and she hated planes as it was, especially when she had to fly by herself. Meredith slept through much of the flight, since Derek had kept her up all night, not that she was complaining, she wouldn't see him for a least three or four days, anyone else she was fine but she hated the fact that she wouldn't see him but it was her idea to come alone, and know she was kicking herself for it. While she was waiting for her luggage she quickly texted Derek, letting him know that she had arrived safely and that she loved him, before grabbing her luggage and going to meet Susanna, Carolyn and Lacey in arrivals.

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Derek had landed in Chicago, and he checked his phone, it was the first thing that did once he got off that flight. He had a text from Meredith, telling him that she arrived in New York safely, and that she loved him. He looked at his watch, knowing that he would have to wait until after his consult to talk to her, he sent her a quickly text, before leaving the terminal, telling her that he would call her later. Derek was met at arrivals by one of his former interns of when he was a resident at Seattle Grace.

Derek arrived at the Neurologic and Orthopaedic Hospital of Chicago to be, met my the hospital board director.

"Dr Shepherd, i am Dr Jack Bright"

"Pleased to meet you...Now why i have been called for a consult when you have

some of the best neurosurgeons in the US" Derek asked.

"The patient specifically requested you, and everyone here would love to work with the famed Dr Derek Shepherd"

"So, what is the diagnosis?" Derek asked Dr Bright. "I know next to nothing about the patient, only that he specifically asked for me"

"He was diagnosed with a rare tumour, and he insisted that he wanted you, he had heard about the Shepherd Method, and was interested in trying it. He was diagnose about two years ago, and after trying all treatments available, he was ready to give up until he read about your trial in neurology today, he knows that this could be his last chance to live"

"Okay, but it could also be the treatment that kills him, it is still risky, i have only a few successes with the trial"

"I am aware Dr Shepherd and i have given him the odds but both him and his wife is willing to take the chance"

"OK, Dr Bright that goes and see our patient" Derek says, taking the chart from Dr Bright and following him into the patient room.

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Meanwhile in New York, Meredith is get settled into Susanna, she had hoped that Derek would have called her by now, but he hadn't, she had heard from him, other than the text he sent her after he landed in Chicago, she knew that she was being irrational, but she was regretting coming to New York without him, Susanna had to go back to the office, and in the last hour Meredith could feel the panic getting worse as the minutes went by. There was a knock on the door, making Meredith jump, she knew that Mark was in jail, and that he couldn't get to her, but she needed Derek.

"Meredith, its Lacey, can you let me in" Meredith heard the voice of Derek sisters, the relief washed over her, she opens the door. Lacey takes a quick look at Meredith before pulling her into her arms.

"Oh...Mer" Lacey said closing the door behind her.

"I'm sorry..."

"Don't be...I have already spoken to Derek quickly, he wanted me to come over and spend the day with you, and he knew how hard it would be"

"He hasn't called me" Meredith said sadly.

"Mer, i spoke to him before he boarded his flight, i have spoken to him, since he landed in Chicago"

"Oh"

"Right, go and get yourself shower and dressed, we are meeting mom was lunch, and I have spoken to Susanna, we are meeting at Echo was lunch in an hour"

"Thank Lacey" Meredith said walking into the bedroom. Lacey pulled out her phone

and dialled Derek's number, which went straight to voice mail.

"This is Derek Shepherd, please leave a message and i will get back to you as soon as i can, thank"

"Der...It Lacey, I am over Susanna's, Meredith isn't doing so well. I am taking her out to lunch, please hurry in Chicago she needs you, love ya" Lacey said closing the phone down, and waited for Meredith.

**Don't worry Mark can't hurt Meredith physically where he is.**


	48. Chapter 51

**A longer update. I can't believe this has reached chapter 50, it is my far the longest fic ODF mine. Enjoy!**

Derek was stood in the hospital, he had been hoping to be in New York by now, but his patient had wanted the procedure today, he hated this, he knew how scared that she was, and he wanted nothing but to be by her side, supporting her. Derek knew letting her go to New York on her own was a mistake, but he knew how much she wanted to do this herself. Derek wanted her to ask him to come but she was stubborn, and he knew that she wouldn't ask him. Derek was stood in the senators room, writing in his chart, but unable to keep the worry of his face.

"Derek, are you okay?"

"I am fine Jack" Derek said just has his cell gone off, he excused himself. "Mom?"

"Hey, Derek"

"Is Meredith okay" Derek said worryingly.

"Derek, she has locked herself in her room, she is terrified about today, and she keeps asking for you"

"OK, i am on the next flight out, mom"

"What about you consult?"

"Right now, mom, Meredith is more important, i love you and I'll see you soon" Derek shut his phone, quickly and walked over to the nurses station.

"Barbara, could you book me on the next flight to New York please" Derek asked, giving her his credit card.

"Of course Dr Shepherd"

"Dr Shepherd is everything okay" Dr Bright asked him.

"Look Dr Bright, am i so sorry and i know the senator won't like this, but i need to go to New York, my girlfriend has a court date today and she is freaking out, i am going to speak to Jack, and i will try to get back here for tomorrow or Saturday"

"Derek, the chopper is leaving for New York in 30 minutes, you can get that"

"Thank you" Derek says before walking into his patient room.

"Dr Shepherd, is everything okay" Katherine, the senator wife asked him.

"Jack, Katherine, look i am going to have to reschedule the procedure, i need to get to New York ASAP, if you wanted another neurosurgeon to do the procedure than i would understand, if not i will be back my Saturday"

"Derek, what is going on?"

"My girlfriend's divorce date is today, and lets just say her husband is a bastard. She needs me right now, and i am sorry but..."

"Derek, it fine, i will see you on Saturday"

"Thanks Jack, Dr Bright will be taking over your case until i get back"

"Derek" Dr Bright said from the doorway. "the chopper is waiting for you"

"Thank you, and i will see everyone on Saturday" Derek said leaving the room, he quickly dialled his mom number.

"Derek"

"I should be in New York in a couple of hours, will you to be able to pick me up on Mount Sinai?"

"The hospital?"

"Please mom, i will tell you why later"

"Okay, love you son"

"Love you too mom, tell Meredith i love her and that i will be seeing her soon, i have to go" Derek says has he gets up to the heli pad.

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Back in New York, Carolyn, is relieved that Derek was on his way, she was a little confused to why she had to pick him up at the hospital and not the airport, but she just wanted her son to get here. Carolyn gently knocked on the door of Meredith room.

"Meredith, honey. I have just spoken to Derek, he sends you his love and he will be here in a couple of hours. He is really worried about you"

"Carolyn, anything?" Susanna asks her.

"Nope, Derek is on his way"

"Finally" Susanna said.

"Susanna, he only did what Meredith asked him to do"

"I didn't mean it like that Carolyn; i am just worried about her"

"Well, hopefully he will be here before the court date this afternoon, i am picking Derek up from Mount Sinai in a couple of hours"

"Derek's...coming" they heard Meredith saying quietly behind them.

"Oh...Mer" Susanna said walking over to her and pulling her into her arms.

"Derek will be here soon, Meredith"

"I'm coming with you" Meredith told her, Carolyn simply nodded her head. "I am going to shower, and i will be ready"

"Okay Meredith"

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An hour later, they were on their way to the hospital, Carolyn had already called Kathleen who worked in Mount Sinai, and she had organised for Meredith to meet him off the chopper, Meredith was quiet in the cab on the way to the hospital, Meredith kept playing with her watch. Once they arrived at the hospital, Meredith literally jumped out of the cab, all she could think of was seeing Derek. They met Kathleen in the lobby, who gave Meredith a hug.

"How you doing, Mer?"

"Not so good"

"Listen i spoken to the chief but i can't get you up on the heli pad, so if you wait in my office Meredith, i will meet Derek. I'm sorry i tried"

"Okay, Kathy, thanks for trying" Meredith said, looking at her watch.

"Listen Mer, i will be coming to the court with you as well, at least with all of us there, it might make things easier"

"Thank you, you don't have to do this for me you know"

"Meredith, you make Derek happier than i have seen him, and he loves you so much, and that is all that matters, from the moment my son fell in love with you, you were a member of this family, Meredith"

"Thank you" Meredith said with tears in her eyes, and hugging Carolyn.

"Come on, let go up to my office and wait" Kathleen said. Once they get up on to the psychiatry floor, Kathleen tells Meredith to carry on to her office, while she talks to her mom, Meredith doesn't even think how odd it was , until she opened Kathleen office door, and saw Derek stood there in front of her. Meredith flew into Derek arms and she couldn't stop the tears.

"Hey, its okay Mer" Derek whispered into her hair. " I am here now"

"I'm sorry i just got so scared, and i..." Derek lips finds her, and his lips crashes on her, both of them desperate to taste each other, until the need for air becomes to great, and they have to pull apart.

"I love you so much Derek"

"I love you too" Derek says kissing her gently again. "We have a couple of hours until court; you want to go out for some lunch, just the two of us"

"That would be nice" Meredith said, unable to keep her hand of him, making sure that he is real.

"Can we come in?" Kathleen asks, causing both of them to laugh.

"Don't worry we are not defiling your office"

"Good" Kathleen says, causing Meredith to hide in Derek's chest.

"Derek, i brought your suit"

"Thanks mom, listen i am going to take Meredith out for lunch, so we will meet you outside the court"

"Of course, i will see you both later" Carolyn said giving her son a hug before Kathleen walked her out of the office.

"I am going to get changed Mer, where do you want to go Mer?"

"I don't care, Derek, i just want to spend some time alone with you"

"Okay Mer" Derek said kissing her, before getting changed.

**Next update will be court.**


	49. Chapter 52

**Bear in mind I do not know how divorces work in my country let alone in the US or New York but that is the beauty of fanfiction, it doesn't actually matter**

After lunch , they made their way to the court house, Derek noticed that Meredith cling to him and was really quiet on the way over and once they reached the court house, Derek held Meredith close to him has they got out of the taxi. Since leaving Katz Deli, Derek had been watching Meredith closely and could see that she ready to run. Derek wrapped his arms around Meredith and she rested her head against his chest, and her arms wrapped around his waist. Meredith relaxed into his chest has they waited for everyone to arrive.

"Well, isn't this cosy" they heard his voice from behind them, Derek felt Meredith stiffen in his arms, Derek gave Meredith a kiss on the forehead, before she turns to face Mark.

"I really don't think you should be talking to me, Mark" Meredith says, holding Derek hand tightly.

"Like that has ever stopped me before Meredith" Mark said walking closer to her, Derek quickly stands in front of her.

"Mark, i suggest you back off" Derek says, wanting to punch him, but knowing that if he did it would likely make things worse.

"Mark, get inside that court, don't made me regret you coming through the front way and i will get the guards to escort you in" his lawyer said to him.

"You wouldn't do that" Mark quipped back to his lawyer.

"Don't try me Mark" Michael warned him.

"Great even my lawyer is on your side, you bitch" Mark spat at her.

"Mark, i suggest you listen to what your attorney says" Derek says to him. Mark gave Derek a cold look, and Derek just stared back at him, he wasn't afraid of Mark, and Derek wasn't about to let him think that he was.

"Meredith, i am so sorry, he promised me that he would leave you alone" Michael told her and Derek.

"Michael, why are you doing this for him?" Meredith asked him, especially considering that Michael knew the truth.

"Meredith, i don't have a choice, but i am doing this to protect you believe it or not, but i will warn you, Mark doesn't plan on making this easy" he warned her.

"Oh, i don't doubt that" Meredith says, coming to stand beside Derek.

"Look Meredith, i will see inside, take care of yourself"

"I will, thanks Michael" Meredith says giving Michael a hug, before pulling away as Matthew arrives.

"Matthew...finally"

"Sorry I'm late my flight was delayed, how are you doing Meredith?"

"I will be better once this is over and done with"

"No doubt, i need to talk to you inside, alone, Meredith"

"Meredith its fine, i will wait for mom, and i will see you inside, i love you"

"I love you too"

---------------------------------------------------

"The case of Meredith Grey-James vs Mark James is called to order" the court official said. Meredith went in, followed by Derek, Susanna, Carolyn, Lacey and Kathleen. Has they walked into the court Mark looked over to her and started smirking until he saw all the people entering with her.

"Who are those people?" Mark asked Michael.

"They are Meredith family"

"Meredith doesn't have any family"

"Well, she does now, thanks to Derek" Michael took great joy in telling him.

"Well, once i say what i have to say, she won't have anyone left"

"Mark, as your lawyer, i suggest that you agree with everything that happens"

"Why because you are in love with my wife"

"Mark, don't be an asshole and set her free, let her free"

"You know you have no hope with her, Michael, even i can see how much she loves him"

"Mark, she deserves to be happy, so let her, do something right"

"Okay" Mark replies as the judge walked into his court and they all stand up. Matthew stands up first arguing Meredith case, providing photos of Meredith injuries over the years, and to everyone surprise that Mark doesn't disagree with anything.

"After assessing all the evidence and you Ms Grey left Mr James almost a years ago, and normally the state of New York would require a legal separation after separation, and although one was not filed, i granted you a divorce from Mr Mark James on ground of his cruelty and inhumane treatment, you are a free women Ms Grey" the judge says, Meredith collapses into Derek arms, so sure that Mark was going to put up a fight.

"Your honour" Mark says standing up.

"Yes, Mr James"

"Meredith, i am so sorry, i know you have heard this of me many time before and i don't expect you to believe me, because i know i would, but at one point i did love you, but now all i can't say is that i hope you rot in hell...bitch"

"Mark...you are nothing but a coward and your words don't effect me any more. Mark you need help. Goodbye Mark" Meredith said, the guard came over to Mark and led him away. Meredith kissed Derek, before he led her away from the court.

"Derek" Meredith said once they got outside the court room.

"Meredith, how do you feel?"

"Free, at last" Meredith said, Derek pulled her into his arms and kissed her deeply.

"I want to marry you" Meredith said against his lips. Derek pulled back in surprise.

"Meredith i don't want to rush you, i haven't even asked you yet"

"Derek, if there is one thing i have learnt being with Mark is not too waste any time, and i want to spend a lifetime with you, i want to wake up in your arms every morning, and know that you are mine and that I am yours. Derek, will you marry me?

**Now i need an opinion. My orginial plan was that Mark was never going to divorce Meredith that he would alway be a thorn in their side, but seeing how all you readers, hated him already and i think eventually you all would get bored i decided to change my plan. Still is this too fast?, Meredith and Derek getting married considering Meredith has only been divorced, i want to know my readers idea, not you telling me whatever i decided to do, ultimately it is down to me, but i want to know what you think. Tell me here on the thread or for anY lurkers feel free to PM me. **


	50. Chapter 53

**How much do i love you guys? I sat in work writing an update, and i have finished typing it. I Have just worked my second of three long days with no day off until next Saturday. This is just a filler, but i want to write what was going through their minds, i still haven't actually decided what i am going to do yet, some of you don't think it is too fast, while others don't, i think i have an idea of where it is heading, but i can't decided where i originally decided to go or not. This update go back and forth between Derek and Meredith's thoughts. Enjoy!**

**Previously on A Love that Knows No Boundaries**

"_Derek, if there is one thing I have learnt being with Mark is not too waste any time, and i want to spend a lifetime with you, i want to wake up in your arms every morning, and know that you are mine and that i am yours. Derek, will you marry me?"_

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Derek stood there staring a Meredith, in shock; those were the words he was not expecting to hear, especially not on this day. Derek was totally speechless, as his family milled around Meredith giving her their congratulations which gave Derek a chance to think about the million thoughts going through his mind. Yes, he wanted to marry her, and his want children with her, and he knew that he wanted to spend forever with her, but marriage now, no matter how much he loved her, he wasn't sure that he was ready, yet. After his divorce from Addison, he swore that he would never get married, that is why over the years, he has never had a serious relationship since until he met her a year ago.

"Derek" his mom's voice broke through his thoughts.

"Yes mom"

"We are going to celebrate the good news, are you coming?"

"I will follow you mom, there is something i need to do first"

"Okay" Carolyn said, Derek pulled Meredith into his arms and gave her a gentle kiss on lips, before letting her go and watching her being dragged off by his family.

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"_Will you marry me?"_

Where the hell did that come from, as soon as those words left her mouth she wanted to slap herself, where on earth did that come from, she had only just thirty minutes before been granted her divorce, it was way to fast to be thinking about marriage, no matter how much she loved him. She knew that she had never loved anyone like she loved him. Meredith was watching Derek closely, and for the first time since they met, she couldn't read him, and she so desperately wanted to know what was going though his mind. Meredith was pulled out her thoughts by Lacey throwing her arms around her, and congratulating her, and once \lacey finished hugging her, she was pulled into another hug by Carolyn, she offered Derek a small smile but he never noticed.

"Let's go and celebrate Meredith?" she heard Carolyn say and before she could respond, she heard her addressing Derek and his reply broke her heart, she was so worried that she ruined the best thing that had ever happen to her. When Derek pulled into his arms and gently kissed her, her heart leaped, before they dragged her away from him. Yes she wanted to celebrate but only with Derek.

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Derek watched has his family pulled Meredith away from him, and once she was out of sight, he walked toward the bar across the street, and decided to have a quick drink before meeting them, when they got back to the hotel it was time to deal with elephant that stood between them right now.

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Meredith wanted to fight them and stay with Derek and talked about this, the big elephant that stood between them right now, she kept looking behind her hoping Derek was following them, but he wasn't, her heart sunk. Meredith had to believe that wasn't it that they could work through this, that this wasn't the end of them.


	51. Chapter 54 Decision Time

**A big thanks to Stef (Rockstar) for the help in deciding this outcome, this is a little different from what you read last night hun. I hope you are all happy with this outcome, i think you will be. Fingers crossed. My original plan for this fic for that Mark would never agree to a divorce, that Mark would always be in the background of their lives, so marriage was never on the cards anyway, Reading all of your reactions as made me deviate from my original plan, but i am happy with the direction it is going, i still feel that there is a lot more to tell, even with Mark out of the picture. Enjoy!**

Meredith followed Derek back to the hotel where Derek had made reservations; they both knew that they needed privacy to talk which is why they turned down invitations to spend time with Susanna or any of Derek's family that night. They had arranged to meet them the next day which made Meredith's heart soar, that maybe everything would be okay with them.

Once saying good bye to Derek's mom and sisters, Derek hailed them down a cab, and on the way to the hotel, they interlinked fingers, either of them talking. Both of them were going over in their mind what they were going to say to each other. Once they were signed in and showed to their room Derek ordered room service, Meredith watched him closely she really wanted to know what was going through his mind.

"Meredith, do you want to take a bath? While we wait for room service" Derek said smiling at her, but Meredith didn't move.

"Derek we really need to talk" Meredith said, Derek walked over to her, and gently caressed her cheek, and leant down and kissed her softly on the lips.

"I know but right now, Meredith you need to relax, it has been a long and emotional day, so go and enjoy a nice bubble bath, and after we've eaten we can talk, i promise" Derek said, cocking his head to the side.

"I love you" Meredith said.

"I love you too, now go and have your bath" Derek said, kissing her gently again.

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Meredith came out of the bathroom, to see Derek at his laptop, she watched him, while he concentrated, and there was never any doubt that he was so handsome, so gorgeous and totally hers, she hoped.

"Hey, did you have a nice bath?" Derek said closing his laptop, and walking over to her.

"I did, it was what i needed"

"Good, let's eat"

"Derek, can i ask you something first?"

"Meredith, you can ask me whatever you want?"

"Areyouleavingme?" Meredith said quickly.

"Excuse me"

"Are you leaving me?"

"Meredith, NO, don't ever think that" Derek looked at her a shocked look on his face.

"I just though..." Meredith said looking down at her feet, the tears falling down her face.

"Meredith" Derek said lifting her chin up so she looks at him.

"Listen, i love you, do you really think after everything we have been through i could leave you, even if i wanted too"

"So...you are staying with me, because of it all...i don't want your pity" Meredith said pushing him off her.

"Mer..i did...not..."

"Fine...fuck you then Derek" Meredith spat at him, grabbing her bag and going into the bathroom.

"Meredith..."

"No...Derek you have made yourself perfectly clear" Meredith said slamming the door behind her. Derek runs his hand through his hair, in frustration, with no idea what set her off. After a few minutes, Derek knocked on the bathroom door.

"Meredith, please open the door" he asked her

"Derek, leave me alone" Meredith shouted.

"Meredith...please don't push me away, i love you, i promise you i am not going anywhere, god, i love you so damn much that that i can't live without you"

"Yeah because you feel sorry for me"

"Meredith, i never said that, god damn it Mer, stop twisting my words"

"You said..."

"Meredith, please open this door? I am begging you i do not want to do this through the door"

"So you want to break up with me face to face"

"Meredith...stop...i am not breaking up with you, god damn it i love you, you just totally threw me off, i was not expecting it"

"Well, i not like i planned to ask you, it just came out"

"So, do you want to get married? Honestly" Derek asked his head resting against the bathroom door.

"No, not yet, at least" Meredith told him.

"Me either Mer, i love you, but marriage we aren't ready for that. We need to be a couple Meredith, we have been through so much this past year, that we need to be us, without Mark standing in the background. We need to find out who we are together, before marriage is even on the cards" Derek told her, he heard the lock on the door click, and he quickly stood up

"I'm sorry Derek" Meredith said opening the door, Derek takes in her tear stained faces, before taking her in his arms, and hold her.

"Me too, i love you Meredith Grey"

"I love you too Derek, and i want to marry you eventually but i agree that we aren't ready" Meredith tells him.

"No we aren't but there is nothing stopping us from getting engaged" Derek says to her.

"Seriously"

"Why not? We can wait for marriage, even a long engagement until we are both ready. I do know that i want to spend the rest of my life with you Mer"

"Okay" Meredith said with a smile.

"So, make up sex, Mer?" Derek says kissing her hard, and pulling her towards him.

"Engagement sex"

"That too" Derek says carrying her over to the bed, Meredith laughing.


	52. Chapter 55

**This is a shortish update and no porn, i just can't get my head around it to write, updates will still be sporatic, coz although i am feeling a little better i am not 100% at the moment. Enjoy!**

Meredith woke up and it was still dark, she looked over at the clock and could see it was only 3 am, Derek was fast asleep, his arm over her stomach, and she leant over and kissed him gently, before slowly extracting herself from his hold, trying not to wake him up. Meredith knew that he hasn't had much sleep over the past few days, just like she hadn't; she knew it was ridiculous but she couldn't sleep without him and apparently neither could he. Meredith grabbed her robe, off the chair next to the bed, wrapping it around her. Meredith walked over to the balcony door, and stepped out into the New York air.

The events of the day before had finally caught up with her, has the tears came hard and fast. Meredith wasn't sure how long she sat there crying when she felt Derek's arms wrap around her, and she buried her head into Derek chest, Derek held her, letting her cry it out, letting all the emotions that she let build over the past 10 years out. Several hours later the tears finally stopped has the sky brighten over New York City.

"I'm sorry" she murmured into his chest.

"Meredith, don't, there is no need to apologise, i promise, i have been there myself"

"I know, but after everything Mark put me through why do i feel like this"

"Because has much i hate to say it at one point Meredith, you did love him and you have just ended a marriage. No-one especially me expects you to be happy about it, no matter what he did or how he treated you"

"I feel awful crying in your arms over another man" Meredith admitted to him, Derek shifted himself so that Meredith was sat in his lap, he ran his fingers through her hair, he found it was a way to help her relax.

"Meredith, when we met i knew you were married; so don't you dare blame yourself, I practically begged for you for us to be friends. I knew that you were married even though I was attracted to you; i had no right to chase you but i did, and i love you so much"

"I'm sorry" Meredith repeated.

"Stop Meredith, I was expecting to be comforting you tonight, I love you and here i am"

"What did I ever do to deserve you?"

"Meredith, you were a breath of fresh air, you saved from drowning, and that is all I know. I need you...so much...no one could ever mean as much to me as you do" Derek told her kissing her forehead.

"I know and i have never known anyone who makes me feel the way the way, you make me feel, Derek" Meredith said with a small smile, before kissing Derek. "I love you"

"I love you too...why we don't go back to bed and let some sleep and tomorrow we can enjoy our engagement" Derek said, Meredith smiled and kissed him hard, Derek pulled her close to him, and Meredith sat on his lap, deepening the kiss, before she pulled away and rested her head against his, that stayed like that for a few minutes before Derek picked her up in his arms and carried her to bed, Derek quickly joined her in bed, before wrapping his arms around her small frame, pulling her close to him, so that every part of their bodies were touching, Derek buried his head in her hair, as they both drifted back off to sleep.


	53. Chapter 56

**I wrote this in like 30 minutes, so I hope you like, just a little bit of fluff. And I have also update Right Here Waiting again for anyone who is reading it. Enjoy!**

Derek was the first one to wake up that morning, Meredith was lightly snoring, and having replace himself with his pillows, that Meredith quickly buried her head in, Derek grabbed his sweat off the floor, and walked out into the living area, he knew that it was only 5 am in Chicago, but he wanted to check up on his patient before making definite plans.

"Dr Malcolm Bright"

"Chief it Derek Shepherd"

"Ah Derek, it all went well a take it"

"It did, i will be flying back tonight so if you can schedule the operation for tomorrow afternoon, i would appreciate it. How is the senator?"

"The senator is okay, Derek, we have been lucky, and he is all fit for the operation

tomorrow"

"I will see you tomorrow chief" Derek says hanging up, he rubbed his eyes, has Meredith wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Morning" Meredith whispers in his ear, Derek turns to face her, and pulls her onto his lap, and kissed her gently.

"Good morning...how you feeling?" Derek said gently taking it her red, puffy eyes, and gently caressing her cheek.

"I am feeling a little better..."

"Good"

"When are we leaving for Chicago?" Meredith asked him.

"You coming back with me" Derek asked her.

"Don't you want me too?"

"Of course i do Mer, but i am going to be stuck in the hospital all weekend, i don't want you getting bored"

"Derek i have some articles to write for Susanna, i have plenty to keep me going, and right now i don't want to me without you" Meredith told with a gentle smile.

"Okay, i guess i will have to book an extra ticket"

"You will" Meredith says standing up and walking forward the bedroom "And Derek?"

"Yeah"

"I am looking forward to the vacation" Meredith threw him a smile before disappearing into the bedroom.

"How...?" Derek stayed in the chair wondering how on earth she found out about the vacation, Derek soon followed her into the bedroom, and stood at the door watching her.

"Lacey..."

"What?" Meredith turned around to face him.

"Did Lacey tell you?"

"Derek...does it matter?"

"It was suppose to be a surprise, Mer"

"I'm sorry Der"

"Mer, no need, i just though after recent events, you could do with some time away"

"It's a wonderful idea, Derek, i certainly need to relax, but only if you are by my side"

"Oh trust me, Mer this will be one holiday either of us will forget, I love you"

"I love you too" Meredith says wrapping her arms around him, and kissing him.

"Right am going to make some calls to the airport, and book us tickets to Chicago and then i will meet you in the shower" Derek kissing her, gently deepening the kiss, before Meredith pulled away.

"Well, Dr Shepherd, you better make those calls, fast" Meredith said going into the bathroom, quick tossing him a wink.


	54. Chapter 57

**We have the return of an old friend and Meredith marking her territory. Enjoy!**

They had been in Chicago for almost a week; Derek patient had required an extra operation to repair a intra-cranial bleed after the initial operation, Derek was now turning his after-care over to Dr Bright, he and Meredith was due to fly back to Seattle the next day, before their vacation started in a couple of days. Meredith was due to meet him in the cafeteria; he was shocked that she would voluntary eat hospital food. Derek had just walked out of his patient's room, when he walked straight into someone.

"Sorry" Derek said looking up to see a familiar face. "Addison...what are doing here? You stalking me"

"Whatever Derek" Addison laughs as Derek pulls her in for a hug. "How are you and Mark, Addison?"

"yeah we are good, Mark was thinking about coming up to see you"

"Yeah sorry i haven't been in contact, Addie, things have been a little crazy since i got back from South America"

"How is your friend?"

"Meredith, yeah she is good, she is meeting me here for lunch, you are more than welcome to join us?"

"Are you sure Meredith won't mind your ex-wife join you?"

"Addison, you were never really my wife in the first place, just by law. I think she would like to see one of my best friends though."

"Yeah, i just have to pop and see my patient but i will see you down in the cafeteria"

"Okay, Addie" Derek says giving Addie a hug.

----------------------------------------------------------

Derek went down to the cafeteria, not seeing Meredith there yet, he sat down at one of the table waiting for her, when he noticed one of the scrub nurse from his surgery sitting down opposite him.

"Dr Shepherd, i am Rose Carter, i assisted you in the senator's surgery"

"Oh right" Derek said with a small smile, looking over the nurse's shoulder at the entrance of the cafeteria watching out for Meredith.

"So, Dr Shepherd, i was wondering if you..." Rose started to say before Derek stood up and waved at Meredith, who had just come into the cafeteria. As Meredith walked into the cafeteria, she scanned the room looking for Derek, has she noticed him sat with some woman, and he offered her a small smile, but Meredith noticed that the smile didn't reach his eyes. Her eyes met his blue across the room, and she walked over to him, as she reached him, Derek stood up, and he wrapped his arm around her and kissed her on the lips, gently and softly.

"Sorry I'm late, i got stuck in traffic" Meredith said sitting down next to him, Derek scooted his chair closer to her, so he could put an arm around her, and kissed her on top of the head.

"That 's okay, Addison is joining us for lunch, she is here on a consult, i hope you don't mind"

"Not at all" Meredith said with a smile. "So, Der...Who's your friend?" she asks nodding in the nurse direction.

"That is...umm"

"Rose" she spoke up.

"Yeah Rose"

"Well, Rose i am Meredith Grey, Derek fiancée" Meredith says holding her head across the table; Derek buried his head in her hair, trying not to laugh at Meredith marking her territory.

"Excuse me" Rose said standing up and leaving the table. "It was good to work with you Dr Shepherd" Derek laughs into Meredith hair.

"Do you have idea how much i love you right now?"

"I think i know" Meredith said back.

"So, what are we having for lunch?"

"I was waiting for you, Meredith"

"Pick me up something i like"

"Okay" Derek says standing up and giving her a quick kiss. When he came back, he found Meredith and Addison sat at the table talking.

"Hey, Derek" Addison said.

"Addison, what are you two talking about?" Derek asked handing Meredith her food.

"Meredith was just telling me about the scrub nurse" Addie told him.

"oh lily or something"

"Derek, were you ignoring her?" Addison asked him.

"No, i was waiting for Meredith. I think she was going to ask me out or something but luckily Meredith got here in time" Derek said throwing her a smile.

"Anyway, Derek, i have a message from the husband. He said if you don't ring him soon, he will be flying his ass to Seattle, to find out what was keeping you busy other than work, since you are never in your office anymore" she told him.

"Well"

"I can see why Derek, i am glad that you have finally found someone"

"Thanks Addie" Derek said, reaching over and taking Meredith's hand in his, just has a pager goes off, it is Derek's.

"I am sorry but i have to go, Meredith i will meet you back at the hotel, at 5. I love you" Derek says kissing her quickly before rushing out of the canteen.

"Meredith, what has Derek told you about mine and his relationship?"

"Just that you went out in med school and that you got married and divorced, but you remained friends"

"That doesn't bother you does it"

"No it doesn't, i know it was a long time ago"

"Derek is my best friend other than my husband, and all i want for him is to be happy, and i will tell you this Meredith, Derek has never once looked at anyone the way he looks at you. It is clear that he adores you, and i can see how much you love him, but i just want to make sure that you aren't just using him. I don't know exactly what happened to you Meredith, because it is none of my business but i don't want to see Derek get hurt"

"Addison, i can assure you that i won't hurt Derek, not intentionally at least. Derek has been a life saver this pass year, and i don't mean figuratively, i love him with my all heart. Although i don't what i did to deserve him"

"Meredith, you are more lucky than you realise, Derek would go to the end of the world for you, and i think you both deserve happiness" Addison says with a smile, just has her pager goes off.

"It was nice to see you again Meredith"

"You too Addison" Meredith says before Addison walks out of the canteen, she quickly pulls out her cell, and leaves a message on Derek's cell, that she is going back to the hotel and that she loves him.


	55. Chapter 58

**I am not totally 100% happy with this update but I wanted to give you something. Enjoy!**

Meredith was sat in Joe's with Cristina, it was the first time in a while since she had been out with Cristina, Derek had been pulled into an emergency surgery and he wanted her to go out and enjoy herself, which is why she was sat in Joe's with Cristina, and her friends; people she had known since her internship, Meredith had been watching Cristina, Stef, Alex and George, she was surprised that Cristina was friends with them but she knew it was the bonds of surgical residency that kept them together. For the first time in a long time, Meredith wished that she had stayed to do med school, she knew how different her life would have been if she did, but she was also aware that she would have never met Derek either. A part of her couldn't help but wonder how much easier it would have been, and she knew if her and Derek were really meant to be, then they would have met anyway, he could have even been her boss.

"So, Meredith can i ask how you met Dr Shepherd? Stef asked her.

"Well i met him in Paris last year"

"So you are her"

"What do you mean?" Meredith asked Stef, a little unsure of what Stef meant.

Well, when he came back from Paris, he was a different person, but more happier"

"You see Stef has had a crush on Doctor Shepherd since the first day he came to Seattle" Alex told her.

"Shut up, Alex"

"It fine Stef, i have always had a bit of a crush on him myself"

"Meredith writes for the New York Times, and her speciality is neurosurgery, and this is all from a person who never attended med school" Cristina said with pride in her voice, knowing how much Meredith has had to overcome.

"Well that is what happens when you Ellis Grey for a mother" Meredith said lightly

"Your mother is Ellis Grey" Stef is surprised.

"Yep, the one and only"

"Wow, i would have loved to have her as a mom" Stef gushed; Meredith just smiled as someone wrapped their arms around and kissed her on the neck.

"My boyfriend might get very jealous, if he saw you doing that"

"So this boyfriend of yours is he the jealous type"

"Oh yeah"

"So, if i did this" Derek turned her around and kissed her hard, quickly deepening the kiss, Meredith was so glad that she was sitting down, otherwise her knees what have given way.

"Hi, I missed you"

"I missed you too. How was your surgery?"

"He coded half way through the procedure, and we lost him" Derek said to her sadly

"Oh...i am so sorry...Derek" Meredith gently kissed him on the lips.

"I just need a drink and you" Meredith giggled, and Derek sat down on the empty stool next to her, leant over and kissed her again before Joe put his usual in front of him.

"Thanks Joe, you are good man, ask them what they want and stick it on my tab"

"Sure thing doc" Joe said, Meredith rested her head on his shoulder.

"You sure your okay, Derek" Meredith asked him interlinking their fingers.

"Yeah, i just hate losing patients" Derek told her

"I know Der"

"Yeah, unfortunately it never gets any easier "

"Meredith" Cris comes behind her. "We are going up to dance, you coming?"

"No...I" Meredith started to say before Derek interrupted her.

"Meredith go with your friends, i am not going anywhere" Derek told her.

"Are you sure?" Meredith didn't like leaving him, not after the day he had.

"Yes" Derek said leaning over and kissing her. "I will wait for you right here" Derek told her, before Cristina dragged her up onto the dance floor. Derek couldn't take his eyes of Meredith had she relaxed and dance, Derek knew that it was just what she needed, to have friends around her other than just him and Cristina, watched Meredith dancing with Cristina and Stef, enjoying herself, is what he loved about her.

**Every so often I will include some of my reader into my fics, so if you would like to be a part of this or any of other fics, than please leave me your name with your comment or PM me.**


	56. Chapter 59

**I was asked on another board for drunken sex, so this is what I gave them. I HATE writing porn, it is so hard to write. Anyway almost 5 pages of porn for you ladies. Enjoy!**

After leaving the bar, Meredith and Derek were both too drunk to be able to drive home after drinking one to many tequila shot, and also Derek wanted to me able to return to Joe's again, so after Meredith attempt at dancing on the bar. They were lucky to be able to get a taxi that would drop them home. Meredith kept grabbing Derek's crotch, even taking his cock in her hand, and whispering in his ear.

"We should have stayed at the apartment" Mer said running her hand up and down his cock, almost causing Derek to call out her name, Derek grabbed her and kissed her hard as he groaned into her mouth.

"Meredith...you really need to stop doing that"

"And you don't like it" Mer smirked at him.

"I never said that Mer but if you don't stop it the taxi driver will get a frill that he didn't bank on" Derek whispered in her ear, giving her a little pay back, as he slipped two fingers inside of her, he rubbed her clit with his thumb.

"Oh..."

"You like that" Derek whispered, pulling his fingers out.

"You are evil, Dr Shepherd" Meredith said, once again taking his cock in her hand, and before she knew it, Derek came all over her hand.

"Well, just a bit of payback Ms Grey" Derek smirked as Meredith gave him an evil glare, Derek simply laughed, and leant over kissing hard, harder than he ever had before, leaving Meredith completely breathless.

"Oh...you almost made me cum, right there and then" Meredith said in his ear.

"Oh did i now, well you made me cum" Derek said plunging two fingers inside of her again.

"You are rather wet, my love" Derek said moving his fingers since of her, Meredith buries her head in the crook of Derek's neck trying not to moan, has Derek pushed his fingers up towards her g-spot, Meredith kissed Derek hard on the mouth, trying not to call out his name as she came all over his fingers.

"Oh...Der..." Mer murmured as they continued kissing, until the need for air became too great

"We'll have do that more often" Meredith said smirking, Derek smirked right back at her

"Well, we are on a ferry boat, Mer and it is late not many people around" Derek whispered in her ear, his finger tip gently grazing her boob.

"On a ferry boat, Der" Meredith said raising her eyebrows at him.

"Well, you know i have a thing for ferry boats Mer" Derek whispered seductively in her ear.

"So why are we still sitting here?" Meredith said climbing out the cab, before Derek had a chance to respond. Derek told the taxi driver that they could be right back, following his girlfriend up to the deck, luckily for them no-one was around, Meredith crashed her lips against his, grinding her hips up against his erection.

"God Mer" Derek said.

"Derek i need you inside me, now" Meredith said, unzipping Derek's jeans, and taking his erection in her hand. Derek was relieved that Meredith was wearing a dress tonight, it made it so much easier, Derek pushed her panties aside and quickly entered her, and started thrusting into her hard and fast, not giving Meredith a chance to adjust to his size.

"Harder..." Meredith says in his ear, grabbing his ass and pushing him deeper inside her, Derek grunted and pulled out of her, Meredith began to protest, Derek quickly looked around making sure that no-one was around before entering her from behind; pulling Meredith ass and hips closer to him, so that Meredith was leant over resting on the bar of the ferry boat looking out over the water, and Derek pounded and pounded into her, and slapping her ass.

"Fuck...Mer"

"Derek...don't...stop"

"Mer"

"Derek..." Meredith murmured, has she felt his hard cock hitting her g-shot over and over, Meredith started to tremble under him.

"Mer...love...you" Derek said, feeling her tremble underneath him, has his cock twitching, aching to be release inside of her.

"Derek...please" Mer begged him; her walls began to tighten and collapse around him.

"Meredith" Derek called out into Meredith back, Meredith threw her head back has she came around him. Derek collapsed against her has he spilled inside of her.

"Wow..."

"Yeah...now i really do love ferryboats" Derek said smiling at her, Meredith started to giggle has he pulled out of her and still leant against her, he zipped his jeans and helped Meredith to readjust her dress, has she leaned back against him.

"I think we should have drunken sex more often" Meredith giggled.

"Well Ms Grey, the night isn't over yet" Derek said wrapping an arm around her waist and headed back to the taxi.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Once they reached the house, Derek literally threw some bills at the taxi driver, telling him to keep the chance, Meredith stumbled to the porch nearly falling over, and luckily Derek managed to catch her.

"My knight in shining...whatever" Meredith said giggled, has Derek got his keys out, and Meredith leaned into him. Once they entered the house and closed the door, Meredith pushed Derek up against the door, and started undoing his trousers, pulling his boxers down, Meredith takes his already swollen cock into her mouth. Meredith started swirling her tongue around his cock; Meredith could feel Derek getting bigger in her mouth.

"God...Mer" Derek calls out; Meredith runs the tip her tongue over the tip of his cock, licking off the pre cum.

"Meredith..." Derek moaned

"What do you want Derek?" Meredith asked him.

"I want you to take all of me, and suck me hard" Meredith takes his whole length into her mouth, her tongue, running up and down his cock, which is already waiting to exploded into her mouth, Meredith sucks harder and harder.

"Meredith...oh..." Derek called out, has he began to thrust into her mouth gently; he just wanted to be inside of her again at that point.

"MEREDITH..." Derek screamed has he spilled into her mouth and Meredith licked him clean, before standing up and kissing him, Derek could taste himself on her. Derek picked her up, and stepped out of his jeans and boxers, Derek carried Meredith into the living room, laid her on the couch, Derek removed her panties, and pulled off his shirt, as Meredith pulled her dress off, Derek gave her his mcdreamy smile before taking a nipple into his mouth and placed his already waiting erection at the entrance of her hot, wet, dripping pussy.

"You are so beautiful Meredith" Derek told her has he entered her, completely filling her up, he was never able to get enough of her. "I love you"

"I love you too, make love to me Derek" Derek started moving slowly inside of her, Meredith bucked her hips, to meet each and every one of his thrusts, Derek kissed her hard on the mouth, and across her face working his way down her neck, and to her collar bone, than back up to her neck to the spot that he knew so well, Meredith ran her hand down his back, and cupped his ass and pushing him deeper into her has Derek tongue meshed with her, exploring each other mouths, with a long and gently rhythm has they made love.

"Faster, Der"

"Not now, i want to make love to you, we have fucked enough for one round of slowly sex, making love to my beautiful girlfriend" Derek said to her slowly, resting his hand on her hips to stop her from bucking them so quickly.

"Please...i need you so badly"

"I need you too, baby" Derek sped up his thrusts slightly but still keeping them slow but hard.

"Der" Meredith called out, bucking her hip even more, needing him deeper inside her. "Deeper" Derek cock hit the tip of her cervix calling Meredith to scream his name.

"DEREK..."

"MEREDITH..."

"OH...GOD...DEREK" Meredith screamed, tightening her walls around hid cock.

"MER...GOD...I'M" Derek screaming releasing his hot cum inside of her.

"DEREK..." Meredith screamed has her third orgasm of the night washed over her, Derek grabbed the blanket of the back of the couch and covered them with it. Derek pulled out of her and rolled off her, gathering her in his head, Meredith head resting in the crook of his neck.

"I love you, Mer" Derek said kissing her gently on the head.

"I love you too, Der" Meredith said running her hand down over his chest, and resting her hand on his, has they drifted off together.


	57. Chapter 60

Two days after Meredith's night out with the girls, Derek woke up, Meredith was still curled into him, Derek leant over and kissed her, knowing that they needed to get up soon, if they wanted to make their flight. The court case for battery and attempt murder against Mark was due to start in three weeks, Derek decided to take her away before returning back to New York, for the trial. Meredith still had no idea where they were going; Derek was hoping to keep it a surprise until they reached the airport.

"Mer...You need to wake up" Derek said gently.

"Hmmm" Meredith said turning away.

"Mer...Come on"

"No...Sleep" Meredith murmured in her sleep.

"Mer...we are going away today?"

"I am not going anywhere until you tell me where we are going?" Meredith said sleepily. Derek leant down and kissed her, before climbing out of the bed on his side, and walked over to Meredith side, leaning over and taking her in his arms he carried her to the shower.

"Derek...what the hell do you think you are doing" Meredith yelled at him, hitting him with her fists.

"We are..." Derek says placing her in the shower, because capturing her lips with his own. "We are going on vacation today...and if i left you in bed, we would miss our flight" Derek told her,

"Yeah but this isn't any quicker, Der" Meredith daid to him

"Well we have time for this" Derek said, cupping her ass with his hand as he lifted her up and Meredith wrapped her legs around his waist, placing the tip of his erect penis at the entrance to her hot wet core. Derek entered her quickly, before thrusting into her, Meredith hands running through his curls, had Derek nipped at her collar bone has he continued to trust into her, quickly.

"oh...Derek"

"Mer..."

"Derek, oh...god" Meredith called out has Derek hit the tip of her cervix.

"Meredith" Derek groaned has Meredith tightening her walls around his cock.

"Cum for me Derek" Meredith said nibbling on his earlobe, has her walls completely collapsed around him.

"Meredith..." Derek screamed has he released into her, and Meredith comes straight after, they kissing in the shower until Derek's flaccid penis slipped out of her and they quickly washed each other in the shower and Derek grabbed a towel from the side and wrapped it around Meredith and watch has she climbed out of the shower, at few moments later.

* * *

An hour later, Derek had loaded up his car, with their suitcases, and Meredith was still in the house, Derek knew if she took any longer they could miss their flight, their activities in the bedroom, after their shower, had them running late.

"Meredith"

"I will be there in a minute, Der" Meredith yelled back down from the bedroom.

"Mer, if we don't leave in the next five minutes we will miss our flight and we have to check in"

"I told you to check in online" Meredith yelled back.

"Meredith" Derek groaned

"Okay i am coming" Meredith said appearing at the top of the stairs.

"Oh you will be later" Derek smirked seeing Meredith, in a white summer dress. "Wow"

"You like..."

"Seriously we are never going to get to the airport at this rate" Derek groaned.

"Well lets just say i always wanted to be a member of the mile high club" Meredith said has she reached the bottom step.

"Trust me, dressed like that, you will be" Derek said pulling her close to him, and kissing her, before pulling away and taking her out to the car, Derek made sure that they house was all locked up, before climbing into the car, and taking her hand in his as he pulled out of the driveway.

* * *

They were finally in the air; having made it to the airport in record time, and managed to check in really quickly, given them a little time before boarding their flight to Hawaii. Derek leant over and kissed Meredith has the air hostess came round.

"Hi, i am Catherine, can i get you anything?"

"Can i have a glass of scotch please? Mer"

"A glass of wine would be nice"

"Of course" Catherine says giving them their drinks, before continuing on through the aisle.

"I love you" Derek said leaning over to her, and kissing her gently on the lips. "You look beautiful"

"Der..." Meredith started to say.

"Meredith...you are beautiful, accept the compliment"

"Okay" Meredith said.

"Bathroom, five minutes" Derek said kissing her deeply, before climbing over her. Meredith watched him has he walked to the bathroom. Meredith watched Derek walking to the toilet, admiring his ass. After a few moments, Meredith knock on the bathroom door, grateful that there wasn't a queue otherwise it would have been embarrassing.

"Finally" Derek said, pulling Meredith into the bathroom, and crashing his lips against her's, Meredith's hands working on the button and zipper of his jeans, her mouth never leaving Derek's, Derek pushes Meredith up against the wall, pushing her panties aside, and entering her quickly. Derek quickly thrusts into her, keeping his mouth on her to muffle her screams. Derek could feel Meredith tremble against him has her orgasm hit her, and Derek's hitting him has Meredith came down. Derek pulled out of her, and kissed her.

"You go and sit down, and i will be out soon"

"Okay, love you"

"Love you too" Meredith said giving him one last kiss, before slipping out of the bathroom, and sitting down in her seat, and a few moments later, Derek sat down next to her, and took her hands in his, entwining their fingers, Meredith rest her hand against his shoulder, and slowly drifts off to sleep. A few hours later, Derek wakes her up as they are coming into land, Derek always loved Hawaii, especially the conferences he had attended here, and he loved the view when they came into land, and he didn't want Meredith to miss it the view as they came into land at Honolulu International Airport.

"So where are we staying?" Meredith asked him.

"Well, after we get of this plane we have to catch another plane to take us to Hawaii's Big Island"

"We aren't staying here"

"Nope, we not, I promise you will love it, and beside a break is exactly what we need"

"Yeah, i love you" Meredith said kissing him.

"I love you too, Meredith" Derek told her has the plane landed.


	58. Chapter 61

**Finally an update, luckily rehearsals was cancelled tonight because of the snow, so I manage to finish this update. I am not very happy with this update, but it has been so long since I gave you an update that I didn't want to make you wait any longer. Enjoy!**

They finally pulled up to a bed and breakfast, Derek had rented a car for their vacation, has they stopped, Meredith leant over and kissed Derek.

"Thank you, Derek" Meredith told him.

"We need it Mer; we have two weeks to do whatever we want"

"So if I decided that I wanted to spend the whole two weeks in bed, than we could" Meredith asked him.

"If that was what you wanted to do, but I hope not, I have some stuff planned for us, Mer" Derek told her, kissing her again before climbing out of the car and walking over to Meredith side, taking her hand as his.

* * *

Once they were in their room, Derek wasted no time in capturing her mouth with his own. Meredith's arm snaking around his neck, has she pressed her body against his. Derek was grateful that their room was well away from the main area of the inn, because he planned on making her scream his name.

"Meredith" Derek whispered, turning her around so her back hit the wall, only just taking his lips off her to remove her top before crashing his lips against her again. Derek hold Meredith against the wall of the room, lifting up her skirt, and pulling her panties aside, Meredith quickly unzip his jeans, and pulling his jeans and boxers down, has his cock sprang from its confines Derek wasted no time in entering her, both of them moan loudly at the contact of her walls and his twitching cock.

"I love you so much, Derek"

"I love you too, Mer" Derek said starting to thrust into her, gently at first but gradually going faster.

"Deeper..." Meredith moaned out, Derek grabbed her ass, and lifted her up, Meredith legs going around his waist, and Derek continued to thrust into her.

"Oh...Mer"

"Fuck...Derek..."

"Meredith..."

"Der...I'm..." Meredith screams out, trying to hold back her orgasm, has her walls starts clamping around his bulging cock.

"Let it go, Mer" Derek said, has Meredith threw her head back in ecstasy has he came around him, and Derek thrusted into her one last time, as he reached his orgasm.

"Meredith..." Derek called out as Meredith collapsing against his, Derek held onto the wall to balance them both as they come down from their post orgasmic high.

"That...wow" Meredith murmured against him.

"Hmmm" Derek carried Meredith over to the bed, pulling back the cover he laid her on the bed, before climbing in next to her, and holding her tightly against him, running his fingers through her hair, and placing a gentle kiss on Meredith's forehead, slowly drifting off to sleep.

Derek woke up to little kisses being pressed along his abdomen, and Meredith hand running up and down his hard thick shaft, Derek kept his eyes closed, biting his lower lip so not to moan, until he felt her mouth going around his cock, his fingers found its way into her honey blonde hair, has she continued to suck on his cock. Derek moaned, has she took the whole of him into her mouth, and swirling her tongue up and down his shaft until he started to twitch in her mouth and has he finally released into her mouth, Derek let out a scream.

"I could get used to being woken up that way" Derek says pulling her up to him and kissing her hard, before flipping her onto her back and pinning her underneath him.

"Well don't get to used to it, Dr Shepherd"

"You disappoint me Ms Grey"

"I am sure we can rectify that, Dr Shepherd" Meredith says, pulling him down to her, to kiss him, Derek ran his hands down her side and over her hips, as Meredith ran her over his well defined back, separating her legs, so the tip of his penis rests against her wet folds.

"How are we going to that Ms Grey" Derek said with a smirk, before finding himself back on his back, and Meredith straddling him. "I like you on top" he said, running his hand over her bare breasts, squeezing her nipples with his fingers, knowing how sensitive she was, Meredith lifted her hips over the tip of his penis, and brought herself down, until Derek filled her up completely, Derek let out a loud groan feeling her walls around his cock, as Meredith moved her hips, he start thrusting up gently, before turning them over so he was on top.

"I thought you like me on top"

"I do, but i also like you another way", Derek said pulling out of her, and turning her over so she was face down, and places his hands on her hips, he pulled her towards him and entered her quickly, causing Meredith to call out.

"Der..."

"What do you want?" Derek said gruffly.

"I want you to fuck me" Meredith said, Derek started pounding into her, and hit her g-spot with every thrust.

"Fuck...Derek"

"Mer..."

"Oh god..." Meredith called out as Derek continued to pounds into her hard and fast, and grabs her hair with a free hand.

"Mer...not...long"

"Derek..." Mer called out as her walls tighten around him, feeling her orgasm starting to wash over her. "DEREK..." she screamed, as she came around him.

"MEREDITH..." Derek called out seconds later, spilling into her, and gently collapsing on top of her, kissing the back of her neck has he came down from his orgasm, before rolling off her, and Meredith rests her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat.

"I love you Derek"

"I love you too, Meredith so much" Derek says brushing his lips against her hair, and breathing in the smell of her conditioner, they held each other for hours, just enjoying the time spent together, without any interruptions from the hospital or anyone ringing them, just wrapped up in their cocoon of love.

**Hopefully I will be able to get an update up by the end of the weekend, if I can find the time to write, because after that it will be another two week at least before I have time to write another with my show coming up two weeks today, and I have a lot of rehearsals next week.**


	59. Chapter 62

**Here is a short update I wanted to give you something, a thanks for ur support. I do have my show this week but I will try to write during the day as I have the week off work. Enjoy!**

Two days before leaving Hawaii and going back to the reality of their lives; that would be coming up in the next week or two, Meredith had not thought of the court case once; until she woke up this morning, she was glad that it was almost over with and it allowed them to continue onto the next chapter of their lives without the spectre of Mark lingering over them.

For once Meredith woke up before Derek and looked over at him. She had loved him since the first day they met, and without him she had no idea where she would be, she knew that he wasn't ready but all she wanted to do was too be married to the man that held her heart, and she never wanted it back.

She had today all planned out and looking over a her cell which read 4.30, they still had an hour before they were due to get up, She had always teased him about watching her sleep, so she decided to watch him, it had been a while since she had the chance to and it was good to see him so relaxed. She was aware of how much he worried about her, especially with the court case coming up.

"Are you watching me sleep?" Derek said pulling Meredith out of her own thoughts.

"Well, it makes a change" Meredith said to him, leaning over and kissing him hard, wrapping her arms around his neck has Derek deepened the kiss.

"I love you" he murmured against her lips, before rolling over so she was underneath.

"I love you too"

"So what time do we have to leave?"

"In an hour"

"So we have time" Derek said, sucking on the spot of her neck that he knew drove her wild.

"Derek Shepherd, so not fair"

"So you don't want me buried inside of you" Derek whispered seductively in her ear.

"Make it quick" Meredith said.

"OH i can do quick" Derek said with a glint in his eyes, has he separated her legs and quick entering her, wasting no time, he started pounding into her hard and fast.

"Fuck..."

"Oh...god..."

"Derek...please harder" Meredith called out, squeezing her walls around his cock, causing Derek to moan out loudly.

"Mer...Please don't I will cum?"

"Derek ...I need you" Meredith whispered in his ear, wrapping her legs around his waist as he continued to pounded into her until Meredith screams out his name, as her orgasms washed over her and Derek came at the same time.

"I love you Meredith"

"I love you too, Derek" Meredith said, Derek still inside of her , not wanting to pull out, they let themselves melt into each other embrace, until they were forced to get up. They knew that they were going to have to leave in the next hour, and the day ahead they were looking forward to.


	60. Chapter 63

**This update is mainly in narrative with every little dialogue, although there is some dialogue. Sorry about the wait, it has taken me forever this update, so I am not 100% happy with it. Enjoy!**

An hour later they were cuddling, Meredith rested her head on Derek chest has he ran his fingers through her hair; she knew they needed to get up within the next 10 minutes to make the hike. Over the past 14 days they went whale watching, swimming with dolphins, and spent a lot of time making love, just enjoying each other company, without any cell phones or Derek's pager, and Meredith was looking forward to the day ahead, Derek had done so much for her, that she wanted to pay him back. Meredith untangled herself from Derek and made her way into the bathroom, having a shower, having made clear to him that she wanted to shower alone.

After her shower, while Derek was in taking one she called the company confirming that they would arrive at the headquarters for 7 am, and knowing that they would have to eat their breakfast on the way in the car, so she had asked if the inn would do them a packed lunch, which they agreed to do, now it was just being in that car with Derek for the 40 minutes constantly asking her where they were headed. She swore that he did it just to annoy her, and give her some payback, since he liked surprising her and she hated them, so she always asked a hundred times where they were going.

* * *

Derek was surprised to learn that Meredith had booked them on the Twilight Volcano experience, he had thought about doing it, but he also knew that Meredith wasn't that keen on hiking, so he was touched that she did that for him. Derek leant over and kissed her gently on the mouth to say thanks you.

"I love you Mer"

"I love you too, now we should go and meet our guide and the rest of our group" Meredith said, climbing out of the car.

* * *

Over the next several hours, they hiked through the saddle and eventually made their way to the Mauna State Park, where they stopped for lunch. It was almost noon and Derek took Meredith's hand and led her away from the rest of their group, allowing them some privacy; Derek pulled Meredith down to sit in his lap, her head resting against his chest. They sat in silence while eating their lunch that Meredith had gotten made for them by the hotel, they never needed words to exchange how they felt; so they sat there in silence, sometime Derek planted little kiss on her neck and just enjoyed being together and it was enough. Meredith was surprised to find how much she had enjoyed this so far, she usually hated it when Derek dragged her out for a hike over their land.

After lunch, they rejoined the rest of the group, holding hands as they hiked toward |Hilo and onto the Kaumana cave. Once they headed down to the 25 mile lava tube, Derek pulled Meredith close to him, has their guide told them how Princess Ruth camped in front of the lava flow and prayed to Pele; not to destroy the city of Hilo. Once they left the cave, and headed toward the summit of Kilauea, a volcano that had been erupting continually since the 1980's. As they continued further up to the summit of the volcano passing steams vents, until they reached the summit, Derek wraps his arms around Meredith; he knew that this would be the perfect spot to propose to her but it also didn't give them the privacy that he wanted, he knew Meredith would hate it if he did in front of people they barely knew, even if they had gotten to know each other over the past eight hours. After explore the summit culdera, they headed towards Kalapana, a town that was almost destroyed by the lava flow form Kilauea.

Once they reach Kalapana, they made sure that they stayed close to their group, having been briefed on staying together has they hiked over the lava fields towards the ocean, and has the sunset behind them and they watched the lava flow entering the sea, Derek turned to face Meredith, pulling out a black box and getting down on one knee.

"Meredith Grey, I loved you the first moment I set eyes on you back in Paris, and in these past 16 months i have realised that have never loved anyone the way I love you. I know when you asked me to marry you a few weeks ago, I freaked out, but since then I have realised that I do not want to spend another moment without you by my side, so all of my fears and issues, have no place, because it your love that has kept me going, I love you, and I want to marry you, have children with you, spend the rest of my life with you as my wife, Meredith Grey, I love you. Will you marry me?"

"Yes" Meredith said without hesitating, Derek slipped the ring on her fingers has he stood up, Meredith threw her arms around his neck and kissed him hard. "I love you too, and I also can't imagine my life without you. Thank you for rescuing me" Meredith said before Derek dipped his head and met her lips once again.

Once Meredith pulled away she noticed the rest of the group coming back, and Derek pulled her close to him once again, wrapping an arm around his waist, gently kissing the top of her head and nibbled gently on her ear, whispering to her that he loved her. Meredith could feel a huge smile across her face, as she attempted to get even closer to him, her fiancé.

They finally head to Pahoa to stop for dinner, Meredith couldn't take her eyes of the ring Derek had given her, in the 14 months that they had been together, Derek knew her so much better than what her ex ever did, the ring was much more simpler than the one Mark had given her, but she loved him even more for it, it told her that Derek knew her, and it wasn't to make her into the person she wasn't. Meredith knew that she had finally found someone that loved her for who she was. This was more her, it was small, and much more beautiful than what she ever before.

When they finally arrived back to their hotel, and they were safely in their room away from everyone else, they finally celebrated their engagement, making love throughout the night, and once Derek fell asleep next her, Meredith wouldn't take her eyes off the ring he had given her, and never thought that she would be engaged to the love of her life.

**After this we are taking a time jump, i am looking to end this within the next 5-10 updates, since there seems to be a lost of interest in this story. Also look out for my new fic All of my Life, which i will start posting sometime this month.**


	61. Chapter 64

**A/N I am going to start this with a quick Author's Note, since I think this is important concern a little something in this update. I have been writing this update for the past two weeks, and I mention in it that Derek had been away in South America due to an earthquake, now with the recent earthquake in that area I did consider changing it, but I have decided to keep it in. I hope this doesn't offend anyone. Now on with the update. Enjoy!**

**Two years Later**

Meredith ran her hand through her hair, it had been a habit that she had picked up from her fiancé over the past three years, it was almost the end of the day for her, and she couldn't wait to leave the office this afternoon. Derek is coming back from South America, where he has spent the past month helping victims of the earthquake that hit Peru; only the month before. The past two years had only strengthened their bond, Meredith returned to New York, the year before, to go back to work, Susanna had given her a sabbatical until she was ready to come home to New York, and although it meant that she didn't see Derek has much as she wanted to, for the time being it was what she needed. After Mark had got sent down for assault and battery, she finally felt it was safe to return to New York for a year with Derek support, to finish out the year at the New York Times before moving to Seattle, full time, Meredith gazed at the engagement ring that Derek gave her two years ago, neither of them planning to marry just yet, Meredith knew Derek was still not ready and they both just enjoyed being together and for now that was enough for the both of them, Meredith was just turning off her computer when Susanna popped her head around her office door.

"Meredith, you joining us for drink tonight?"

"Not tonight, Derek is coming home"

"If you are sure"

"I am thanks Suze" Meredith said with a big grin, knowing that she would be seeing him in just over an hour.

"Goodnight Mer"

"Night Suze" Meredith says has she finishes closing off her computer and picking up the memos she hadn't read yet, grabbing her coat and bag before locking up her office.

GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA

Meredith was stood in the arrivals lounge at JFK, Derek plane was already 30 minutes lately and she found herself pacing up and down, unable to sit still, it had been 3 months since she last seen him, it was too long for her, since her move back to New York, they would see each other every

other weekend, alternating flying between New York and Seattle. Meredith never noticed that Derek flight had been arrived, that a raven curls man stood watching her from the gate, or while he walked up to the object of his affection until he was right behind her.

"Meredith" he said gently, causing Meredith to jump and turn to face him, before jumping into his arms and kissing him hard, forgetting that they were in a middle of a crowded airport, has their lips met for the first time in two months, before pulling apart.

"I missed you"

"I missed you too, now i have some good news"

"Oh...What that?" Meredith asked him.

"Let's go home first...i love you"

"I love you too" Meredith said pulling him in for a kiss. Once they arrive back at Meredith's apartment, and Meredith closed the door, Derek pushed her up against the door, before capturing her lips with his own.

"I've missed you so much" Derek said resting his forehead against her's.

"Me too, when do you have to return to Seattle?"

"Not until you come home with me"

"Really?"

"Really...so you are stuck with me for two months"

"I wouldn't have it any other way" Meredith said with a smile, before capturing his lips with her own, Derek cupped her ass, and carried her into their bedroom, making love until the wee hours of the morning before falling asleep contently in each other arms.

GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA

The next morning Meredith woke up reaching out to feel Derek to make sure that it all wasn't a dream, but the bed was empty, Meredith could smell the waft of bacon, and she smiled to herself, before slowly climbing out of bed, and grabbing Derek shirt that was on the chair and pulling it over her head. Meredith stood in the door way of the bedroom, watching Derek in the kitchen, the only time it ever got used was when Derek stayed with her, considering that she couldn't cook.

Derek smiled to himself, feeling his fiancée eyes on him, he always knew when she entered the room, he could feel her eyes on his back or in this case his ass.

"Morning" Derek said not even looking at Meredith, she walked over to him and wrapped her arms around his waist, and kissed his bare shoulder. "Sleep well"

"Best night sleep i had in months"

"Me too, now why you up, i was going to bring you breakfast in bed"

"Bed got cold" Meredith murmured, Derek turned away from the stove, and brought her back in his arms, dipping his head to kiss her hard, the kiss quickly heated up, only pulling away when the need for oxygen arose, and Derek rested his forehead against her's.

"I love you so much"

"I love you too" Meredith told him, kissing him gently on the lips.

"Marry me?"

"Excuse me"

"Marry me, before we go back to Seattle"

"Are you sure you are ready?" Meredith asked him, searching his eyes for any doubt, but only seeing love in them. "I thought you weren't ready, Derek"

"Meredith, we have been together for three years and after seeing what I saw in Peru, life is too short, and god know Meredith anything could have when i am away with Doctors without Borders, and i don't want to die without ever being married to you, so will you marry me?"

"Yes" Meredith said with a smile, Derek flashed her his Mcdreamy smile, as he leant down and captured her lips with his own, and carried her to the bedroom.


	62. Chapter 65

**I know I said in the beginning of this fic, I had no plans for Mark Sloan to actually appear due to the confusion over the fact that Meredith's husband at the time was also called Mark, but I couldn't very well have this update with Derek's best friend appearing. This will be the only time Sloan appears in this fic. Enjoy! This is the correct update, i must have uploaded the previous update, by mistake. Thanks for pointing it out to me, coz i would never have realised otherwise.  
**

It had been two week since Derek returned back from Peru, they were still in New York for the next 6 weeks, and they had both decided that they wanted to get married sooner, rather than wait until they were back in Seattle. Meredith was stood in front of the mirror in her bedroom, running her hand over the ivory dress that she had on, she wore the necklace and earrings that had been her mother's on her wedding day. Meredith was surprised at how calm she felt this time round, there was no doubt on her part, this was exactly where she wanted to be, and after two years it had finally come, it didn't escape her; that Derek had arranged for their third year anniversary of day they first met in Paris, Meredith was surprised it managed to pull it together so fast, she had already had the big wedding, this time she wanted it small and with the most important people in her life standing there.

"Meredith" she heard Lacey behind her.

"Lace" Meredith greeted her future sister in law.

"You look beautiful Meredith"

"Thank you"

"Mom said we have to leave in 5 minutes if we want to made it to the courthouse in time"

"Okay, I'll be out in a moment" Meredith said turning back to the mirror, as Lacey walked out of the room. Meredith took a deep breath, and reached over to her small bouquet of daisies with lavender sprigs, before looking up and whispering, "I wish you were here mom and daddy"

GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA

Derek was standing in his old room in his mother house doing up his tie, it would much rather me getting ready at home with Meredith, they had agreed to forego the usual tradition of not sleeping together before the wedding until his mother and sisters practically forced him out of their apartment, insisting that Derek spent the night at his mother's house. Derek tried arguing with her but Carolyn wasn't having any of it. Derek was surprised to find that Mark and Addison had arrived from Los Angeles. Derek was finishing tying his tie; just as Mark walked in the room.

"You ready Derek?"

"More than ever, Mark" Derek said turning around to face him. "Thank you for coming, this means a lot to me Mark"

"It's your wedding day, Derek. I wouldn't miss this for anything"

"That and the fact Addison would kick your ass"

"Yeah that too" Mark agreed with him, Derek could tell that Mark wanted to say something.

"Spit it out Sloan"

"You sure this is what you want Derek, you always said you would never marry again"

"I know Mark; but that was before I met Meredith, I can't explain it Mark but all I know is that I want to be married to her, no matter what, and after everything we have been through these past three years; I think we deserve it"

"Of course you both do...cold feet?"

"Surprisingly no...I have never been more of anything Mark"

"Well, then, let's get you to the courthouse" Mark said slapping Derek on the back.

GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA

Once arriving at the courthouse and signing the marriage certificate, Derek stands outside the judge's quarters waiting for Meredith, his mom and Lacey to arrive. Kathleen, Nancy, and Olivia were already waiting with their husbands for Meredith to arrive. Derek saw his mother first to arrive.

"Mom...where's Meredith?" Derek asked sounding panicked.

"She is here, Derek. Trust me she isn't going anywhere...you will her when she walking towards you" Carolyn said kissing her son's cheek.

"Derek Shepherd and Meredith Grey" the judge's clerk announced. Derek walked towards her and shook her hand, has Derek and the rest of the guests entered the judges office. Derek took his place up front with Mark standing behind him, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder. Just has the door opened and Meredith stepped through, Derek couldn't take his eyes of Meredith has she walked toward him, Meredith gave him a smile, not noticing Cristina stood offside where her bridesmaids should normally be, Cristina came and gave Meredith a quick hug before stepping back in her place. Meredith gave Derek a smile before taking his hand and standing in front of the love of her life.

"I love you...you look beautiful" Derek mouths to her, Meredith gave him a smile before turning to the judge.

"We are gathered here today to celebrate the union of Derek Christopher Shepherd and Meredith Ellis Grey, if anyone knows of any lawful impediment to wht these two should not be marry, than speak now or forever hold you peace" the judge finished, Meredith and Derek smiled at each other, and the judge continued.

"Repeat after me. I, Derek, take you, Meredith, to be my beloved wife, to have and to hold you, to honour you, to treasure you, to be at your side in sorrow and in joy, in the good times, and in the bad, and to love and cherish you always. I promise you this from my heart, for all the days of my life"

"Meredith please repeat after me. I, Meredith, take you, Derek, to be my beloved husband, to have and to hold you, to honour you, to treasure you, to be at your side in sorrow and in joy, in the good times, and in the bad, and to love and cherish you always. I promise you this from my heart, for all the days of my life" Meredith said giving Derek a smile.

"Exchanging of the rings, is a time honour tradition, Derek has asked to go first"

"Meredith; I give you this ring as a symbol of my love. As it encircles your finger, may it remind you always that you are surrounded by my enduring love. Derek said before Meredith responded.

"I will wear it gladly. Whenever I look at it, I will remember this joyous day and the vows we've made. Meredith confirmed to Derek, as Derek placed the ring on her finger.

"Derek; I give you this ring as a symbol of my love. As it encircles your finger, may it remind you always that you are surrounded by my enduring love"

"I will wear it gladly. Whenever I look at it, I will remember this joyous day and the vows we've made" Derek said flashing his mcdreamy smile has Meredith slid the ring on her finger.

"With the power in me, invested by the state of New York, I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may kiss the bride" Derek took no time pulling Meredith close to him, and kissing her hard, before pulling away from her. "I love you Mrs Shepherd"

"I love you too, Mr Shepherd, my husband" Meredith said as they walked down the aisle. Derek pulled Meredith off into a side room to sign the wedding register followed by Mark and Cristina, before they left the newlyweds alone, Derek pulled Meredith close to him, and dipped his head and kissed her as Meredith wrapped her arms around his neck, and deepened the kiss, making the most of being alone before the photos.

"You look so beautiful, Meredith"

"Thank you, you don't look so bad yourself" Meredith said readjusting his tie.

"I have a little something for you" Meredith said holding out a small box to Derek. "They were my dad, I think he would like you to have them" Meredith said with a smile. Derek opened them, and a small gasp passed his lips.

"Meredith"

"My dad wore these on his wedding day to my mom, I wanted to give them to you earlier but I had no chance"

"Meredith...i can't..."

"Yes you can Derek, I think my dad would love you, you make me happy..."

"She is right Derek, Thatcher would want the person that loves his daughter unconditionally to wear them" Susanna confirmed walking into the room.

"Suse"

"No Meredith, let me say this...Derek I have known you a long time, almost as long as I have known Meredith...and I speak on behalf of Meredith's parents when I agree that Thatcher would want you to have those, I gave them to Meredith only yesterday; I never let Meredith have when even those she ask when she married Mark" Susanna took Meredith's and Derek's interlinked hands into her own. "Meredith; your father would have been so proud of you today, you are so beautiful and Derek; you are everything that Thatcher wanted for his little girl. Congratulations Meredith and Derek" Susanna said, giving them both a kiss on the cheek before leaving them alone.

"Are you ready to go for dinner, Mrs Shepherd?"

"Always Dr Shepherd" Meredith said giggling, just as Derek kissed her, before leaving their private haven and joining the rest of their family.


	63. Chapter 66

**Originally this was suppose to be the epilogue, but as a was writing this came out. It is another time jump and I would say there is only three more updates left of this story.**

Derek was driving up to his land, after a long day at work, he was looking forward to seeing his wife, since becoming chief at Seattle Grace two years ago, he was lucky if he made it home every other night, and he was hating it, it had been 6 years since they married, and they were blessed with a beautiful twins only a year after they married, either of them ever forgot the child they lost, and Derek make sure that Meredith mourned the child she lost years before they met.

As Derek opened the door his daughter Emily came running up to him, throwing her arms around him.

"Daddy, you home" she said excitedly, throwing herself into her father's arms, before worming her way out of them and running towards the kitchen where her mother and brother was.

"Mommy, Tyler. Daddy's home" Emily called out. Derek smiled at her energy, knowing that things between him and Meredith were strained at the best of times. Derek entered the kitchen to see his wife, hunched over the table, Derek quickly bent down beside his wife.

"Meredith, what is wrong?" Derek asked sounding panicked.

"Mommy has been like this all day daddy" Tyler told his father, Derek gave his son a small smile and ruffled his hair, his son's hair just like his own.

"Both of you upstairs in your room, while I talk to mommy"

"Yes daddy" they both said at the same time before Tyler led his sister out of the kitchen.

"Meredith, please tell what is wrong?" Derek pleaded with her, he knew things weren't right between them but he hoped the news he had would help them but not when the love of his life was so upset. Meredith quickly pulled out of his arms that he had wrapped around her waist and walked to the otherside of the kitchen, and wrapped her arms around her stomach.

"I'm pregnant" Meredith said mournfully, any other time she would be excited considering the two babies she had lost, but that was before she considered leaving him.

"Mer... that great news" Derek said pulling his wife in to his arms.

"I don't think so Derek, not when I was thinking of leaving you"

"Leaving...Meredith what are you talking about?" Derek was confused, he knew things wasn't right since he had taken on chief, but he had no idea things was this bad, he had always been a workaholic, but he had tried.

"It not like I would expect you to notice Derek, you are hardly ever home, and if I am going to be a single mother anyway, than it would be best if I did it all on my own"

"Mer...Please...don't do this...i love you" Derek begged her, Meredith shook her head

"I know, I love you too but sometimes love just isn't enough, Derek...And I can't do this any more. I will be moving into the spare room until I find somewhere for us to live" Meredith said going to walk out of the kitchen.

"Meredith"

"yes, Derek" Meredith said turning to face him, Derek had never noticed how tired she look, he had spent the last six month so tied up in the hospital; that he never realised what it was doing to his wife or his marriage.

"I'm sorry"

"Me too...just so you know I am not getting rid of this baby, it our child Derek and I do love you, but I am not sure I can stay married to you" Meredith said with tears in her eyes. Derek moved closer to her, drying the tears that threatened to fall.

"Meredith, I will move to the trailer, this is your and our children's home, I will not let you move out, I love you and I promise I will make you believe it once more, I am not letting you go, but I will give you what you want...but know this I am not giving up" Derek said, giving her a gentle kiss before leaving her alone in the kitchen while he went up and pack a few things in a bag to stay in the trailer. He looked around the bedroom that he and Meredith had shared for the past 7 years, until his eyes fell on their wedding photo, he remember that day so clearly in his mind like it was yesterday and he knew that he would do anything to get that back, he put it in his bag, before zipping up, he placed his bag in the hallway, before going into saying goodnight to Emily and Tyler.

He kissed his kids tonight, and told them how much he loved them, he didn't notice Meredith standing in the doorway has Derek clung to his children, this was not what she wanted, but she knew it needed to happen for Derek to realise what he was about to lose, she closed the door gently, before lying on her and Derek's bed, as she heard him leave she burst into tears, half of her wanted to run after him beg him to stay and the other half not able to face him. She reached out to grab their wedding photo but through her tears she noticed that it wasn't there, she knew Derek took it with him, and it made her smile, maybe he didn't forget what they once meant to each other. She just hoped that they could fix this.


	64. Chapter 67

**This is the second to last update. I am sad to end this story as I am not quite ready to let it go but with me being so busy I don't have time to write two fics anymore. Enjoy!**

It had been two months had since Derek had moved out, and he had never hated the trailer so much as the day he had moved back into it, from the deck he could see the house that held his wife and kids, knowing that he was away from them, and the love he once felt for the trailer when he first came to Seattle was gone, it had served to remind him of what he had almost lost. He said almost because the events of the day to come will hopefully show his wife that he would do anything for her and their family. Derek was afraid that when he moved out, Meredith would stop relying on him, and he didn't want that, not when she was pregnant with their child, but she still rang him every night, before she went to sleep and in the middle of the night for any craving she had, he just wished that he was there holding her every night and morning; until he realised, that it had been months since he last did that, being chief had got in the way.

Derek was walking through the hospital, and he looked at his watch, and noted that he had a meeting with Dr Bailey in just over 30 minutes, and he prayed that she would accept the proposal he was about to offer her, it was the only way that he could get the board to agree to his terms and then he could work on his marriage before Meredith asked him for a divorce.

"Miranda" he greeted Bailey happily has he walked into his office, when he saw her waiting for him..

"Chief, you wanted to see me" Bailey said getting straight down to business.

"Okay, Dr Bailey, I have an offer for you" Derek told her, sitting down in his chair.

"What kind of offer?"

"Chief of surgery" Derek said with a smile.

"Chief...Where?" Bailey asked her interest peaked.

"Here at Seattle Grace, has my predecessor"

"What? You retiring, Derek" Bailey said surprised that she used his first name for the first time in this meeting.

"Meredith left me, Miranda" Derek told her.

"What? Why?" Bailey was shocked; anyone could see how crazy they were about each other.

"Miranda I really don't want to go into details, but if I want to save my marriage some sacrifices need to be made, now Dr Klein is leaving in two months and the board have offered me head of neuro, if I decide to step down"

"Are you sure that this is what you want, Derek?" Bailey asked wanting to make sure that Derek had no doubt not.

"Meredith and the kids are more important than my job, and if I stay on as chief I will lose her for good and I am not willing to lose her, Miranda, we have been through too much let it end like this. So what do you say?"

"Okay, I would be honoured to accept the position"

"Good, Dr Bailey and congratulations" Derek said smiling, holding his hand out to shake hers. "I will notify you once I have spoken to the board" Derek told her, and Bailey left him alone in his office. Derek quickly picked up the phone, and dialled his home number; it rang a few times before Meredith answered the phone, breathlessly.

"Hello"

"Meredith"

"Derek, is everything okay?"

"Yeah it fine, just wondered if you fancied dinner tonight, I have something that I want to discuss with you"

"I don't know if I can get a babysitter"

"Don't worry about that I will sort it out, I will pick you up about half past 7"

"Where are you taking me?"

"It a surprise, I love you, and see you tonight"

"Okay, bye" Meredith said hanging up the phone, Derek smiled to himself before going off to his board meetings that he had scheduled for that day, looking forward to seeing his wife that night, hopefully convince her to give him another chance, he missed her so much.

* * *

Derek had arrived at house 30 minutes earlier, and the housekeeper let him in, she was staying on with the kids tonight while Derek took Meredith out for dinner, he wanted to spend some time with Emily and Tyler, he was sitting on Emily bed, which Tyler was staying in until Meredith got home that night. Derek was reading them a bedtime story, Meredith was watching from the bedroom doorway, she noticed the different in Derek when he was at the house to when she saw him any other time since their separation, Meredith rested her arms on the small bump, she missed him so much, and wanted him to come home but things needed to change. She watched them for a few more minutes before gently knocking on the door; Derek looked up from Emily princess bed, not able to take his eyes of his wife, until Emily broke the spell.

"Mommy, daddy was reading us a story"

"I know" Meredith said, sitting on the edge of the bed. "I want you two to be good for Helen today; mommy won't be home too late. I love you" Meredith said giving them both a kiss on the head.

"Daddy, when you coming home?" Tyler asked Derek. Meredith felt the tears well up in her eyes; Derek noticed this and gently squeezed her hand giving her a reassuring smile.

"Soon, I hope buddy"

"I hope so daddy...I miss you"

"I miss you too, Ty and you Em, daddy, loves you both so much" Derek said, hugging both of his children close to him.

"Daddy...I am looking after mommy and Emmy like you ask" Tyler whispered in his father's ear.

"You are and daddy is so proud of you" Derek told him settling him down next to his sister, and giving Emily a kiss on the forehead before following Meredith out of the bedroom.

"They miss you Derek" Meredith said quietly.

"I miss them too" Derek said with a sad smile. "And you" Derek thought to himself. "Come on, Mer...We will be late" Derek told her, placing his hand on her lower back and guiding her to his car.


	65. Epilogue

**Here we are the final update. Enjoy!**

Derek had made reservations at the favourite restaurant. He helped Meredith out of the car and placing his palm at the bottom of her back has he passed the valet his key and led Meredith inside the restaurant. Derek gave the maitre'd his name and he led them over to the private room at the back of the restaurant. Derek held out Meredith chair, before sitting down himself across the table from his wife.

"Your waiter will be with you shortly" he told them before leaving them alone, Derek reached over the table and took Meredith's hand in his.

"Thank you for agreeing to join me tonight"

"Derek; I do agree that we do need to talk" Meredith said smiling at him, she couldn't help but notice how handsome he looked that night; she had really missed her husband.

"I know that; but I'm scared of losing you" Derek told her.

"Derek, I am not going anywhere, I love you too much" Meredith assured him, squeezing his hand across the table as their waiter approached them.

"Dr, Mrs Shepherd...what can i get you tonight?"

"I will have a mineral water with lime, thanks" Meredith said.

"Just water for me too, thanks" Derek said; the waiter nodded before leaving, which Derek was grateful for, he wanted to spend some time alone with his wife.

"Derek; you can drink if you want?" Meredith told him

"I know but I never drank when you were pregnant with the twins; and I won't this time, you aren't going through any of this alone.

"I know that...and you have been wonderful considering I kicked you out"

"This is my baby too, and you know no matter what happens between us you will not be alone, I will always be there but saying that Meredith I want to come home, I've missed you so much"

"I've missed you too Derek" Meredith said smiling and squeezing his hand

"So what did you want to talk about, Derek?"

"I have resigned as chief"

"What?" Meredith said shocked, knowing that chief was why he moved to Seattle. "Derek, I never want..."

"Meredith, I know that but I don't want lose you or the kids"

"Derek i would never keep Em and Tyler from you, you know that"

"Yeah but i don't want to lose you either...god Meredith...i love you so much, i can't imagine my life without you in it" Derek said, not bothering to hide his tears. Meredith stood up and sat on her husband lap wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him close to her.

"Derek, I never wanted you to give up chief, when I married you I knew that it was your dream. All I want is for you to remember you have a family that want to see you, I want you to make us as important as your job, because Derek I hate it when Emily and Tyler ask where their daddy is when they go to bed and when they wake up in the morning. I can't even remember the last time we made love, Derek"

"Meredith, you and the kids have never been second to my job, I know I haven't known you that recently; but everything I ever did for you and the kids, obviously I didn't do it right, and if giving up chief means that I have my wife back than I want to do it. The board have offered me my old job back, and I want to go back to head of neurosurgery, I miss cutting"

"Only if you are sure that is what you want Derek, I don't want you resenting me"

"Meredith, I have made my choice; i want to be by your side no matter what i love you and that is all that matters"

"I love you too Derek Shepherd" Meredith said pressing her lips against Derek's, before the waiter came back to order their food. The evening went well with laughter and they finally felt that they were back on track.

It was late by the time Derek dropped Meredith off at the house, he walked her to the porch, before turning to her and taking her hand in his.

"I had fun to night Derek, I've missed doing this"

"Me too, i promise to make it all up to up Meredith, i am not willing to lose you"

"I know" Meredith said moving closer to him, and she wrapped her arms around his neck. Meredith kissed him gently at first but quickly becoming more passionate, until Meredith pulled away. "I've missed you" she whispers to him.

"I've missed you too" Derek murmurs against her lips, kissing her again. Meredith steps away from him, and toward the front door. She turned to him and holds her hand out to him.

"You coming home" Meredith says. Derek smiles at her and takes her hand; she leads him into the house and closes the door behind them.

THE END

**This is it, just after a year of writing this story, it is finally over. I want to thank each and everyone of you that have stuck through this emotional roller-coaster of a ride. I especially want to thank those of you that have been kind enough to share your personal stories we are all survivors. There will be no epilogue to this fic, because i really don't think it need one. I want to show that love can shows no boundaries and i hope i have done that.**


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